DB#6

BOOK:

*Developing Management Skills

· Author: David A. Whetten and Kim S. Cameron

· Publisher: Pearson

· Edition: 9th edition

· Chapter 4

Building Relationships by Communicating Supportively

The most important barriers to effective communication in any organization are interpersonal. Poor communication creates distrust, hostility, defensiveness, and feelings of incompetence and low self-esteem. Most managers agree that many of the problems they are involved in relate to communication problems.

Dysfunctional communication is seldom associated with situations involving compliments, congratulations, recognition, or other positive interactions. The most difficult, and potentially harmful, communication patterns are most likely to emerge when you are giving feedback on poor performance.

Examples: saying "no" to a proposal or request, resolving a difference of opinion between two subordinates, correcting problem behaviors, receiving criticism from others, or facing other negative interactions. These situations arise in the context of coaching and counseling others. Situations that foster interpersonal growth and engender stronger relationships are attributes of an effective manager.

There are eight principles of supportive communication. These principles ensure greater clarity and understanding of messages. In addition, supportive communication convey to others a feeling of acceptance, value, and support. When these eight principles are practiced and applied every day in interactions with others, they can improve communication competence.

The eight attributes of supportive communication focus on being:

1. Congruent, not incongruent

2. Descriptive, not Evaluative

3. Problem-Oriented not person-oriented

4. Validating, rather than invalidates individuals

5. Our feedback is:  Specific (useful), not global (nonuseful)

6. Our constructive suggestions are:  Conjunctive, not disjunctive

7. Our "feelings" statements are Owned, not disowned

8. Supportive listening is a two way "transaction", not one-way message delivery

Coaching vs counseling is introduced as two separate "hats" that managers must wear.  Ken Blanchard, author of The One Minute Manager provides a method by which we can determine what hat we should be wearing when giving supportive feedback.  He says that when an employee is not performing up to our expectations we can ask two questions to identify which hat is appropriate:

1. It the performance problem caused because the employee can't do it? (which signals a need for more training...coaching)

2. Is the performance problem due to the employee won't do it?  (signaling a need for personal performance review(counseling)  to determine what problem is

Item 8 Supportive Listening involves: (see model pointing out that Advising and Deflecting are more directive coaching responses;  Probing and Reflecting are more indirect counseling responses.)

1. Advising, "I can help you do this better."

2. Deflecting - sharing personal or others experience to help employee see they are not alone in their experience...others have traveled this path and been successful in finding solution.

3. Probing - asking questions to clarify your understanding

4. Reflecting - paraphrasing to indicate your understanding and acceptance