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Chapter 2 Interpersonal

Communication

and Emotional

Intelligence

No reproduction or further distribution permitted without the prior written consent of McGraw Hill.

Learning Objectives 1

2.1 Describe the interpersonal communication process

and barriers to effective communication.

2.2 Explain how emotional hijacking can hinder effective

interpersonal communication.

2.3 Explain how self-awareness impacts the

communication process.

2.4 Describe how self-management impacts the

communication process.

2.5 Explain and evaluate the process of active listening.

Learning Objectives 2

2.6 Describe and demonstrate effective questions for

enhancing listening and learning.

2.7 Explain strategies to sight-read the nonverbal

communication of others.

2.8 Identify common communication preferences based

on motivational values.

2.9 Explain how extroversion-introversion impacts

interpersonal communication.

2.10 Explain the role of civility in effective interpersonal

communication and the common types of incivility in

the workplace.

Understanding the Interpersonal

Communication Process 1

Interpersonal Communication Process

• Sending and receiving verbal and nonverbal messages

between two or more people.

• The exchange of simultaneous and mutual messages to

share and negotiate meaning between those involved.

• Meaning

• Encoding

• Decoding

Figure 2.1 The Interpersonal

Communication Process

Access the text alternative for slide images.

Understanding the Interpersonal

Communication Process 2

One goal of interpersonal communication is to arrive

at shared meaning.

• The people involved in interpersonal communication

attain the same understanding about ideas, thoughts, and

feelings.

Understanding the Interpersonal

Communication Process 3

Physical noise

Physiological noise

Semantic noise

Psychological noise

Understanding the Interpersonal

Communication Process 4

Physical Noise

• External noise that

makes a message

difficult to hear or

otherwise receive.

• Ex., loud sounds.

Physiological Noise

• Internal noise.

• Ex., illness, hearing

problems, and memory

loss.

Understanding the Interpersonal

Communication Process 5

Semantic Noise

• Communicators apply

different meanings to the

same words or phrases.

• Especially when strong

emotions are involved.

Psychological Noise

• Interference due to

attitudes, ideas, and

emotions experienced

during an interpersonal

interaction.

Understanding the Interpersonal

Communication Process 6

Filter of Lifetime Experiences

• Accumulation of knowledge, values, expectations, and

attitudes based on prior personal experiences.

• The more shared experiences, the easier communication is.

Emotional Hijacking

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

• Understanding and managing emotions to serve goals.

• Empathizing and effectively handling relationships with

others.

• Single best predictor of workplace performance.

Emotional Hijacking

• A situation in which emotions control our behavior

causing us to react without thinking.

Figure 2.3

Emotional

Hijacking

Access the text alternative for slide images.

Domains of Emotional Intelligence

Self-awareness Self-management

Empathy Relationship

management

Self-Awareness

• The foundation for emotional intelligence.

• Involves accurately understanding your emotions as they

occur and how they affect you.

• Particularly important for stressful and unpleasant

situations.

• Triggers.

Table 2.1 Low versus High Self-Awareness Thoughts 1

Low Self-

Awareness

Thoughts

Jeff: Latisha needs to learn

how to trust people. She’s

not being fair to me and she

needs to understand the

constraints I’m facing.

Jeff ignores and deflects

his feelings to focus on

what he perceives as

Latisha’s misperceptions.

High Self-

Awareness

Thoughts

Jeff: I’m bothered that she

doesn’t trust my motives.

Typically, I feel disrespected

when others don’t trust my

motives. Sometimes, I lash

out in these circumstances.

Jeff recognizes that he

feels distrusted and

disrespected by what

Latisha said. He also

recognizes that he often

says things he later

regrets in these

situations.

Table 2.1 Low versus High Self-Awareness Thoughts 2

Low Self-

Awareness

Thoughts

Latisha: This is ridiculous.

Jeff promised me that I’d be

working on family-friendly

HR policies. How can he go

back on his word so

quickly?

Latisha overreacts to

Jeff’s words and actions

because she is not

aware of how past

disappointments are

affecting how she is

judging Jeff.

High Self-

Awareness

Thoughts

Latisha: I feel afraid and

confused. Jeff doesn’t seem

to care if I have challenging

work. I’ve felt this way

before at other jobs. I

wonder how my past

experiences are impacting

how I’m judging Jeff.

Latisha notices that how

she feels about Jeff is

affected by previous,

similar events. She

knows she should be

careful not to let those

events make her rush to

judgment.

Table 2.2 Emotional Intelligence Dimensions, Related

Impacts on Interpersonal Communication, and

Strategies for Improvement 1

EQ Dimension Impact on Interpersonal Communication

Self-awareness Low self-awareness

Unaware of own emotional states and related impacts on

communication.

Unaware of triggers that lead to emotional hijacking and

making judgmental, rash, or unfair comments.

Unaware of strengths and weaknesses of own

communication abilities.

High self-awareness

Aware of own emotional states and related impacts on

communication.

Aware of triggers and related tendencies to say the wrong

thing.

Aware of strongest communication skills.

Table 2.2 Emotional Intelligence Dimensions, Related

Impacts on Interpersonal Communication, and

Strategies for Improvement 2

EQ Dimension Impact on Interpersonal Communication

Self-management Low self-management

Unable to control impulses.

Frequently vent frustrations without a constructive work purpose.

Spend a higher percentage of work conversations on small talk,

gossip, and non-work-related issues.

React defensively and with a me-first attitude when threats are

perceived.

High self-management

Control emotional impulses that are not aligned with work and

relationship goals.

Discuss frustrations in the context of solving problems and improving

relationships.

Spend a higher percentage of work conversations on work-related

topics with a focus on solutions.

When threats are perceived, seek to de-escalate interpersonal

tensions and resolve issues at hand.

Table 2.2 Emotional Intelligence Dimensions, Related

Impacts on Interpersonal Communication, and

Strategies for Improvement 3

EQ Dimension Impact on Interpersonal Communication

Empathy Low empathy

Fail to listen carefully to others.

Direct conversations to topics that are important to self.

Avoid volunteering to help others with their work assignments.

Engage in a me-first approach to work with colleagues.

High empathy

Attempt to understand the feelings, perspectives, and needs

of others.

Direct conversations to topics that focus on the needs of

others and self.

Volunteer advice or help to others as appropriate.

Show a sincere interest in others: their efforts, their ideas, and

their successes.

Table 2.2 Emotional Intelligence Dimensions, Related

Impacts on Interpersonal Communication, and

Strategies for Improvement 4

EQ Dimension Impact on Interpersonal Communication

Relationship

management

Low relationship management

Focus exclusively on the task at hand without paying attention to

rapport-building.

Remain silent to avoid discussions about differences of opinions, or

attempt to silence the dissenting opinions of others.

Provide indirect and vague feedback and ideas to others.

Disregard feedback and constructive criticism.

Discourage dissent.

Respond to others only when it’s convenient.

High relationship management

Build rapport with others to focus on collaboration.

Speak out constructively about differences of opinion.

Provide direct and constructive feedback to others.

Accept and even welcome feedback and constructive criticism.

Encourage contrarian views.

Respond to others when it’s convenient for them.

Self-Management

What Is Self-Management?

• Ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible

and to direct your behavior positively.

• Involves the discipline to hold off on current urges to meet

long-term intentions.

• Involves responding productively and creatively to

negative feelings.

• Mitigating information.

Table 2.3 Low versus High Self-Management Thoughts

and the Use of Mitigating Information 1

Low Self-

Management

Thoughts

Jeff: If Latisha is going to

treat me like I’m the bad

guy, then maybe I should

just turn her over to

someone else so I don’t

have to worry about her.

Jeff assumes the worst

about Latisha’s comments,

thus allowing his frustration

with her to grow. He

considers an action that is

extreme.

High Self-

Management

Thoughts

Jeff: Latisha is probably

reacting this way because

she cares so much about

family-friendly policies,

which helps the

employees of this

company. She is eager to

contribute.

Jeff assumes a positive

explanation for Latisha’s

actions (mitigating

information), thus short-

circuiting his feelings from

frustration and perhaps

moderating anger.

Table 2.3 Low versus High Self-Management Thoughts

and the Use of Mitigating Information 2

Low Self-

Management

Thoughts

Latisha: There’s no way I can

change anything. Jeff will assign

me to another project and that’s

that. I’m stuck in another dead-

end internship.

This thought process reflects

pessimism. Latisha neither

thinks of other options

available to her for working on

parental leave policies nor

assumes that other work tasks

will provide her with rewarding

challenges.

High Self-

Management

Thoughts

Latisha: I want to express to Jeff my

desire to work on a meaningful

project. We can discuss how my

approach to employee-friendly

policies and quality-of-life issues

could be applied to another project.

And we could discuss how I can still

spend some time working on better

parental leave policies in a way that

does not require cash commitments

during this budget crunch.

This thought process reflects

optimism. Latisha considers

how she can approach Jeff

and constructively discuss

options that are good for her

and the company.

Empathy

Developing Empathy

• Empathy is the “ability to accurately pick up on emotions

in other people and understand what is really going on

with them.”

• Listening.

• Sight-reading nonverbal communication.

Table 2.4

Most

Important

Skills for

Managers

Skills Category

1. Oral communication Communication

2. Listening skills Communication

3. Adaptability Teamwork

4. Written communication Communication

5. Presentation skills Communication

6. Value opinions of others Teamwork

7. Integrity Leadership

8. Follow a leader Teamwork

9. Drive Leadership

10. Cross-cultural sensitivity Teamwork

11. Quantitative analysis Technical

12. Qualitative analysis Technical

13. Innovation and creativity Leadership

14. Core business knowledge Technical

15. Ability to inspire others Leadership

Source: Graduate Management Admission Council. (2017). Corporate recruiters survey report 2017. Reston, VA: GMAC

Active Listening

What Is Active Listening?

• “A person’s willingness and ability to hear and understand.”

Active Listening Components

• Paying attention.

• Holding judgment.

• Reflecting.

• Clarifying.

• Summarizing.

• Sharing.

Active Listening 1

Paying Attention

• Involves devoting your whole attention to others and

allowing them enough comfort and time to express

themselves completely.

• As others speak to you, try to understand everything they

say from their perspective.

• Requires active nonverbal communication.

Active Listening 2

Holding Judgment

• People will share their ideas and feelings with you only if

they feel safe.

• Particularly important in tense and emotionally charged

situations.

• Demonstrate a learner mind-set rather than a judger

mind-set.

Holding Judgment 1

Learner Mind-Set

• You show eagerness to hear others’ ideas and

perspectives and listen with an open mind.

• You do not have your mind made up before listening fully.

Holding Judgment 2

Judger Mind-Set

• People have their minds made up before listening

carefully to others’ ideas, perspective, and experiences.

• Judgers view disagreement rigidly, with little possibility of

finding common ground.

Holding Judgment 3

Learner Statements

• Be willing to hear different opinions.

Judger Statements

• Closed off to hearing people out.

• Shut down honest conversations.

Table 2.5 Judger Statements vs. Learner

Statements 1

Judger

Statements

Lisa: You’re basing your

conclusions on just a few

people you’ve talked to. Why

aren’t you concerned about

finding out more about the

costs?

This statement implies Jeff is not

concerned about costs and isn’t

open to learning more. This will

likely lead to defensiveness.

Learner

Statements

Lisa: I don’t know much

about continuous feedback

systems. What have you

learned from the people

you’ve talked to?

This statement is neutral and

shows a desire to learn about

Jeff’s experiences and thoughts.

This positions Lisa well to ask

tough questions later on in a

constructive manner.

Table 2.5 Judger Statements vs. Learner

Statements 2

Judger

Statements

Jeff: I spend a lot of time talking to

HR directors and know which ones

are best at helping their employees

stay engaged and productive. Don’t

you think HR professionals would

know more about this than people

with a finance background?

This statement begins

with an I’m right, you’re

wrong message. It

directly calls into question

the competence of the

listener. Many listeners

would become defensive.

Learner

Statements

Jeff: I’ve learned several things

from HR directors about continuous

feedback systems….I need to learn

more about the financial

implications. Based on what I’ve

told you, what are your thoughts

about the cost-effectiveness?

This statement reflects a

learning stance and

shows a cooperative

approach moving

forward.

Reflecting

Thinking about the ideas and emotions of others.

To make sure you really understand others, you

should frequently paraphrase what you’re hearing.

Table 2.6 Reflecting Statements

Types of Effective

Reflecting

Statements

Examples

It sounds to me like… Lisa: It sounds to me like you think we should replace

annual performance reviews with continuous

performance reviews because continuous reviews

improve employee performance and morale.

So, you’re not happy

with…

Jeff: So, you’re not happy with this transition unless we

carefully evaluate all of the costs, is that right?

Is it fair to say that you

think…

Lisa: Is it fair to say that you think we should make this

change even if we don’t know all the costs?

Let me make sure I

understand…

Jeff: Let me make sure I understand your view. Are you

saying that we can understand the costs better by…?

Clarifying

Making sure you have a clear understanding of what

others mean.

Double-checking that you understand the

perspectives of others and asking them to elaborate

and qualify their thoughts.

Table 2.7 Clarifying Statements

Types of Effective

Clarifying

Statements

Example

What are your

thoughts on…?

Lisa: What are your thoughts on considering other ways of

conducting annual reviews more effectively?

Could you repeat

that?

Jeff: Could you repeat what you just said about evaluating

the costs of continuous reviews?

I’m not sure I

understand…

Lisa: I’m not sure I understand why the problems with our

current annual review process mean that we should move

away from annual reviews. Do you know of companies that

are using annual reviews more effectively than we are?

Could you explain

how…?

Jeff: Could you explain how you would calculate the costs

of a continuous review system?

What might be your

role in…?

Lisa: What roles will Steve and Lisa have in helping us

understand what employees think of the current review

process?

Summarizing and Sharing

Summarizing

• Restate major themes so that you can make sense of the

big issues from the perspective of the other person.

• Active listening also involves sharing your own

perspectives and feelings.

Table 2.8 Summarizing Statements

Types of Effective

Summarizing

Statements

Example

So, your main

concern is…

Jeff: So, your two main concerns are that moving to a

continuous review process will be costly and impractical.

The software and time needed in the process will cost far

more than what we invest in an annual review process.

Also, it may be difficult to get all employees to participate

often in this process. Is that right?

It sounds like your

key points are…

Lisa: It sounds like you have a few key points. Continuous

feedback systems improve morale and performance at

each of the companies you’ve learned about. Also, your

contacts at these companies think evaluating the costs of

the software is easy, but evaluating the costs of time

invested by employees is not possible. Is that correct?

Recognizing Barriers to Effective

Listening

Barriers

• Lack of time.

• Lack of patience and attention span.

• Image of leadership.

• Communication technology.

• Fear of bad news or uncomfortable information.

• Defending.

• Me too statements.

• Giving advice.

Figure 2.4 Defensive and Nondefensive

Replies

Original Statement:

I spend a lot of time talking to HR directors and know which ones are best at helping their employees stay engaged and productive. Don’t you think HR professionals would know more about this than people with a finance background?

What the Listener Hears (Decodes): You don’t know what you’re talking about.

The Defensive Reply (Judgmental Stance): Actually, I know a lot about how performance review systems affect employees. In fact, I’m in a far better position to evaluate whether new systems make financial sense.

The Nondefensive Reply (Learning Stance):

I think you’re right that we need to pay attention to what other HR directors have learned. Have they told you about the costs of these performance review systems?

I want to know how we can determine the costs of transitioning to a continuous review system. What have you learned from HR directors you know about evaluating these costs?

Asking the Right Questions

A crucial skill is the ability to ask the right questions.

Good questions reflect the learner mind-set, and

poor questions reflect a judger mind-set.

Table 2.9 Questions That Reflect the

Judger Mind-Set and the Learner Mind-Set

Judger Mind-Set Learner Mind-Set

How come this doesn’t work? How is this useful or beneficial?

Who is responsible for this mess? What can we do about this?

Why can’t you get it right? Going forward, what can we learn

from this?

Can’t you try a better approach? What are you trying to accomplish?

Why don’t you focus on helping

customers?

How will customers react?

Are you sure this approach will

really meet your goals and

objectives?

How well does this approach meet

your goals and objectives?

Table 2.10 Types of Effective Questions 1

Types of

Questions Examples

Rapport-

building

• How was your trip to the human resources

conference?

• What did you learn about at the last Chamber of

Commerce event?

These questions, when asked sincerely, provide an

opportunity for asker and listener to bond through

understanding one another. They also break the ice for a

substantive conversation about the business issues at

hand.

Table 2.10 Types of Effective Questions 2

Types of

Questions Examples

Funnel • So, how do you think we should go about researching what our employees think about performance reviews?

• How do you think we can capture the employees’

perspectives about continuous review systems?

• What types of survey questions will help us understand their

thoughts about continuous review systems?

• Could you give me a word-by-word example of how you’d

capture that in a survey question?

These questions progressively break down a problem into

manageable pieces, starting with a large, open-ended question

and moving to increasingly specific and tactical questions. Once

broken into smaller pieces, the asker and listener are more likely

to achieve shared meaning and move toward finding solutions.

Table 2.10 Types of Effective Questions 3

Types of

Questions Examples

Probing • How often do you receive complaints about the annual performance review process?

• What concerns do supervisors have?

• What ideas do employees have for making the review

process fairer?

• Do you ever hear supervisors or employees talk about how to

make the process more goal-oriented?

• Other than the frequency of reviews, what are some other

explanations for why employees make these complaints?

These iterations of questions about the causes, consequences,

and scope of group guest complaints attempt to look at the

problem from every angle. This approach is effective at

identifying root causes and best solutions.

Table 2.10 Types of Effective Questions 4

Types of

Questions Examples

Solution-

oriented

• How can we find out which software vendors offer the

most attractive performance review features?

• What are your ideas for ensuring that employees

provide continuous feedback to one another?

• What are some best practices in making performance

reviews candid and honest, yet also rewarding and

productive?

These questions form the basis for identifying options

about how to move forward. Ideally, solution-oriented

questions are open, we-oriented, and offer help to others.

Table 2.11 Types of Counterproductive

Questions 1

Types of

Questions Examples

Leading • Would you agree that employee engagement and

productivity should be our priorities?

• I’m sure you think it’s a good idea to keep costs under

control, right?

These questions are meant to lead the listener to agree

with or adopt the perspective of the asker. Many listeners

will resent feeling pressured into the views of others.

Also, this approach will not lead to a learning

conversation.

Table 2.11 Types of Counterproductive

Questions 2

Types of

Questions Examples

Disguised

Statements

• Why do you insist on focusing on costs instead of

benefits?

• Don’t you think you’re jumping to conclusions by paying

attention to the opinions of only a few of your close

contacts?

These are not real questions. They are statements that

say you are close-minded on this issue. This flaw-finding

approach will cause many listeners to become defensive

and/or avoid sharing their real thoughts. Many listeners

will view disguised statements as underhanded and

manipulative, since they are often attempts to get the

listeners to acknowledge their own faults.

Table 2.11 Types of Counterproductive

Questions 3

Types of

Questions Examples

Cross-

examination

• Just now, you said annual reviews don’t work because

they don’t happen often enough. Yet, last week, you

said the real reason our annual reviews fail is not

because of how often they occur, but because they

don’t involve setting goals. So, what’s the real reason

annual reviews don’t work?

This cross-examination question will put most listeners on

the defensive. It may score points for the asker, but it will

move the conversation away from learning and toward a

battle of messages.

Perspective-Getting and Note-Taking

Approach

• In the body of your notes, write their comments and

points of view.

• In the margins of your notes, write your reactions, your

ideas, and your questions.

• Document shortly after the end of your conversation.

Avoiding the Traps of Empathy

Givers

• Frequently help others out in the workplace, sometimes at

the expense of their individual performance.

• Three potential barriers to performance associated with

empathy:

• Timidity.

• Availability.

• Emotional concern for others.

Sight-Reading Nonverbal Communication

and Building Rapport

Learning to Sight-Read

• Consciously practice each day.

• Pay attention to congruence.

• Sight-read in clusters, not in isolation.

• Sight-read in context.

Nonverbal Signals

Eyes

Smiles and Nods

Hands and Arms

Touch

Left: Caia Images/Glow Images ; Right: Image Source/Getty Images

Relationship Management

• Using your awareness of emotions and those of others to

manage interactions successfully.

• Adapting communication to the preferred styles of others

and ensuring civility in the workplace.

Differences in Communication

Preferences Based on Motivational Values

Relationship Awareness Theory

• Nurturing (identified as blue in this model).

• Directing (identified as red).

• Autonomizing (identified as green).

Motivational Value System (MVS)

• Blend of these primary motives and refers to the

frequency with which these values guide their actions.

Motivational Value Systems 1

Blue MVS

• Most often guided by motives to protect others, help

others grow, and act in the best interests of others.

Red MVS

• Most often guided by concerns about organizing people,

time, money, and other resources to accomplish results.

Motivational Value Systems 2

Green MVS

• Most often concerned about making sure business

activities have been thought out carefully and the right

processes are put into place to accomplish things.

Hubs

• Professionals who are guided almost equally by all

three of these MVSs.

Table 2.12 Motivational Value Systems 1

Blues (Altruistic and Nurturing) blank

Primary concerns Protection, growth, and welfare of others

Preferred work environment Open, friendly, helpful, considerate; being needed and

appreciated; ensuring others reach their potential

People feel best when… Helping others in a way that benefits them

People feel most rewarded when… Being a warm and friendly person who is deserving of

appreciation for giving help

People want to avoid being

perceived as…

Selfish, cold, unfeeling

Triggers of conflict When others compete and take advantage; are cold

and unfriendly; are slow to recognize helpful efforts on

their behalf

Overdone strengths Trusting, gullible; devoted, subservient; caring,

submissive

Table 2.12 Motivational Value Systems 2

Reds (Assertive and Directing) blank

Primary concerns Task accomplishment; use of time, money, and any

other resources to achieve desired results

Preferred work environment Fast-moving, competitive, creative, progressive,

innovative, verbally stimulating; potential for personal

advancement and development

People feel best when… Providing leadership and direction to others

People feel most rewarded

when…

Acting with strength and ambition, achieving excellence,

and leading and directing others

People want to avoid being

perceived as…

Gullible, indecisive, unable to act

Triggers of conflict When others are too forgiving and don’t fight back; don’t

provide clear expectations about rewards

Overdone strengths Confident, arrogant; persuasive, abrasive; competitive,

combative

Table 2.12 Motivational Value Systems 3

Greens (Analytical and Autonomizing) blank

Primary concerns Assurance that things have been properly thought out;

meaningful order being established; self-reliance and self-

dependence

Preferred work environment Clarity, logic, precision, efficiency, organization; focus on

self-reliance and effective use of resources; time to explore

options

People feel best when… Pursuing their own interests without needing to rely on

others

People feel most rewarded

when…

Working with others in a fair, clear, logical, and rational

manner

People want to avoid being

perceived as…

Overly emotional, exploitive of others

Triggers of conflict When others don’t take issues seriously; push their help on

them; do not weigh all the facts when making a decision

Overdone strengths Fair, unfeeling; analytical, nit-picking; methodical, rigid

Table 2.12 Motivational Value Systems 4

Hubs (Flexible and Cohering)

Primary concerns Flexibility; welfare of the group; sense of belonging in the

group

Preferred work

environment

Friendly, flexible, social, fun; consensus-building; encouraging

interaction

People feel best when… Coordinating efforts with others in a common undertaking

People feel most rewarded

when…

Being a good team member who can be loyal, direct when

necessary, and knows when to follow rules

People want to avoid being

perceived as…

Subservient to others, domineering, isolated

Triggers of conflict When others are not willing to consider alternatives; insist on

one way of doing things; restrict ability to stay flexible and

open to options

Overdone strengths Flexible, wishy-washy; option-oriented, indecisive; tolerant,

uncaring

Table 2.13 Words and Phrases that Resonate with

Professionals of Various MVSs

MVS Verbs Nouns Modifiers Phrases

Blues Feel, appreciate, care, help, thank,

include, support

Satisfaction, well-

being, people,

cooperation

Thoughtful, loyal,

sincere, respectful,

maybe

Serve everyone’s best

interests, look out for

everyone

Reds Compete, win, lead, challenge,

dominate

Achievement, results,

success, performance,

goals, advantage

Challenging,

rewarding, passionate,

definitely, quickly

Make it happen, take

charge, go for it

Greens Think, analyze, evaluate, identify,

organize

Process, principles,

standard, schedules,

accountability, details

Fair, careful, accurate,

objective, correct,

efficient, risky

Take our time, get it

right, make sure it’s

fair

Hubs Brainstorm, decide together,

play, experiment,

meet

Options, flexibility,

teamwork, fun,

consensus,

compromise

Balanced, open,

flexible, friendly,

inclusive, committed

Let’s work together,

let’s try this out

Figure 2.5 A Conversation between a Hub and a Green

Access the text alternative for slide images.

Figure 2.6 A Conversation between a Red and a Blue

Access the text alternative for slide images.

Differences in Communication Preferences

Based on Extroversion-Introversion

Introverts

• Tend to get much of their stimulation and energy from

their own thoughts, feelings, and moods.

Extroverts

• Tend to get much of their stimulation and energy from

external sources such as social interaction.

Table 2.14 Strengths of Introverted and

Extroverted Professionals 1

Strengths of Introverted Professionals

Asking thoughtful and important questions

Listening to the ideas of others

Giving people space to innovate

Developing insights to deal with uncertain situations

Improving the listening environment in meetings

Networking among close-knit professional groups

Making lasting impressions in social tasks that require persistence

Taking time to reflect carefully

Providing objective analysis and advice

Excelling in situations requiring discipline

Table 2.14 Strengths of Introverted and

Extroverted Professionals 2

Strengths of Extroverted Professionals

Stating views directly and charismatically

Gaining the support of others

Organizing people to innovate

Inspiring confidence in uncertain situations

Driving important conversations at meetings

Networking at large social events with potential clients and other

contacts

Making strong first impressions that often lead to future partnerships

Acting quickly to gain advantages

Acting pragmatically in the absence of reliable information

Excelling in competitive situations

Table 2.15 Working Effectively with

Introverts and Extroverts 1

Introverts can work more effectively with extroverts by …

• Making sure their extroverted colleagues have enough time to

interact with team members.

• Engaging in small talk and light topics during conversations.

• Speaking up more quickly than feels natural.

• Offering personal information more often.

• Expressing their preference to respond to questions later on.

• Giving them more opportunities to interact with others.

• Shortening their emails.

• Telling people they’re shy or uncomfortable speaking up; requesting

that others ask or call on them to speak up.

• Appreciating extroverts for their many strengths.

• Teaming up with extroverts to complement one another’s strengths.

Table 2.15 Working Effectively with

Introverts and Extroverts 2

Extroverts can work more effectively with introverts by …

• Making sure their introverted colleagues have enough time to

prepare for presentations or meetings.

• Allowing conversations to have fewer and more in-depth topics.

• Pausing more often and allowing longer periods of silence.

• Spending less time talking about personal interests.

• Expressing their preference to discuss things immediately.

• Giving them more opportunities to be alone and recharge.

• Lengthening their emails.

• Telling people they have a hard time not sharing their views;

requesting that others signal them when they’re talking too much.

• Appreciating introverts for their many strengths.

• Teaming up with introverts to complement one another’s strengths.

Maintaining Civility and Avoiding

Gossip

Incivility in Society and the Workplace

• A recent survey showed that incivility is common in the

workplace.

• Especially common in retail stores.

• Many employees who are targets of incivility lose work

time or leave their jobs.

Common Types of Incivility in the

Workplace

Ignoring others

Treating others without courtesy

Disrespecting the efforts of others

Disrespecting the privacy of others

Disrespecting the dignity and worth of others

Maintaining Civil Communications

1. Slow down and be present in life.

2. Listen to the voice of empathy.

3. Keep a positive attitude.

4. Respect others and grant them plenty of validation.

5. Disagree graciously and refrain from arguing.

6. Get to know people around you.

7. Pay attention to small things.

8. Ask, don’t tell.

Because learning changes everything. ®

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Business Communication: Developing Leaders for a Networked World, 4e

Chapter 2

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