PSYC631 Adolescent Psychology
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CHAPTER 4
Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
JENNIFER A. CONNOLLY AND CAROLINE MCISAAC
A central feature of social development in ado- lescence is the emergence of romantic relation- ships. These relationships strike new ground for young people, representing a heretofore never experienced integration of passion- ate attraction and sexuality into the voluntary and mutual relationships that characterize the world of peers. It is the awakening of sexuality and intense feelings of love that distinguish the adolescent experience from those of the preced- ing childhood years. Although children can direct passionate feelings toward a peer (Carlson & Rose, 2007 ; Hatfield, Schmitz, Cornelius, & Rapson, 1988 ), it is not until the onset of puberty that such feelings become linked to sexual desire and thus channeled toward inter- action with a potential partner. Our descrip- tion of adolescent romance as the initial union of sexuality and passion in a peer relation- ship does not depend on the gender of the partners, applying equally well to same - and opposite - sex pairs (see chapter 14 , vol. 1 of this Handbook ). Regardless of an adolescent ’ s gender, sexual orientation, or cultural back- ground, we consider romantic interactions to be an important learning context and training ground for their future close relationships. Adolescent romantic experiences are the initial steps on a journey toward the loving and com- mitted partner relationships that characterize the adult world.
HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE
We begin our discussion of adolescent roman- tic relationships with a look backward at the
history of “ dating, ” as this social experience is very much linked to the modern world, especially in the industrialized West. For much of history, cross - gendered interactions have been viewed as part of a courtship pro- cess during which a young man and a young woman might get to know one another with the intent of entering into marriage. Courtship partners were selected by the family, based on patterns of kinship or economic advan- tage, and not considered the free choice of the young people themselves (Cate & Lloyd, 1992 ). Parental influence on partner selection began to wane during the time of the Industrial Revolution, when young people were increas- ingly provided with economic opportunities outside of the home. As marriage became less tied to familial and economic considerations, there was a complementary increase in view- ing romantic love as the basis for selecting a lifetime partner. This shift in focus empow- ered adolescents to take a more direct role in the courtship process. Although parents in the Victorian Era supervised the cross - sex interac- tions of their adolescent children and ensured the marriage suitability of their partners, the youth themselves chose whom they courted based on romantic feelings (Cate & Lloyd, 1992 ; Sears, 2008 ).
Youth - directed courtship accelerated dur- ing the early decades of the twentieth century when dating emerged as an important social activity of the adolescent and young adulthood years (Bailey, 1988 ). During this period of his- tory, dating referred to the social appointments
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Handbook of Adolescent Psychology, edited by Richard M. Lerner and Laurence Steinberg.
Copyright # 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Defining Romantic Relationships in Adolescence 105
that one kept with a person of romantic and sexual interest, for example, attending a dance or going to the movies. These dates took place outside of the family home, meaning that the formal restrictions imposed by parental supervision were replaced by the relatively less constrained mores of the community. Scholars have attributed the historical emergence of dating to the prevailing social and intellectual trends of the time (Bailey, 1988 ; Murstein, 1974 ). The first of these trends was the iden- tification of adolescence as a distinct period of development. G. Stanley Hall, who has been credited with this theoretical advancement, conceptualized adolescence as the period of delay between the onset of reproductive capacity and its actual activation, highlighting the important role of cross - gender socializa- tion in bridging this gap (Arnett, 2006 ; Sears, 2008 ). The second of these social trends was the introduction of compulsory secondary education. Extending the years of schooling to the end of the adolescent period effectively brought young people into extended contact with a wide variety of potential dating partners from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds. The third trend was the rise of a popular teenage culture, communicated via radio, magazines, and then television, which led to the creation of a shared set of rules that promoted dating and romance. Finally, the emergence of dat- ing as an important social phenomenon was supported by the shift from rural to urban liv- ing and the widespread use of the automobile, both of which made dating in a community context generally more accessible to a wider group of adolescents. Yet despite the changing social landscape and the increasing acceptabil- ity of dating, romantic activities in the early to mid - twentieth century were nonetheless court- ship based and expected to result in marriage (Bailey, 1988 ).
The detachment of dating from courtship, or the understanding that adolescent roman- tic relationships may be temporary and occur without the expectation of marriage, can be traced back to the latter half of the twentieth
century (Fields, 2003 ; Sears, 2008 ). This con- ceptual shift may be attributed to the social and political climate of America during the 1960s and 1970s. The feminist movement and the sexual revolution, coupled with scientific advancements in reproductive contraception, empowered both girls and boys to become more active participants in dating , as opposed to courtship. Alongside the increasing num- bers of young people choosing to pursue post- secondary education, these significant societal trends delayed the age at which most young people entered into marriage as well as gave pause to a number of youth as to whether or not they would even make such a formal com- mitment. The social landmarks of the 1960s and 1970s paved the way for the currently held view that adolescents in the industrial- ized West are “ free agents ” when it comes to their romantic relationships. Although parents may set guidelines and age restrictions around the dating activities of their children, today ’ s adolescents are generally at liberty to choose their partners and move in and out of dating relationships at will. This altered mind - set has given adolescents an extended period of time in which experimentation is possible, thus stimulating the functional value of romantic relationships for individual development. As such, rather than the fulfillment of familial, economic, or societal contracts, contemporary romantic relationships are increasingly avail- able to adolescents as a context for the mas- tery of psychosocial tasks and the achievement of social and emotional well - being (Furman, Brown, & Feiring, 1999 ).
DEFINING ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS IN ADOLESCENCE
A special challenge for contemporary research- ers is to operationalize the phenomenon of ado- lescent romance in a way that corresponds to youth ’s actual experiences and to use language that is consistent with their understanding of romantic relationships (Furman & Shaffer, 2003 ). Most researchers use terms such as
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106 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
boyfriend/girlfriend or romantic relationship when soliciting information from adolescents about whether or not they are part of a couple. One may question the salience of these terms to adolescents since the language they them- selves use to describe their romantic partner status is often colloquial and linked to an ever - changing popular culture. While arguments can be made in favor of using more everyday language, in order to better connect with ado- lescents, there is a risk to this practice in that teen language is highly localized to a com- munity context. Using specific forms of slang terminology would likely hinder the general- izability of findings across studies. Hence, we support the use of language that has a common understanding across sectors of a community, even though these terms may not be the ones used by youth themselves when talking about their romantic relationships. Our preference is for the use of the term boyfriend or girlfriend to identify adolescents ’ romantic relationship status, that is, whether or not they have experi- enced a current or past romantic relationship.
Relationships Versus Activities
In addition to clearly establishing an adoles- cent ’ s romantic status, an equally important def- initional challenge is distinguishing between romantic activities and romantic relationships. Sometimes these activities, such as going to movies, restaurants or other venues, are solely couple based. Other times, a couple ’ s romantic activities happen in a broader social context, such as when they spend time with other romantic pairs or with their peer group. Further complicating the distinction between romantic activities and relationships, many adolescents without a boyfriend or girlfriend participate in cross - gender group activities with other teens to whom they are romanti- cally attracted. Romantic activities of this nature are important for researchers to take note of because they can be the prelude to for- malizing a romantic relationship. We believe that it is important to separate activities from relationships when the research goal is to
identify the romantic status of a young person. If researchers ask about a specific romantic or dating activity with the intention of gather- ing information about romantic status, there may be less reliable information from youth because a positive response could be provided by adolescents both with and without a partner. In this chapter, we refer to romantic relation- ship status when the focus is on the connec- tion between the two partners, and dating or romantic activities when the focus is on the content of their interactions. We refer to dat- ing when the focus is on the activities and the status is less certain.
Sexual activities may also occur in both romantic and nonromantic relationships and researchers need to be mindful of this possibility when asking about romantic experiences. Recent research suggests that a significant minority of teens have had sex with someone other than their current boyfriend or girlfriend. About half of the time, this occurs as a single encoun- ter with an acquaintance or a former romantic partner. Adolescents refer to these “ one - time ” experiences as “ hook - ups ” (Furman & Shaffer, 2003 ; Manning, Giordano, & Longmore, 2006 ) and, given their short - term duration, these interactions are unlikely to be confused with a romantic relationship. That being said, friends with benefits (FWBs), a term that adolescents use to denote an ongoing sexual relationship with a friend who is not a romantic partner, is a more challenging phenomenon for ado- lescent researchers. These FWB relationships are enduring and have multiple meanings for boys and girls (Hughes, Morrison, & Asada, 2005 ; Puentes, Knox, & Zusman, 2008 ). Many adolescents hope that these relationships will become romantic ones and, for some, it is clear that FWBs have been a route to the formaliza- tion of a romantic relationship (Manning et al., 2006 ). Other adolescent FWBs do not blossom into a stable romantic partnership, and this may be a source of distress for young people, espe- cially girls. Taken as a whole, the complexities surrounding FWBs may motivate some ado- lescents to report a relationship as romantic,
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Prevalence and Patterns of Romantic Relationships 107
even if it is not acknowledged as such by both parties. Researchers need to be mindful of this possibility and use terms in their research that allow adolescents to respond differently to romantic relationships and FWBs.
Platonic Cross - Sex Relationships
When outlining the definitional terrain of ado- lescents ’ romantic relationships, it is important to note that adolescents ’ social experiences also include platonic relationships with cross - sex peers (Bukowski, Sippola, & Hoza, 1999 ; Connolly, Craig, Goldberg, & Pepler, 1999 ; Feiring, 1999a ; Kuttler & La Greca, 2004 ). Platonic relationships are normative during the teenage years and, in fact, a key feature of this life stage is an expansion in the number of cross - sex friends that adolescents report in their social networks (Blyth, Hill, & Thiel, 1982 ; Connolly, Furman, & Konarski, 2000 ; Poulin & Pederson, 2007 ). One may wonder whether young people can indeed separate platonic and romantic relationships. Evidence overwhelmingly suggests that they can and do make this distinction, based on the pres- ence or absence of passion or romantic attrac- tion (Connolly et al., 1999 ; Johnson, 2004 ). Platonic friendships have many important functions for adolescents ’ romantic develop- ment, including insights into the ways of the other gender and access to potential romantic partners. Outlining their contributions, how- ever, is beyond the scope of this chapter.
The definitional distinctions that we have been making are important from a method- ological perspective if we are to be accurate and consistent in our measurement of romantic relationships. Yet, in the real world, there is considerable fluidity in the boundaries between adolescents ’ romantic and nonromantic activi- ties and relationships. For example, cross - sex platonic friendships or FWBs may turn into a romantic relationship at some later point given that the sharing of positive experiences is a common route to feelings of attraction. Social activities can also be fluid and ambiguous in romantic intent. A group outing to a movie
may be experienced by some adolescents as purely platonic, by others as an opportunity to interact with someone they are romantically attracted to, and still by others as a date with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Further compli- cating the picture, adolescents ’ romantic attrac- tions may or may not be reciprocated by the target of their affections. Cross - gender friend- ships, both platonic and “ beneficial ” ones, may be imbued with far more passion and longing by one person than by the other. According to Baumeister and Wotman ( 1992 ), almost all young adults have had at least one experience with unrequited love. Given the nascent char- acter of adolescents ’ romantic relationships, it is not surprising that “ crushes, ” infatuations, and unrequited romance are part of our cul- tural understanding of the teenage experience. How these one - sided romances play into ado- lescents ’ understanding of when they are in or not in a relationship, has yet to be elucidated. Taken as a whole, the fluidity, ambiguity, and uncertainty of romance at this stage in the life cycle creates definitional challenges that need to be kept in mind when studying adolescents ’ romantic relationships.
PREVALENCE AND PATTERNS OF ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
Our documentation of the prevalence of romantic relationships during the teenage years has been greatly aided by data gath- ered as part of the Add Health Longitudinal Survey, which is a large - scale nationally rep- resentative study of youth in the United States. Utilizing the question, “ Have you had a spe- cial romantic relationship with anyone in the past 18 months, ” the Add Health data show that romantic relationships are common during adolescence and that their frequency steadily increases with age (Carver, Joyner, & Udry, 2003 ). Approximately 25% of 12 - year - olds, 50% of 15 - year - olds, and 70% of 18 - year - olds report a romantic relationship in an 18 - month time frame. The Add Health Survey also addresses many of the aforementioned defini- tional challenges by posing important follow - up
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108 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
questions to those adolescents who do not report a positive romantic status. These ques- tions ask noncoupled adolescents about sex- ual behaviors (e.g., holding hands, kissing) and feelings (e.g., liking, loving) that they may have experienced outside the context of a special romantic relationship. Researchers who utilize the Add Health data set label the co - occurrence of these behaviors and feel- ings liked relationships and note that they are reported by approximately 10% of youth (Carver et al., 2003 ). Although some studies combine these “ liked ” relationships with “ spe- cial relationships ” (e.g., Joyner & Udry, 2000 ), we recommend that they be analyzed sepa- rately, given that youth may understand these experiences as quite unique.
Relationship Duration
The Add Health data set also points to the time - limited nature of adolescent romantic relationships, a finding consistent with other research (Carver et al., 2003 ). Youth under the age of 14 years typically report relationships of a few weeks ’ duration, and rarely report durations of longer than 4 months (Carver et al., 2003 ; Connolly & Johnson, 1996 ; Feiring, 1996 ; Shulman & Scharf, 2000 ). Romantic relationships become more enduring with age. Sixteen - year - olds typically report that their relationships last for 6 months, and 18 - year - olds typically report that their relationships endure for 1 year or more. These duration changes may be due to differing capacities for main- taining an intimate relationship, with older adolescents more equipped to sustain dyadic connections than their younger counterparts (Connolly & Johnson, 1996 ). Duration dif- ferences may also relate to challenges track- ing the “ official ” beginnings of relationships, especially in the younger years (Carver et al., 2003 ). The relationships of younger adoles- cents are highly embedded in the peer network (Connolly, Furman, et al., 2000 ), and, as we have noted previously, there is much fluidity between romantic partners and friends. Thus, the shorter durations reported by younger
adolescents may also stem from the fact that they have fuzzier boundaries between romantic and nonromantic relationships than research- ers are inclined to see.
Prevalence of Romantic Dissolutions
In contrast to the substantial database that is now accumulating on the prevalence of roman- tic relationships in adolescence, there is rela- tively little information on the occurrence of romantic dissolutions. Yet the relatively short duration of adolescents ’ relationships strongly suggests that breakups are both common and frequent during this life stage. Barber ( 2006 ), reporting on the Michigan Study of Adolescent Life Transitions, found that more than half of 10th - grade students had experienced a breakup in the last 6 months. Drawing on data from a large Canadian sample, Connolly and McIsaac ( 2008 , in press) also found that relationship ter- minations occur frequently across the adoles- cent years. Paralleling the age - related increase in romantic relationships, these authors found that the number of youth who reported a breakup also increases with age. Whereas less than half of 11 - to 13 - year - olds reported the termination of a romantic relationship, almost all 20 - to 25 - year olds did so. Conversely, the likelihood of reporting a recent breakup (i.e., within the last 12 months) decreased with age. The less frequently occurring romantic dis- solutions of older adolescents likely reflects their increased skill in sustaining a relation- ship, as well as selecting more compatible romantic partners with whom the relationship is more likely to endure. Finally, Connolly and McIsaac ’ s data show that adolescents generally consider themselves to be in control of their relationship terminations, as most youth report that they initiated the breakup, either on their own or jointly with their partner. Adolescents ’ tendency to assume control of the termina- tion process is perhaps central to their recov- ery from the heartache of a romantic breakup. Later, we return to this point, when we con- sider the adjustment impact of romantic rela- tionships on adolescents.
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Prevalence and Patterns of Romantic Relationships 109
Gender and Prevalence
Although boys and girls generally report com- parable frequencies of romantic relationships, there are some notable differences between them. For instance, in early adolescence, more boys than girls report having a cur- rent romantic relationship (Connolly, Craig, Goldberg, & Pepler, 2004 ; Darling, Dowdy, Van Horne, & Caldwell, 1999 ; Longmore, Manning, & Giordano, 2001 ). That being said, those girls who do report a romantic rela- tionship indicate a longer duration than the boys, a pattern that continues across the ado- lescent years (Carver et al., 2003 ; Shulman & Sharf, 2000 ). There is also evidence to suggest that parenting practices differentially influence the romantic experiences of early adolescents. Girls, relative to boys, are more intensely super- vised, and this restricts their participation in romantic activities at this age (Kan, McHale, & Crouter, 2008 ). New patterns of gendered romance take shape in mid - to later adoles- cence. At this stage, girls become more likely than boys to report a romantic relationship (Carver et al., 2003 ; Davies & Windle, 2000 ). Although the reason for this trend is unknown, it is possible that girls ’ relational focus is more able to come to the fore as the suppres- sive effect of parental supervision declines (Feldman & Rosenthal, 1991 ). The pairing of a younger female with an older male partner also becomes the norm during mid - to later adolescence (Carver et al., 2003 ). This pat- tern, which has been extensively documented among adults, continues across the life span and is thought to have its roots in evolutionary pressures for reproductive success (Kenrick, Gabrielidis, Keefe, & Cornelius, 1996 ).
Culture and Prevalence
Descriptive information about adolescents ’ romantic relationships comes almost exclu- sively from North America. Very little is known about the prevalence and patterns of these relationships in non - Western countries, and this is a significant limitation of the field since cultural values likely influence the onset,
frequency, and timing of romantic relation- ships (Coates, 1999 ; Feldman & Rosenthal, 1990 ; 1991 ). As the adolescent experience becomes increasingly globalized, youth of dif- ferent backgrounds connect more and more, underscoring the need for a culturally sensi- tive understanding of romantic relationships during this stage of life (Brown, Larson, & Saraswathi, 2002 ). Research findings may play an important role in facilitating greater toler- ance across cultures by clarifying both the differences and similarities that adolescents experience in their romantic relationships.
Although we have virtually no data that can speak to adolescents ’ romantic experiences outside of the industrialized West, we do have information about the romantic relationships of adolescents from different ethnocultural groups who are living in North America, as well as from other Western countries. Focusing first on the American context, adolescents of Asian descent living in Canada and the United States are significantly less likely to report a romantic partner than are youth of other eth- nic backgrounds (Carver et al., 2003 ; Connolly et al., 2004 ). Although the Add Health data set does not reveal similar levels of nonpar- ticipation for Hispanic youth, other studies suggest that there may be quantitative differ- ences in the timing of romantic experiences between Whites and Latinos. A recent quali- tative study of Latina college women found that these youth recalled a later start to dating due to considerable restrictions placed on them by their parents (Raffaelli, 2005 ). In con- trast, North American adolescents of African and Caribbean descent report similar rates of romantic involvement as Whites (Connolly et al., 2004 ; Giordano, Manning, & Longmore, 2005 ). Black adolescents, however, report more durable relationships than any other eth- nic group residing in North America (Carver et al., 2003 ; Giordano et al., 2005 ).
We also have data about the romantic experiences of youth living in industrialized countries outside of North America. Recent studies of European, Israeli, and Australian
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110 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
2004 ; Dub é & Savin - Williams, 1999 ; Elze, 2002 ; Russell & Consolacion, 2003 ; Williams et al., 2003 ). Furthermore, it appears that sexual - minority youth have as many roman- tic experiences as their heterosexual peers. In a recent study of 16 - year - old adolescents in the Add Health data set, 75% of youth with same - sex attractions reported a romantic rela- tionship within the past 18 months (Russell & Consolacion, 2003 ). Researchers have recently noted that the target of romantic attractions for these youth can be quite fluid because of the emergent process of establishing a sex- ual - minority identity (Diamond, 1998 , 2008 ; Savin - Williams & Ream, 2007 ). Consistent with this emergent status, adolescents with same - sex attractions more often report dating partners of the opposite sex than of the same sex (Russell & Consolacion, 2003 ).
THEORIES OF ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
Having traced the historical roots of adolescent dating and outlined the prevalence of roman- tic involvement during this life stage, we now turn our attention to describing the theories that have been articulated to account for the emer- gence of romantic relationships. Two broad frameworks have guided much of the research on adolescent romantic relationships, namely, attachment theories and development - contextual theories. These theoretical perspectives dif- fer in their relative emphasis on the inner life of the individual or the ecological contexts in which they live as explanatory mechanisms in romantic development. Attachment theories favor an understanding of adolescents ’ inter- nal representations of close relationships and contextual theories concentrate more on the dynamic between individuals and their social contexts. Both theoretical perspectives have a common interest in understanding how ado- lescents accomplish key developmental tasks and rich research findings are accumulating within both traditions. We first outline the positions that these theories have taken with respect to romantic relationship development
youth provide evidence that romantic rela- tionships are common in these regions as well (Menesini & Nocentini, 2008; Shulman & Sharf, 2000 , Zimmer - Gembeck & Petherick, 2006 ). Indeed, there is some indication that European adolescents are more likely to enter into romantic relationships in early adoles- cence than their North American counterparts. Whereas 20% of young adolescents report romantic relationships in North America (Carver et al., 2003 ; Connolly et al., 2004 ), 40% of young adolescents in Germany report having a romantic partner (Seiffge - Krenke, 2006 ). Similarly, 80% of 14 - year - old Israeli youth report some kind of dating experience (Shulman & Scharf, 2000 ), while the com- parable rate among North American youth is closer to 50% (Carver et al., 2003 ). These cul- tural differences seem less apparent in the late adolescent period, as similar romantic status and duration rates are reported by European, Israeli, Australian, and North American youth (Carver et al., 2003 ; Menesini & Nocentini, 2008; Seiffge - Krenke, Shulman, & Klessinger, 2001 ). Considering the aforementioned defi- nitional challenges that accompany the study of adolescent romantic relationships, it is not clear whether these patterns are due to actual differences between the youth in these coun- tries or to differences in the way the terms used to capture adolescent dating and romance are interpreted. Clarity of this issue awaits cross - national studies that employ common terms and methods of inquiry.
Sexual Minority Youth
It is important to acknowledge that the pat- terns of dating and romantic relationships that we have described are for opposite - gender relationships. Yet roughly 5% of ado- lescents report same - sex romantic attractions, or nonheterosexual orientations (Carver et al., 2003 ; Russell & Consolacion, 2003 ; Williams, Connolly, Pepler, & Craig, 2003 ), and there is emerging evidence that these youth participate in romantic relationships during their adoles- cence (Carver et al., 2003 ; Diamond & Lucas,
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Theories of Romantic Relationships 111
in adolescence, then we review the theories of adolescent romance that have been influ- enced by these perspectives, and finally we consider the supporting empirical findings that address important questions from each of these frameworks.
Romantic Attachment Theory
Hazan and Shaver ( 1987 ) were the first to extend the attachment perspective from parent – child interactions to include relationships in the romantic domain. Focusing specifically on adult couples, they argued that mature romantic relationships provide the attachment functions that individuals first experience in a parent – child relationship, namely, safe haven, prox- imity seeking, and secure base. These authors, as well as others (Collins & Sroufe, 1999 ; Furman & Simon, 1999 ; Furman & Wehner, 1994 ), noted that the adolescent period is nor- mally the time when the attachment functions begin to transition from figures in the family to a romantic partner. The transfer of attach- ment figures is thought to be motivated by adolescents ’ emerging sexuality, as well as their increased capacity for experiencing inti- macy with same - aged peers. As in their rela- tionships with parents, adolescents are thought to differ in the style of attachment they display with their romantic partners, be it secure or insecure (Collins & Sroufe, 1999 ; Hazan & Shaver, 1987 ). Securely attached adolescents are comfortable in their relationship and trust that their partner will support them in times of stress. Insecurely attached adolescents are, conversely, uncomfortable in turning to their partners for support. This discomfort may be manifested as an avoidance or withdrawal from the partner, coupled with a general disin- terest in the emotional dimensions of the rela- tionship. Discomfort may also be expressed as a preoccupation with the partner ’ s availability to meet their needs and an anxious overinvest- ment in the emotional dynamics of the relation- ship. Traditionally, these secure and insecure styles have been thought to remain stable as adolescents transition their attachment from
parents to romantic partners (Collins & Sroufe, 1999 ; Hazan & Shaver, 1987 ). More recently, it has been suggested that adolescents ’ roman- tic attachments may not be shaped solely by their prior interactions within the family, but also respond to ongoing experiences with romantic partners (Furman & Simon, 1999 ). Adolescents are thought to integrate present and past experiences with attachment figures to form working models of romantic relation- ships. This transactional process may introduce some degree of instability and change in ado- lescents ’ romantic attachment development.
Development - Contextual Theory of Romantic Relationships
Development - contextual theories shift the lens of inquiry to the interpersonal systems within which adolescents develop and con- sider how these systems contribute to the attainment of multiple developmentally impor- tant tasks. Building on Bronfenbrenner ’ s ( 1979 ) seminal idea of nested ecological con- texts, developmen t- contextual models suggest that romantic relationships are multi layered as they both provide a context for indi- vidual development, and at the same time, they are themselves shaped by dynamics that occur in the micro - and macrosystems within which they are encompassed (Brown, 1999 ; Connolly & Goldberg, 1999 ; Lerner & Simi, 2000 ). Microsystem influences on romantic development include the peer group and the family. Peers are thought to dictate romantic norms and facilitate opportunities for romantic interaction. Families are thought to provide models of intimate connections and regulate the pace at which adolescents become involved in romantic relationships. Macro - systems are much broader in scope. Included in these systems are ethnocultural beliefs about the value of romantic love, appropriate timeta- bles for romantic engagement, and the roles of males and females in a romantic relationship. Community resources such as schools, access to health care, and employment opportunities also contribute to the macro context within
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112 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
which adolescents ’ relationships develop. Contextual models of romantic development ultimately propose that it is the transaction among the systemic and individual levels that leads to the resolution of developmental tasks within this context. These tasks have been broadly conceptualized as those that define how adolescents connect with others, namely intimacy and sexuality, and those that define how adolescents achieve an independent sense of themselves, namely identity and autonomy (Collins & Steinberg, 2006 ). Intimacy is a com- plex construct that entails feelings of warmth and closeness to another person (Camarena, Sarigiani, & Petersen, 1990 ), as well as the behaviors that support these feelings such as affiliation and self - disclosure (Sharabany, Gershoni, & Hoffman, 1981 ). Like intimacy, sexuality also has an affective component, with feelings of passion, desire, and attraction being as central to adolescent romance as the sexual behaviors in which youth may poten- tially engage. Whereas sexuality and intimacy bring the romantic dyad together, identity and autonomy processes support the existence of two distinct individuals within the same rela- tionship. Identity refers to the sense of hav- ing stable and consistent self - attributes, and autonomy refers to the confidence one feels in maintaining a separate identity while relating to close others, and at the same time respecting the unique identity of one ’ s relationship partners (Noom, Dekovic, & Meeus 2001 ; Nurmi, 2004 ).
Impact of Sullivan, Erikson, and Dunphy on Romantic Theories
Although not specifically theories of romantic development, the theories of Sullivan ( 1953 ), Erikson ( 1968 ), and Dunphy ( 1963 ) should be noted, as they have been influential in under- standing romantic relationships. Erikson and Sullivan first oriented the field to the impor- tance of romantic relationships for the mastery of psychosocial tasks, especially intimacy and identity. According to Sullivan ( 1953 ), adoles- cent relationships are profoundly shaped by the emerging need for sexual expression within
the context of a close peer relationship. These latter relationships emerge in the preadoles- cent period and these special “ chumships, ” or dyadic bonds with a same - sex friend, allow for the first expression of intimacy outside of the family. With the onset of puberty, adolescents experience new feelings of sexuality along- side their desire for intimacy with age - mates and they begin to look to romantic partners to fulfill both needs. Thus, from a Sullivanian perspective, romantic relationships represent two distinct developmental milestones: the transition from same - sex to cross - sex intimacy and the integration of intimacy with sexuality. Sullivan suggested that intimacy with a roman- tic partner helps adolescents to come to know and understand themselves, which is the foun- dation for identity.
In contrast to Sullivan ’ s position, Erikson ( 1968 ) did not consider romantic relationships to be central to the adolescent life stage. Instead, in his articulation of the psychosocial stages of development, Erikson positioned romantic relationships in the period of early adulthood. Locating these relationships in this life stage stems from his argument that intimacy devel- opment follows, rather than precedes, identity formation. In Erikson ’ s view, psychosexual identity is the critical achievement of the adoles- cent years, and its resolution supports intimacy in relationships later in the life span. The inter- play between intimacy and identity, expressed in the theories of Erikson and Sullivan, is an important theme in contemporary theories of adolescent romantic relationships.
The work of Dunphy ( 1963 ) first oriented the field to the importance of social context on adolescents ’ romantic development. Dunphy was particularly focused on the peer group, and he argued that the central function of the peer crowd was to solidify adolescents ’ het- erosexual role. Using ethnographic methods, Dunphy studied the clique and crowd stages of peer group formation throughout adolescence. According to Dunphy, mixed - gender peer crowds, which are formed by the coalescence of same - gender cliques, bring adolescent
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Theories of Romantic Relationships 113
boys and girls together in unstructured situa- tions that allow for the possibility of romantic activity. Peer crowds are held together by high - status leaders of both genders whose popularity and prestige is linked to their advanced het- erosocial development. These popular youth lead the way in forging romantic relationships, and they encourage the romantic involvement of their group members. By documenting the changing gender composition and hierarchical structure of adolescent peer groups, Dunphy ’ s work provided a valuable starting point for the investigation of romantic development. His attention to the peer context is considered to be a landmark contribution, and many contempo- rary theories draw on his ideas in their formu- lations of adolescent romance.
Stage Theories of Romantic Development
Theories of adolescent romantic relation- ships, be they attachment or development contextual, must confront the reality that, at any one point in time, many adolescents do not have boyfriends or girlfriends. This fact is made abundantly clear by the Add Health find- ings, which indicate that 65% of 12 - year - olds, 40% of 15 - year - olds, and 18% of 18 - year - olds have not had a romantic relationship within the past 18 months (Carver et al., 2003 ). That being said, it would be erroneous to conclude that the presence or absence of a romantic rela- tionship is the central indicator of romantic development in adolescence. Irrespective of their romantic relationship status, adolescents are known to be preoccupied with roman- tic concerns (Eder, 1993 ) and participate in mixed - sex interactions (Richards, Crowe, Larson, & Swarr, 1998 ). These are important facets of adolescent romance and pose chal- lenges for the simplistic view that romantic development in adolescence is an on/off phe- nomenon. Instead, a more comprehensive view would consider a developmental progres- sion of activities that lead to romantic relation- ships, as well as fluidity in dating patterns and romantic relationships. Modeling these facets
and their interactions is of central concern to theories of romantic development, all of which try to account for the progression of romantic experiences through phases or stages of devel- opment. In accounting for patterns of romantic development, theories also address psychoso- cial tasks as well as the inner processes that influence their development.
Early Stage Theories
Feinstein and Ardon ( 1973 ) outlined one of the first stage theories of romantic development. Focusing largely on dating activities, they used a neo - Freudian theory of object relations to account for the developmental progression that begins with an awakening of sexual inter- est and ends with the adult outcome of invest- ment in a permanent love object. Central to their theory is the notion that forming a roman- tic relationship is part of the stormy process of individuation from parents, which these authors conceptualized as having the ultimate goal of finding an appropriate object for libidi- nal drives. Feinstein and Ardon identified a four - stage model of romantic development, spanning the ages of 13 – 25 years, with each stage specifying particular dating activities that are central to the task of adolescent ego development and identity formation.
Extending this focus on psychosexual development, McCabe ( 1984 ) outlined a theory of dating in which she conceptualized ado- lescent romantic relationships as central to the resolution of a sexual identity. Rather than specific stages, McCabe described an adolescent pathway in which biological and societal influences contribute to the sexual and affectional components of dating involve- ment. These pathways are highly gendered, as McCabe perceived boys to be motivated by sexual goals, and girls to be more oriented to achieving a relationship with a stable partner. The theories of Feinstein and Ardon ( 1973 ) and McCabe ( 1984 ) are important to the field because they move beyond simple descrip- tions of dating activities and try to account for the psychosocial functions of dating and
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114 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
romantic activities. That being said, their ideas were not elaborated upon at the time, per- haps because adolescents ’ romantic relation- ships were not treated with much seriousness by the research community (Collins, 2003 ). Two decades passed before researchers came to see romantic relationships as meaningful contexts that support adolescent development.
Contemporary Stage Theories
In 1994, Furman and Wehner outlined the first contemporary theory of adolescent romantic development. Unlike their predecessors (i.e., Feinstein & Ardon, 1973 ; McCabe, 1984 ), these authors shifted the focus from the reso- lution of identity to intimacy. Furman and Wehner accomplished this intimacy focus by integrating romantic attachment theory with the social needs articulated by Sullivan. In particular, they expanded upon the con- nectedness focus of both perspectives to describe a series of stages that allowed for the full realization of intimate functions, namely, affiliation, attachement, sexuality, and caretaking. Although the majority of these functions had been previously linked to romantic relationships, the affiliative func- tion of adolescent romance had never before been highlighted and is considered to be a novel contribution of Furman and his col- leagues (Furman & Simon, 1999 ; Furman, Simon, Shaffer, & Bouchey, 2002 ; Furman & Wehner 1994 ). Companionship and the shar- ing of pleasurable time with age - mates is the crux of affiliation, and Furman and Wehner extend this central peer function to the romantic domain and articulate its role in the progressive integration of a mature romantic attachment. Proceeding from a stage of simple interchanges between oppo- site - sex peers that is motivated by pubertal maturation, young adolescents quickly move to a stage of casual dating, which fulfills their needs for affiliation as well as sexual- ity. Adolescents then proceed to stable rela- tionships, in which attachment needs emerge
alongside sexuality and affiliation. In late adolescence and early adulthood, the stage of committed relationships emerges as young people are increasingly able to provide care- taking functions to their partner. Furman and Wehner ( 1994 ) use the term behavioral sys- tem to showcase the role of the relationship context, in driving adolescents’ progression through the romantic stages. Their theory is also the first to explicate the potential for developmental continuity between romantic relationships and other relationship systems. Continuity is hypothesized to be carried by views of relationships, both conscious and unconscious, that adolescents form through their interactions and experiences in both present and past relationships with parents, friends, and previous romantic partners.
Brown ( 1999 ), expanding upon Dunphy ’ s ( 1963 ) focus on peer crowds, outlined a devel- opment - contextual theory in which iden- tity, rather than intimacy, is presented as the key psychosocial task that is supported by romantic development. By focusing on iden- tity, Brown ’ s model echoes those of the early romantic stage theorists (i.e., Feinstein & Ardon; 1973 ; McCabe, 1984 ). Brown argues that a central challenge of adolescence is to create an integrated self - image, which includes a representation of the self as a romantic part- ner. The romantic self - image first emerges as a group - based identity, and this component facilitates the adoption of the romantic norms of a peer crowd. Once a group identity has been solidified, a self - based identity compo- nent is able to emerge in which adolescents define their own particular romantic inter- ests as distinct from those of their group. The group and self components of romantic self - image emerge in four developmental stages. Pubertal maturation triggers the first or initia- tion phase, as well as the changes that occur in the gender composition of the peer group. Peers provide norms for romantic relation- ships, censure inappropriate behavior, and safely constrain the initiations and endings of romantic involvements. Brown ’ s second
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Theories of Romantic Relationships 115
stage, termed the status phase , distinguishes his theory from the work of other stage theo- rists. In this phase of romantic development, social status in the peer group is highly linked to having romantic involvements. Reinforcing the formation of a group identity, romantic partners are thought to be selected primarily for their ability to enhance one ’ s social posi- tion in the peer group. Low - status peers are avoided as potential partners, even when an attraction might be present, because of the fear of social rejection. Certain peer crowds, such as the “ populars ” and “ jocks, ” are thought to be especially affected by peer evaluation because membership in these groups is highly linked to romantic expertise. In the affection phase of romantic development, adolescents become more open to the individual expres- sion of affectionate needs and are less tied to group values. Having established a sense of group identity, and having gained confidence in their romantic competencies, adolescents begin to have relationships that enhance the self components of their identity. At the end of adolescence and the start of emerging adult- hood, Brown ’ s theory points to the possibility of the bonding phase of romantic development. Identity needs are fused with those of intimacy at this stage, and young people select partners who complement their personalities and future goals, as well as satisfy their affectional needs.
Connolly and colleagues (Connolly, Craig, Goldberg, & Pepler, 2004 ; Connolly, Furman, & Konarski, 2000 ; Connolly & Goldberg, 1999 ) have also proposed a development - contextual theory of romantic development in which the social – emotional tasks that underlie youth ’s growing participation in romantic relation- ships are articulated. These authors argue that the inner drive to accomplish critical tasks is the impetus toward romantic relationships, and, as such, romantic participation provides a context for adolescents to advance devel- opmentally. The essence of these tasks is the interplay between intimacy and autonomy needs and this dynamic shapes the develop- mental sequencing of dating and romantic
relationships in Connolly ’ s model. Drawing on Sullivan ( 1953 ), the fundamental desire to form intimate connections outside of the family is the primary motivator for romantic relation- ships in adolescence. In this way, the desire for romantic relationships is a component of ado- lescents ’ expanding ways of intimate relating within the peer world. Unique, however, from peers and friendships, romantic relationships are also thought to be motivated by sexual and passionate forms of intimate expression. Connolly and Goldberg ( 1999 ) conceptualized passion as the intense feelings of love and attraction that are at the core of romantic rela- tionships. Passionate feelings catalyze roman- tic interest and spark adolescents ’ desire to participate in romantic relationships. These authors suggest that, in early adolescence, pas- sionate feelings do not have to be acted upon in order for romantic development to begin. In fact, passion, unaccompanied by actual roman- tic contact, is the central property of the first stage of romantic development, termed the infatuation stage . Rather than communicated directly to a partner, these initial infatua- tions are given voice within the peer group as friends share in this emerging interest and sup- port its expression. In the ensuing affiliative stage of romantic development, the supportive role of friends expands to include interactions with potential partners within mixed - gender peer groups. Whereas Furman and Wehner ’ s ( 1994 ) interest is in the affiliative functions of the romantic dyad, and Brown ’ s theory ( 1999 ) is concerned with peer group ’ s provision of a romantic identity, the framework proposed by Connolly and colleagues highlights affiliation among friends, cliques, and crowds as it natu- rally occurs within the peer context. “ Dating in groups ” is thought to provide access to new partners and models of romantic interac- tions, thereby creating a supportive context for exploring romantic involvements. Group dat- ing is important to the development of romantic intimacy as it regulates the pace of involvement and prevents overinvestment in romantic dyads before the skills for negotiating sexuality and
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116 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
intimacy are established. This type of romantic involvement is a normative path that leads to the couple relationships that become the focus of the intimacy stage of romantic development. Rather than being based in a group, these romantic relationships are essentially dyadic, and have a life outside of the peer network. This newfound comfort with romantic partners encourages emotional forms of intimacy based on mutual disclosure and shared trust, both of which are integrated with affiliative and pas- sionate needs. Once adolescents have gained experience with deeper forms of intimacy, the developmental challenge turns to questions of autonomy, as articulated by Connolly and Goldberg ( 1999 ) in the final committed stage of romantic relationships. Maintaining a sep- arate self outside of the relationship, while simultaneously remaining intimate, becomes the central challenge for romantic partners. Extracurricular involvements and nonroman- tic interests are seen as important facets of the individual that need to be maintained outside of the relationship. Unlike other theories in which the importance of the peer group wanes at this stage of development, Connolly and Goldberg ( 1999 ) highlight the continued involved of the peer group as friends facili- tate the negotiation of the intimacy – autonomy dynamic by providing an outlet for these other social interests. Adolescents in the committed stage have an eye on the future and begin to reflect on how the partnership mirrors their own values and future goals, increasingly uti- lizing the romantic relationship as a means of self - discovery and identity formation.
Although each contemporary stage theory makes a distinct contribution, with Furman focused on the intimacy provisions of romantic couples, Brown on the peer status ramifications of partner choice, and Connolly on the devel- opmental functions of the peer context, many consistent themes are evident across these perspectives. The first of these consistencies is the catalyzing role played by pubertal matu- ration and sexual need fulfillment. Second, each theorist connects the development of
romantic relationships to individuation from the family and to increasing connectedness to peers. Third, the need to achieve mature forms of intimacy, attachment, sexuality, identity, and autonomy are seen by theorists as impor- tant developmental motivators of romantic relationships. Fourth, romantic participation is commonly thought to increase an individual ’ s capacity for mature relationships, thus allow- ing for progression to more advanced stages of romance. The final consistency among these theorists is the stage - model framework itself. Furman, Brown, and Connolly all conceptu- alize romantic relationships within a series of developmental stages that progressively move the adolescent along a continuum from nascent longings and initial forays into roman- tic exchanges, to dyadic relationships that are similar to those of adults in their emotional maturity. Capitalizing on the commonalities of these theories, we believe that three stages of romantic development can be articulated. The first of these describes the entry into romantic relationships, the second highlights the exploratory functions of dating, and the third culminates in the consolidation of dyadic relationships. We now turn to a description of these three broad stages, focusing on their characteristics, age ranges, and developmental context, with reference to supporting empirical evidence.
EMPIRICAL SUPPORT FOR THE STAGES OF ROMANTIC DEVELOPMENT
Stage 1: Entry Into Romantic Attractions and Affiliations in Early Adolescence
Empirical data confirm that the first stage of romantic development is triggered by pubertal maturation, both of the individual and of the adolescents in his or her peer group (Dornbusch et al., 1981 ; Friedlander, Connolly, Pepler, & Craig, 2007 ; Graber, Brooks - Gunn, & Warren, 1995 ; Smolak, Levine, & Gralen, 1993 ). During the age range of 11 – 13 years, adolescents
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Empirical Support for the Stages of Romantic Development 117
become intensely interested in matters of romance and evidence suggests that this topic dominates conversations among friends at this stage (Eder, 1993 ). Crushes on individuals and shared infatuations become new ways of join- ing with same - sex friends, even if there is little actual interaction with the loved objects. A majority of adolescents at this age report hav- ing been in love many times, despite limited or even no romantic contact with the object of their affections (Montgomery & Sorell, 1998 ). These findings support the irony highlighted by Connolly and Goldberg ’ s ( 1999 ) infatuation stage in that adolescents ’ developing interest in cross - sex romantic relationships first affects their same - sex friendships before any impact on other - sex relationships is realized. This pubertally mediated interest in romance and love moves adolescents away from the exclu- sively same - sex contexts of childhood and into mixed - gender groups, where there is an opportunity for affiliating with cross - sex peers (Connolly et al., 2004 ; Darling et al., 1999 ; Pellegrini & Long, 2007 ; Poulin & Pedersen, 2007 ; Richards et al., 1998 ). These cross - sex affiliative contacts include diverse social activities, both inside and outside of school time. Movies, sporting events, school dances, and parties are popular at this age, and a recent study suggests that 80% of middle school stu- dents participate in at least some of these activ- ities over the course of a school year (Connolly et al., 2004 ). These activities gently advance romantic development because they bring both genders into social situations in which roman- tic attractions are possible but not obligatory. Despite the motivating role of passionate attraction, however, youth ’s initial cross - gender affiliations may be dictated more by status con- cerns than by personal chemistry. Consistent with Brown ’ s theory ( 1999 ), although perhaps somewhat sooner than he would have predicted, the early adolescent years usher in the guiding function of social status in romantic interac- tions as youth who are popular with their same - sex peers socialize with popular youth of the opposite gender (Bukowski, Sippola,
& Hoza, 1999 ) and also are the first among their peers to start to have romantic relation- ships (Carlson & Rose, 2007 ).
Stage 2: Exploring Romantic Relationships in Middle Adolescence
Two forms of involvement are evident in the second stage of romantic development, roughly spanning the middle adolescent period of 14 – 16 years of age. First, as proposed by Furman and his colleagues (Furman & Simon, 1999 ; Furman & Wehner, 1994 ), casual dat- ing emerges as an important form of roman- tic involvement as dyadic connections arise between pairs of adolescents who are mutually attracted to one another. Casual dating connec- tions are quite short lived, lasting only a few months at best, and often enduring for no more than a few weeks (Feiring, 1996 ; Nieder & Seiffge - Krenke, 2001 ; Seiffge - Krenke, 2003 ). At this stage, many adolescents report having more than one such casual dating relationship over the course of a year (Zimmer - Gembeck, 1999 ). The second form of romantic involve- ment is “ dating in groups, ” which speaks to Connolly and Goldberg ’ s ( 1999 ) notion that many of the casual dyadic relationships that youth develop are themselves embedded in a peer context. Several lines of empirical data confirm the existence of group dating (Connolly, Furman, et al., 2000 ; Kuttler, La Greca, & Prinstein, 1999 ; Nieder & Seiffge - Krenke, 2001 ), essentially describing the phenomenon whereby mixed - gender peer networks become increasingly populated by pairs of teens who have formed a “ special relationship ” with each other. Yet at this time dating activities complement, rather than replace, time spent with same - sex friends because group affilia- tions enable adolescents to maintain these ties (Zimmer - Gembeck, 1999 ). Friends are often the “ brokers ” of dating, serving as third-party facilitators of a potential romantic relationship by conveying their friend ’ s romantic attraction and confirming whether this is reciprocated (Tolman, Spencer, Harmon, Rosen - Reynoso, & Striepe, 2004 ). As predicted by Brown ( 1999 ),
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118 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
romantic participation in middle adoles- cence is heavily linked to social status in the peer group. Adolescents who are members of popular groups more often view them- selves in romantically relevant terms, such as being physically attractive and socially con- nected (Youniss, McLennan, & Strauss, 1994 ). Alongside these self - perceptions, high-status youth are more likely to be involved in dating activities than their lower status classmates (Franzoi, Davis, & Vasquez - Suson, 1994 ). Among these adolescents, the most frequent daters are those whose high status is “ contro- versial, ” meaning that more of their classmates say that they would be unlikely to spend time with them, even though there are many who say that they would be likely to do so. These findings suggest that high school dating and popularity are linked and that this association is not without its costs, as high - status dating can create boundaries between popular adoles- cents and their less romantically active peers.
Stage 3: Consolidating Dyadic Romantic Bonds in Late Adolescence
The final stage of romantic involvement typi- cally occurs at the end of the high school years and concerns the formation of dyadic romantic relationships. The theories of Brown ( 1999 ) and Furman (Furman & Simon, 1999 ; Furman & Wehner, 1994 ) have been par- ticularly linked to this stage of development (Seiffge - Krenke, 2003 ). Consistent with their ideas, consolidated romantic relationships have been shown to be rooted in strong emo- tional bonds, more closely resembling the couple relationships of adulthood than those of younger adolescents. These bonds are stable and enduring, often lasting for 1 year or more (Carver et al., 2003 ; Connolly & Johnson, 1996 ; Seiffge - Krenke, 2003 ). Adolescents describe these relationships as serious, exclu- sive, and highly supportive on an emotional as well as an affiliative level (Connolly & Johnson, 1996 ; Furman & Buhrmester, 1992 ; Seiffge - Krenke, 2003 ; Shulman & Scharf, 2000 ; Zimmer - Gembeck, 1999 ). These qualitative changes in romantic relationships coincide
with adolescents ’ decreasing level of involve- ment in larger peer structures (Kuttler & La Greca, 2004 ). Adolescents in consolidated relationships derive more emotional support from their romantic partners than they do from their friends and also spend more of their lei- sure time with their romantic partner than they do in their friendship networks (Furman & Buhrmester, 1992 ; Zimmer - Gembeck, 1999 ). Yet, as proposed by Connolly and Goldberg ( 1999 ), increasing involvement with a roman- tic partner begins to challenge adolescents ’ need to maintain a separate sense of self. According to Seiffge - Krenke and colleagues ( 2001 ), 17 - year - olds with highly connected romantic relationships simultaneously struggle with questions of self - identity. Thus the chal- lenge of the dyadic bonds stage is to balance intimacy and autonomy within the romantic relationship.
Gender and Romantic Stages
It is of interest to note that boys and girls do not differ much in the trajectories of their romantic experiences (Carver et al., 2003 ; Connolly & McIsaac, 2008 ; Furman & Shaffer, 2003 ). Once the transition from same - sex to mixed - sex social contexts has been made, boys and girls follow very similar pathways to roman- tic relationships. This gender similarity speaks to the strength of romantic staging models, which at their core presuppose that the genders will come together in the same developmental space to jointly embark on the social transition to a romantic relationship (Maccoby, 1998 ). Nonetheless, there may be qualitative differ- ences in the roles adopted by boys and girls at different stages in the developmental trajectory that advance the romantic maturation of both genders. Girls, in the early adolescent years, take the lead in creating the social settings for romantic interests to flourish (Pellegrini & Long, 2007 ). They do this by initiating the cross - gender contacts that eventually lead to the creation of larger mixed - gender peer groups, contexts that are instrumental in the transition to romantic relationships (Connolly et al., 2000 ; Feiring, 1999a ; Poulin & Pedersen, 2007 ). Once
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Empirical Support for the Stages of Romantic Development 119
these mixed - gender groups have been created by the girls, boys then become highly active and take the lead in connecting with girls in more directly romantic ways (Pellegrini & Long, 2007 ). Boys are the ones who initiate “ dates ” with girls — a role that both genders agree is their responsibility (Jackson, Jacob, Landman - Peeters, & Lanting, 2001 ). Once dates have been initiated, girls ’ greater intimacy skills may again put them at an advantage in terms of shap- ing the quality of the relationship. Girls ’ rela- tively greater capacity for self - disclosure and mutual support is reflected by the more intimate relationships that they can sustain with their same - sex friends (Camarena et al., 1990 ; Leaper & Anderson, 1997 ; Rose & Rudolph, 2006 ; Sharabany et al., 1981 ). According to gender socialization theory (Maccoby, 1998 ; Leaper & Anderson, 1997 ), previous experience in same - sex friendships creates a domain of consider- able strength for girls when they transition into romantic relationships, and this expertise likely enables them to shape the emotional tone of the relationship. Indirectly supporting this notion, boys ’ cross - sex relationships are more intimate than their same - sex friendships, whereas girls ’ relationships with same - and cross - sex friends are comparable in terms of intimacy (Sharabany et al., 1981 ).
Intraindividual Differences in Romantic Stages
Stage theories present a picture of roman- tic development in which the changes in the romantic activities that define a particular stage are closely linked to chronological age. This age - based perspective offers a develop- mental view of the normative romantic pro- gression for typical youth, most of the time. However, by focusing on the romantic activi- ties that are shared by members of a particu- lar age range, this perspective may obscure important changes that occur at the individual level. Two intraindividual romantic trajecto- ries warrant discussion. First, an individual adolescent may engage in a varied set of romantic experiences at any one age period.
Although individual adolescents may predom- inantly be involved with the romantic activi- ties that characterize their particular age - based stage, they may also sporadically experiment with forms of romance from different stages. These relatively fluid explorations of other romantic activities may occur simultaneously or cyclically. Connolly and colleagues ( 2004 ) found that, over short periods of time, adoles- cents often cycle between the adjacent stages of mixed - gender affiliation, dating in groups, and dyadic relationships. Some adolescents reported moving from affiliative to group dating, others from group dating to a roman- tic relationship, and still others from a dyadic relationship back to group dating. Although not explored by Connolly and her colleagues ( 2004 ), cycling of romantic activities can also occur within the course of an ongoing relation- ship, and we consider the developmental pro- gression of a specific romantic attraction to be the second source of intraindividual variation. Davies and Windle ( 2000 ) found evidence to support this shift in their 1 - year longitudi- nal study of middle - adolescent romantic rela- tionships. Sixteen - year - olds who participated in an enduring romantic relationship became progressively less embedded in their friend- ships groups over the course of a year, dem- onstrating a shift from peer - to couple - based relationships. Intraindividual changes within a relationship have also been uncovered in a narrative study of sexual - minority youth of African American descent (Eyre, Milbrath, & Peacock, 2007 ). These youth reported a com- mon trajectory in which their romantic rela- tionships emerged out of attractions that were initiated in peer groups and progressively led to more dyadic encounters. Aside from these studies, the extent to which relationships mature and evolve over their life cycle has not been well explored in adolescence.
Interindividual Differences in Romantic Stages
Although the stage distinctions that were out- lined above provide a useful rubric for mapping prototypical developmental patterns, researchers
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120 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
acknowledge that participation in romantic activities can vary among individuals of the same age (Collins, 2003 ). This interindividual variation has been conceptualized in terms of the developmental timing of romantic activity, as well as the type of activity in which adoles- cent daters engage (Welsh, Grello, & Harper, 2003 ). Young adolescents who form romantic partnerships in advance of their age - mates are known as early starters (Neemann, Hubbard, & Masten, 1995 ; Thornton, 1990 ; Zimmer - Gembeck, Siebenbruner, & Collins, 2001 ). On the opposite end of the spectrum, the term late bloomers is often used to describe those young people for whom entry into committed dyadic relationships does not occur until the adult years (Caspi, Elder, & Bem, 1988 ). Early entry into dating and romantic relationships has been the focus of much research, especially among girls, because of the putative risks to psychosocial adjustment associated with this form of off - time involvement. This risk stems from the fact that adolescents who experience transitions at earlier ages are less likely to have acquired the intra - and interper- sonal skills necessary to successfully navigate the psychosocial demands of these contexts. Conversely, there has been almost no explo- ration of late bloomers, even though from the development - contextual perspective of task attainment, this off - time pattern may be equally problematic. We will return to a discussion of the adjustment implications of early or delayed timing in a later section. Here, we consider the evidence that early - and later starting adoles- cents can be distinguished on the basis of indi- vidual, familial, and cultural factors.
Early Starters
As previously discussed, the most typical romantic activity for early adolescents is dating in a group setting. Nonetheless, approximately 15% – 20% of youth between the ages of 11 and 13 years report a current romantic relationship, and up to 35% of youth in this age range report having some previous experience in a roman- tic partnership (Carver et al., 2003 ; Connolly
et al., 2004 ). Consistent with this accelerated trend, early starting youth experience a larger number of romantic dissolutions and more frequent partner turnover than their relatively on - time counterparts (Zimmer - Gembeck et al., 2001 ). The romantic relationships of early starters tend to be quite intense, both emotion- ally and sexually (Thornton, 1990 ). There is also some evidence that early entry into rela- tionships places adolescents on a trajectory of continuous, rather than episodic, romantic involvement. Neemann and colleagues ( 1995 ) report that youth who have a romantic partner in the early adolescent years are more likely than their nonpaired counterparts to have a boyfriend or girlfriend later in adolescence. Also demonstrating this trend of continuous involvement, Raley and colleagues ( 2007 ) found that youth who are engaged in serious romantic relationships during their adolescent years are more likely to marry or cohabit prior to age 25, a relatively early age in contempo- rary Western society (Fields, 2003 ). Perhaps such an ongoing focus with intimate relation- ships over the course of adolescence interferes with adolescents ’ ability to adequately form a separate sense of identity that would help them balance their intimacy needs with achieve- ment in other domains, much as suggested by Erikson ( 1968 ).
Precocious dating is most consistently predicted by early pubertal maturation (Aro & Taipale, 1987 ; Ellis & Garber, 2000 ; Friedlanders et al., 2007 ; Magnusson, Stattin, & Allen, 1985 ; Phinney, Jensen, Olsen, & Cundick, 1990 ). These data refer especially to adolescent girls, as the links between puberty and early dating have been less con- sistent for boys, with some studies reporting a positive association (Kim & Smith, 1999 ; Lam, Shi, Ho, Stewart, & Fan, 2002 ), and other studies, no association at all (Susman et al., 1985 ). Other predictors of early dating concern the functioning and structure of the family. Insecure attachment to parents is one such factor linked to early dating (Cooper, Shaver, & Collins, 1998 ). Parental monitoring
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Empirical Support for the Stages of Romantic Development 121
is another important feature of family dynam- ics as adolescents who report that their parents are relatively unaware of their social or leisure activities are more likely to be advanced in their romantic development (Friedlander et al., 2007 ). The marital status of an adolescent ’ s parents has also been linked to early dating. Youth from divorced families tend to become involved in romantic relationships at younger ages than do youth from intact family struc- tures (Chase - Lansdale, Cherlin, & Kiernan, 1995 ; Tasker & Richards, 1994 ). Links with parental divorce may be indirect, as some evidence shows that this association is medi- ated by the degree of conflict in the parent – adolescent relationship. Youth from divorced families who report a high degree of conflict with their parents are most likely to report dating in early adolescence (Veprinska & Connolly, 2007 ). Finally, peer group dynamics may give rise to early dating. Associating with older peers is a risk for precocious romantic relationships, likely because these peers model more advanced forms of dating involvement (Billy, Rodgers, & Udry, 1984 ; Friedlander et al., 2007 ; Stattin & Magnusson, 1990 ). We will return later in the chapter to the possibility that these associated factors may operate con- currently to compound the negative impact of early dating on adjustment.
Late Bloomers
Turning to the other end of the romantic con- tinuum, approximately 10% of late adolescents report no experience in either romantic activi- ties or relationships (Connolly & McIsaac, 2008 ) and an additional 15% do not partici- pate in relationships that endure beyond four months (Carver et al., 2003 ). Although very little is known about the romantic trajecto- ries of late - blooming youth, documenting whether their eventual entrance into roman- tic relationships is a gradual or direct process may be particularly important. Late bloomers who commence their romantic involvement by directly entering into a couple relation- ship may be quite challenged by the intimacy
expectations of these unions since their cross - sex intimacy skills are less honed and their ideas of what is acceptable in a relationship are less validated by the peer group. Because of this, late-blooming youth may be more vulner- able to affective and behavioral fluctuations in their romantic relationships than adolescents who have been scaffolded by their prior expe- riences with casual dating — an idea we will return to in our section on adjustment.
The predictors of this off - time pathway have not been well articulated. Some evidence sug- gests that late bloomers are less embedded in their peer networks and that they lack intimacy in their relationships with friends (Connolly & Johnson, 1996 ; Davies & Windle, 2000 ). This peer isolation may be reflective of the person- ality of late - blooming adolescents. Shy ado- lescents, for example, have been characterized as late bloomers because they are less likely to have a romantic partner in adolescence or marry when they reach adulthood (Caspi et al., 1988 ). In addition to temperamental fac- tors, delayed entry into romantic relationships may be due to differences in physical appear- ance, especially when these features bear on the attainment of culturally desirable images. A recent study of diversity in body weight among young adolescent girls demonstrated that even small variations in weight can lead to different romantic trajectories (Halpern, King, Oslak, & Udry, 2005 ). Nonobese ado- lescents with above - average body fat were far less likely to be romantically involved than girls who were at, or below, the mean body fat percentage of their peer group. Along a similar vein, adolescents who have a physical illness, such as juvenile diabetes, have fewer roman- tic relationships than their healthier peers (Seiffge - Krenke, 1997 , 2000 ). Explanations as to why temperamentally or physically dif- ferent adolescents would have fewer romantic experiences than other adolescents are often rooted in the friendship network. It may be that these special populations of adolescents have difficulty finding acceptance in their same - sex peer groups, which may in turn
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122 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
restrict their access to mixed - gender romantic activities and impede their progress to roman- tic relationships.
Culture and Timing
A later - than - average age of entry into roman- tic involvements should be considered within a cultural context. Asian cultures normatively delay the onset of cross - gender activities to the middle adolescent years and the forma- tion of romantic relationships, until high school has been completed (Coates, 1999 ). There is a strong focus on family interdepen- dency in Asian cultures, and this may contrib- ute to parents ’ reluctance to encourage their children ’ s entry into activities that pull them away from the home (Feldman & Rosenthal, 1990 ; Stevenson & Zusho, 2002 ). Adolescents whose later start is part of the cultural norm may have qualitatively different experiences from those youth whose off - time trajectories were created by individual characteristics. Because culturally prescribed romantic delays do not necessarily limit access to peers, the normative sequencing of developmental stages is unlikely to be altered. Rather, it is quite pos- sible that the overall shape of the trajectory will be intact, but that it will begin to unfold somewhat later in time. In support of this idea, studies focusing on Canadian and American adolescents of Asian descent have found that there is a later start to romantic activities among Asian adolescents in the early and mid- dle adolescent years and less serious relation- ships later on (Connolly et al., 2004 ; Regan, Durvasula, Howell, Ure ñ o, & Rea, 2004 ). That being said, it appears that once these young Asians begin to engage in romantic activities, they follow a similar sequence of stages as their North American peers (Connolly et al., 2004 ). It is unclear whether the late starters of other minority groups will follow the same gradual progression of romantic involvement noted for Asian youth. Some evidence sug- gests that this may not be the case and that a more abrupt transition from no involvement to dyadic relationships may occur. This possibility
is highlighted in a retrospective interview study of Latino college students who were asked to reflect on their high school romantic experiences (Rafaelli, 2005). These students reported a delayed onset of dating during their high school years but noted that when dating did emerge, it was couple based from the start, rather than progressing through a prior group stage. This pattern was particularly evident for girls. Studies that address the issue of romantic stages in non - Western cultures are relatively few in number and we believe that this is an important area for future inquiry.
NORMS AND EXPECTATIONS OF ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
Having reviewed the progression of romantic activities that support relationship develop- ment, we now turn to a consideration of the norms and personal expectations that color adolescents ’ approach to interactions with a romantic partner. Adolescents ’ entry into romantic activities is guided by their global understanding of culturally sanctioned feel- ings and behaviors, as well as the roles of adult men and women in heterosexual relationships (Feiring, 1999b ). Given that adolescents do not have an established sense of their own identity in romantic interactions, from a developmental perspective, they tend to rely on the gendered and stereotypic images that are portrayed in the popular media to inform their beliefs about what constitutes an appropriate relationship (Feiring, 1999b ). As highlighted in our review of the historical context of adolescent dating, the popular culture promotes a set of norms that position idealized notions of passionate love as the basis of all romantic relationships.
Norms of Passionate Love
At least among Western cultures, adoles- cents ’ relationship views center on the all - encompassing importance of romantic love and the belief that a passionate connection with one ’ s partner is a necessary and achievable state of being that is sustainable over the short and long term (Hatfield, 1988 ). Feelings of
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Norms and Expectations of Romantic Relationships 123
passionate love refer to the intense and special connection that one has to a romantic partner, and the idealization of this experience begins in middle childhood and persists virtually unchanged into the adolescent years (Connolly et al., 1999 ; Hatfield et al., 1988 ). Within this overarching mind - set, there are prescrip- tive norms that specify the “ correct ” way of attracting and maintaining a partner. A study of romantic beliefs conducted by Simon, Eder, and Evans ( 1992 ) found that adolescent girls could articulate several rules that dictate the expres- sion of romantic feelings, not the least of which was the requirement for one to be in a constant state of love. Also included among these rules were exclusivity, monogamy, and maintaining loving feelings regardless of a partner ’ s actions.
Yet coexisting alongside the norm of pas- sionate love, there are also competing norms that advocate for the restraint of romantic expression. “ Playing it cool ” by not allow- ing romantic attractions to become a preoc- cupation, at least in the eyes of one ’ s peers, is a form of behavioral restraint that is val- ued by both boys and girls (Simon et al., 1992 ; Tolman et al., 2004 ). The require- ment of restraint also finds extensive voice in the norm of “ compulsory heterosexual- ity. ” Passionate love is restricted to cross - sex attractions, and same - sex love is highly censured (Simon et al., 1992 ; Striepe & Tolman, 2003 ; Tolman et al., 2004 ). The het- erosexual norm places additional restrictions on the behaviors of each gender. Girls are required to focus on pleasing their boyfriends at the expense of themselves, particularly in the sexual arena. A girl who violates this norm by taking too many liberties with her sexuality is often subject to negative labeling by society at large. For boys, the heterosexual norm car- ries with it the expectation that they will be sexually aggressive with their girlfriends and focus their efforts on sexual, rather than rela- tional, forms of intimacy (Striepe & Tolman, 2003 ). Although acceptance of these restraints may be questioned by some adolescents and rebelled against by others, they nonetheless
inform adolescents ’ views of appropriate romantic interactions and shape their behav- iors accordingly.
Same - Sex Peer Groups as Enforcers of Norms
Same - sex peers make a significant contribu- tion to the interpretation, communication, and regulation of romantic norms. Yet the pro- cesses through which this normative informa- tion is transmitted tend to be quite different for groups of boys and groups of girls. Groups of girls frequently discuss romantic feelings, and these exchanges are the primary means of translating the broader cultural messages into scripts that are meaningful for their daily expe- riences (Cavanagh, 2007 ; Eder, 1993 ; Simon et al., 1992 ). Gossip about other adolescents ’ relationships is a prominent form of romantic dialogue among girls, as is teasing each other about the appropriateness of their romantic attractions and dating behaviors (Eder, 1993 ; O ’ Sullivan & Meyer - Bahlburg, 2003 ; Simon et al., 1992 ). Romantic norm violations are typically handled by excluding the offending girl from the friendship group. Fear of rejec- tion is quite salient for adolescent girls, and, as such, the technique of social ostracism is effective in regulating romantic feelings and behaviors. A recent study by O ’ Sullivan and Meyer - Bahlburg ( 2003 ) suggests that a domain in which girls are particularly vigi- lant is sexual expression. They report that groups of girls permit sexual activity only when it is accompanied by feelings of inti- macy. That being said, the allowable level of sexual expression is closely tied to the level romantic involvement, as sexual intercourse is seen as more acceptable in longer term rela- tionships than it is in relationships that are of shorter duration. Girls who are sexually active outside of intimate or stable relationships are typically condemned by their same - sex peers and labeled with such terms as slut or ho. As a result, these offending girls experience a decrease in their social standing.
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124 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
Rather than teasing or social exclusion, boys reinforce romantic norms through more directly aggressive means, especially bullying and sexual harassment (McMaster, Connolly, Pepler, & Craig, 2002 ). For boys, the most stringently enforced norm concerns the unac- ceptability of same - sex attraction and behavior (Tolman et al., 2004 ). Homophobic slurs are the most common method of same - sex verbal harassment among adolescent boys, and these remarks clearly convey the heterosexual norm. In support of this, adolescent boys who expe- rience same - sex attractions or who question their sexual orientation report higher levels of victimization and sexual harassment from their same - sex peers (Williams et al., 2003 ). Groups of boys also foster mutual adherence to the ste- reotype of heightened masculinity and sexual- ity. Adolescent boys encourage each other to actively pursue purely sexual encounters with girls (Tolman et al., 2004 ). This norm is often communicated in the context of group discus- sions wherein boys jockey with each other for positions of increasing social status. For both genders, then, peer group interactions function to promote the development of romantic views that are consistent with those of the broader culture.
Personal Goals and Motives
Aside from the universal norms that are sup- ported by the peer group, adolescents also have their own personal motives for engaging in romantic relationships. It is interesting to note that adolescents ’ personal views do not always mirror the norms as outlined above. When researchers invite individual adolescents to reflect on the particular elements that they are seeking in a romantic relationship, they tend to receive less stereotyped responses than when they obtain information about romantic expec- tations through discussions in a group setting. The use of individually focused methodologies brings into the forefront adolescents ’ desire for closeness and intimacy in their romantic rela- tionships (Connolly et al., 1999 ; Feiring, 1996 ; Roscoe, Diana, & Brooks, 1987 ; Shulman &
Kipnis, 2001 ; Shulman & Scharf, 2000 ; Smiler, 2008 ). Although adolescents ’ intimacy goals are broadly consistent with the cultural norm of passionate love, they also reflect con- cern about the degree to which they are per- sonally satisfied with the level of closeness in their relationships.
The ways in which adolescents expect to connect with their close romantic partners changes with age. In the early years of adoles- cence, romantic expectations and goals pertain more to affiliative and recreational ways of aligning with a partner (Connolly et al., 1999 ; Feiring, 1999a ; Roscoe et al., 1987 ; Shulman & Kipnis, 2001 ; Shulman & Scharf, 2000 ). These intimacy goals appear to be in harmony with the group - based nature of romantic interactions in the early adolescent period. Older adolescents, in contrast, are more likely to describe their relationship goals in terms of emotional inti- macy and reciprocal caretaking, expectations that blend well with the later romantic stage of consolidated dyadic relationships. Taken as a whole, the differing intimacy goals of younger and older adolescents seem to overlap well with the particular relationship structures that predominate at each stage of development.
There are also differences between the rela- tionship motives of boys and girls. Relative to girls, boys place more value on physical attrac- tiveness, sexuality, and game playing, and this is particularly the case in the early ado- lescent years (Feiring, 1996 ; Roscoe et al., 1987 ; Shulman & Scharf, 2000 ). Girls, how- ever, tend to emphasize emotional intimacy and attachment more so than boys (Feiring, 1996 ; Roscoe et al., 1987 ; Shulman & Scharf, 2000 ). Despite these differences, there are many ways in which boys and girls think simi- larly about their romantic relationships. Boys and girls equally value the affiliative functions of romance (Connolly et al., 1999 ; Feiring, 1996 ), and both genders look for positive personality traits in their partners (Regan & Joshi, 2003 ). Also speaking to the issue of gender similarity, an interesting set of find- ings by Smiler ( 2008 ) suggests that adolescent
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Norms and Expectations of Romantic Relationships 125
boys may be more oriented toward intimacy goals in their relationships than previously believed. His data show that middle adolescent boys are more motivated to pursue romantic relationships because of loving feelings and a desire for closeness than the possibility of sexual behaviors. These patterns likely reflect the methods employed by Smiler ( 2008 ) as he invited boys to report on both “ stereotypically male ” motivations for dating as well as those that allowed for a more nuanced understand- ing. As previously noted, our ability to docu- ment the ways in which young people pursue both cultural norms and personal goals in their romantic relationships is inherently tied to the methods that we employ to ask about these varied sets of expectations. Moving forward, we suggest that researchers consider roman- tic values at the level of the community, peer group, and individual.
Culture and Norms
A noticeable gap in our understanding of adolescent romantic norms is the assess- ment of cross - cultural differences. Additional investigation of this issue is likely to be quite revealing, given that romantic values and expectations are largely socially constructed and, as such, reflect cultural beliefs about the roles of men and women in relationships. The limited data that are available do suggest that Black and White adolescents living in the United States have somewhat different roman- tic and sexual expectations. O ’ Sullivan and Meyer - Bahlburg ( 2003 ) found that American girls of African descent experience culturally specific pressures to engage in high levels of sexuality within their romantic relationships. This pattern was echoed in a recent study using the Add Health data set in which African American boys and girls were reported to have more sexualized conceptions of roman- tic relationships than their White counterparts (Cavanagh, 2007 ). The findings of these two studies support the contention that African American culture is relatively accepting of sexual behaviors that occur outside of the
context of idealized romance (O ’ Sullivan & Meyer - Bahlburg, 2003 ). Philbrick and Stones ( 1988a , 1988b ) have also conducted studies that support the idea that African and Western cultures differ in their emphasis on the over- riding importance of romantic love. Using a South African data set, these authors found that both Black and White adolescents considered romantic power, or the belief that romance has a potent influence on a person ’ s life, to be a more salient relationship norm than passion- ate love. Despite our limited understanding of cross - cultural norms, the evidence reviewed in this section generally supports the ecological perspective of Bronfenbrenner ( 1979 ). That is, the appropriate expression of romantic inti- macy is first conveyed by the broader culture, then interpreted and regulated by the peer group, and, finally, internalized by the indi- vidual within the context of his or her romantic relationship.
Negative Expectations of Romance
Consistent with the general desirability of romantic relationships, there is little to suggest that adolescents have many negative views of romance. When negative expectations do sur- face, they tend to focus on problems maintain- ing independence rather than creating sufficient levels of closeness or intimacy. In support of this, Feiring ( 1996 ) found that the largest dis- advantage to romantic participation, as con- ceptualized by16 - year - old boys and girls, was that it might require too much commitment. Other disadvantages focused on the potential for negativity in the couples ’ interaction with each other, particularly conflict. It is of inter- est to note that only 10% of the adolescents in Feiring ’ s ( 1996 ) study were able to identify a single disadvantage of having a romantic rela- tionship. That being said, adolescents who do not adhere to cultural scripts of romantic love may be more likely to have negatively colored perceptions. Sexual - minority youth, who by definition do not conform to the norm of het- erosexuality, express fewer positive expecta- tions about romantic relationships (Diamond &
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126 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
Lucas, 2004 ). These youth are most anxious about their prospects of finding a romantic partner, as well as their likelihood of maintain- ing a relationship once it begins.
Adolescents ’ ideas about the negative fea- tures of romance may become more apparent when they reflect upon specific relationships that are troubled or have dissolved. One com- monly occurring relationship problem dur- ing the adolescent years, despite the cultural norm of monogamy, is infidelity. Feldman and Cauffman ( 1999a ) report that over 60% of late adolescents have been in a relationship where some degree of sexual betrayal has occurred, whether perpetrated by the self, the partner, or both parties. Studies that have asked late ado- lescents to describe the negative relationship features that would justify cheating have often pointed to a loss of passionate love or the pres- ence of jealousy or insecurity in the relation- ship (Feldman & Cauffman 1999b ; Feldman, Cauffman, Arnett Jensen, & Arnett, 2000 ; Roscoe, Cavanaugh, & Kennedy, 1988 ). These justifications suggest an absence of closeness between the partners, which, in turn, echoes the intimacy attributes that adolescents expect to find in their relationships. Other popular explanations for infidelity relate to adoles- cents ’ wariness about making a romantic com- mitment, including the desire to experiment with a number of different partners (Feldman & Cauffman 1999b , Feldman et al., 2000 ; Roscoe et al. 1988 ).
Asking adolescents to account for why a particular relationship came to an end may also elicit valuable information about their negative expectations of romance. Connolly and McIsaac (in press, 2008) have taken this approach in their investigation of adolescent breakups. Similar to the reasons offered for infidelity, adolescents ’ relationships dissolve because of dissatisfaction with the level of intimacy or closeness between the partners, be it expressed as a lack of affiliation, trust, open communication, or romantic feelings. Unlike infidelity, the desire for freedom or experimentation is rarely used to account for
relationship endings. Thus, adolescents ’ attri- butions for dissolution seem better able to pro- vide a window onto the expectations that youth have about the positive qualities that maintain relationships rather than the disadvantages of having a boyfriend or girlfriend. This logic res- onates with our overall point that adolescents are rather blind to the potential for problems in their romantic encounters, a cognitive filter which may contribute to their na ï ve enthu- siasm for these relationships, as well as their relative instability. Adolescents ’ neglect of the more negative facets of romantic relationships may also cause them to react more strongly to relationship problems when they do occur, perhaps accounting for the emotional labil- ity that accompanies romantic involvements during this stage of life (Larson, Clore, & Wood, 1999 ).
ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP PROCESSES
Having considered adolescents ’ concepts of romance and their various motives for want- ing a relationship, we now explore whether the qualities of their romantic interactions are consistent with their expectations. Researchers have primarily investigated the qualitative fea- tures of adolescents ’ romantic relationships by documenting the many support, conflict, and power processes that are contained within their couple interactions. Romantic support has typi- cally been conceptualized as a positive process because these features are desired by adoles- cents and also affirming of their involvement in the relationship (Shulman & Scharf, 2000 ). Conflict processes are more complex in their relational valence. Often, they are viewed as negative features that impede and detract from the relationship. Yet other times it is thought that successful negotiation of conflict is posi- tive in that it enhances the couple ’ s satisfaction and investment (Collins, Laursen, Mortensen, Luebker, & Ferreria, 1997 ; Shulman, 2003 ). Power processes are most often cast in a negative light because lack of equity tends to destabilize close romantic relationships
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Romantic Relationship Processes 127
(Banister & Jakubec, 2004 ). In the coming sec- tions, we outline support, conflict, and power processes in adolescents ’ romantic interactions and argue that these relational attributes con- tribute to adolescents ’ management of critical developmental tasks.
Support Processes
Adolescents consider their romantic rela- tionships to be among the most supportive and caring of all their personal connections (Adams, Laursen, & Wilder, 2001 ; Connolly & Johnson, 1996 ; Laursen & Williams, 1997 ; Seiffge - Krenke, 2000 ; 2003 ; Shulman & Sharf, 2000, Werebe, 1987 ). The support offered by a romantic partner has both behavioral and affec- tive dimensions. Common behavioral dem- onstrations of support include spending time together, exchanging gifts, and acknowledging the couple status to others (Carver et al., 2003 ; O ’ Sullivan, Mantsun, Harris, & Brooks - Gunn, 2007 ). More affectionate ways of showing support include disclosing personal feelings, developing a sense of caretaking and trust, and communicating loving sentiments (Connolly et al., 2000 ; Connolly & Johnson, 1996 ; Seiffge - Krenke, 2000 , 2003 ). By the end of the adoles- cent years, boyfriends and girlfriends ascend to the top of the hierarchy of close relationships, surpassing both parents and friends in terms of their perceived level of support (Furman & Buhrmester, 1992 ). Older adolescents, rela- tive to their younger counterparts, consistently spend more time with romantic partners, as well as note more trust, communication, and feelings of love in their romantic relation- ships (Adams et al., 2001 ; Carver et al., 2003 ; Connolly, Furman, et al., 2000 ; Laursen & Williams, 1997 ; Meeus, Branje, van der Valk, & de Wiede, 2007 ; Seiffge - Krenke, 2000 ). The developmental link between age and romantic support is mediated by adolescents ’ growing skill in maintaining longer term relationships (Connolly & Johnson, 1996 ), as well as the increasing salience of romantic partnerships in their own lives and in the lives of their peers (Meeus et al., 2007 ).
As with age, the support processes of romantic relationships can also vary with gender and cultural context. Girls and boys have been shown to be similar in their report- ing of the behavioral dimensions of romantic support, such as spending time together as a couple (Carver et al., 2003 ; Connolly, Furman, et al., 2000 , Connolly & Johnson, 1996 ; Seiffge - Krenke, 2000 , 2003 ). Yet there is a marked gender difference in terms of the emo- tional support that is perceived. Consistent with their greater focus on relationship dynamics, girls generally view their romantic relation- ships as more nurturing, caring, and affection- ate than boys (Connolly & Johnson, 1996 ). This pattern suggests that girls and boys expe- rience their relationships quite differently, even though the time they spend together is compa- rable. Ethnicity also moderates the degree of support expressed in a romantic relationship. Giordano and colleagues ( 2005 ) found that African American youth describe their roman- tic relationships in less supportive and caring terms than White adolescents. These authors attribute this difference to the strong family values of the African American culture. In this context, extensive connections with a large kin network are quite valued, leaving relatively fewer personal resources to devote to the deepening of a specific relationship (Giordano et al., 2005 ).
Support Processes and Developmental Tasks
Romantic support processes have most often been linked to the achievement of intimacy, sexuality, and attachment to a partner. Yet dis- entangling the links between support processes and the interdependence tasks that they are thought to promote is often methodologically and conceptually challenging. Methodological problems are most evident in the links between support processes and intimacy attainment because intimacy has been framed as both a process and an outcome in studies of ado- lescent romance. Furthermore, the “ process ” and “ task ” aspects of intimacy are typically
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128 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
measured at the same time, using similar instrumentation, making conclusions about an adolescent ’ s capacity for intimacy isomorphic with the assessment of the quality of his or her interaction with a romantic partner. A study by Montgomery ( 2005 ) has addressed this methodological limitation by examining the intimacy task from an Eriksonian, rather than an interpersonal, perspective. She assessed adolescents ’ impressions of their capacity for intimacy and then connected this to their dat- ing history and quality, ultimately noting that youth with more extensive love experiences expressed more confidence in their capac- ity to attain a high degree of intimacy in their close relationships. Another way in which the task and process components of intimacy may be separated is through the use of a lon- gitudinal design. Focusing on Brown ’ s ( 1999 ) notion of bonded love , Seiffge - Krenke and colleagues ( 2001 , 2003 ) found that this attain- ment in young adulthood was predicted by the support processes that characterized their romantic relationships at the age of 17 years. Additional longitudinal studies within the ado- lescent period would be helpful in confirming the causal pathway between positive processes and the resolution of intimacy.
In contrast to intimacy, the links between romantic support and sexuality suffer from more of a conceptual silence. Although many romantic theorists (Connolly & Goldberg, 1999 ; Furman & Wehner, 1994 ; Sullivan, 1963) have suggested that sexuality should be inte- grated with romantic feelings, the essential components of sexual maturity are not entirely clear. Is the task of sexuality relatively behav- ioral, concerning adolescents ’ increasing par- ticipation in sexual activity with a romantic partner? Or is the task of sexual development more consistent with identity formation in that a sexual aspect of the self must be uncovered and integrated alongside other aspects of one ’ s personal definition? Or, finally, is sexuality relatively biological in that the task concerns fulfilling reproductive potential in a stable and committed relationship? As the research fields
of adolescent sexuality and romance become more collaborative, these questions will no doubt be addressed, likely revealing the mul- tifaceted aspects of sexual development that may occur in the context of a relationship. The data that we currently have speaks to the link between support processes and sexual behav- iors. For example, a positive association has been found between relationship support and light sexual behaviors, such as hand holding, kissing, and fondling, among late adoles- cent couples (Rostosky, Galliher, Welsh, & Kawaguchi, 2000 ). This connection has yet to be established longitudinally, meaning that it is equally possible for the achievement of sexuality to increase the level of support and intimacy in a relationship.
Attachment research may be better posi- tioned to avoid these pitfalls because the con- ceptualization and measurement of specific attachment styles is more clearly differentiated from the underlying support processes that promote romantic security. That being said, there is unfortunately a dearth of research that directly examines the links between supportive romantic qualities and attachment to a roman- tic partner. A recent study by Furman and Simon ( 2006 ) made an important step in filling this gap. These authors evaluated the cross - sectional links between romantic relationship processes and working models of romantic attachment among middle adolescents in sta- ble romantic dyads. Youth who reported that their relationships were characterized by open communication and expressions of caring were more likely to be categorized as securely attached to their partner than were youth whose relationships were lacking in these qualities. Furman and Wehner ’ s ( 1994 ) notion that positive processes will carry forward from one relationship to another, thus facilitating secure romantic attachments at a later time in adolescence, remains unexplored.
Psychosocial achievements that concern adolescents ’ growing sense of self, including the formation of a romantic self - concept, sex - role identity, and maintaining autonomy with a
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Romantic Relationship Processes 129
romantic partner, are also thought to be aided by romantic support processes (Connolly & Goldberg, 1999; Feiring, 1999b ; Furman & Shaffer, 2003 ). Research findings, though not voluminous, generally attest to a link between positive relationship processes and indepen- dence tasks. Dating and romantic status, for example, have been linked to romantic self - concept, namely, the belief that one can attract and maintain a romantic partner (Connolly & Konarski, 1994 ; Kuttler, LaGreca, & Prinstein, 1999 ). Speaking more directly to the issue of relationship processes, when adolescents view their couple relationships as support- ive, satisfying, and enduring they feel more competent in the romantic domain (Bouchey, 2007; Laursen, Furman, & Mooney, 2006 ) and are more settled in their sex - role iden- tity (Zimmer - Gembeck & Petherick, 2006 ). Similar links have been found for romantic autonomy. Adolescents who are in supportive relationships are more able to set boundaries and maintain a separate sense of self relative to those youth whose relationships are less close (Shulman & Knafo, 1997 ; Taradash, Connolly, Pepler, Craig, & Costa, 2001 ).
Conflict Processes
Conflict does occur in adolescents ’ relation- ships with their romantic partners, although far less frequently than with other members of their social network (Furman & Buhrmester, 1992 ; Shute & Charlton, 2006 ). Adolescent romantic partners most commonly argue about issues that relate to the functioning of the dyad, including jealousy, trust, neglect, and betrayal (McIsaac, Connolly, McKenney, Pepler, & Craig, 2008). External factors, such as select- ing social activities or responding to pressure from peers, are seldom reported by adolescents as issues that spark a conflict with their roman- tic partner (McIsaac et al., in press). Similar to the trajectory of support processes, romantic partner conflicts also increase across the ado- lescent years (Furman & Buhrmester, 1992 ; Shulman & Tuval - Mashiach, 2006 ). This over- lap is unlikely to be a coincidence. Conflict
can occur only between partners who are suffi- ciently close to become aware of incompatibil- ities. As well, relationship partners must have cultivated enough emotional investment in the relationship to enter into the conflict, rather than taking the easier path of letting the rela- tionship dissolve without a struggle (Collins, Laursen et al., 1994 ; Shulman, 2003 ).
Conflict can be detrimental or beneficial to a relationship, depending on the way in which it is handled (Laursen, Finkelstein, & Betts, 2000). Hence, there has been con- siderable effort made to understand how adolescents respond to conflict with their romantic partner. According to adolescents ’ self - reports, the most common conflict nego- tiation strategy used with a romantic partner is compromise. This includes such behaviors as listening to one ’ s partner, expressing per- sonal feelings, and proposing mutually satis- fying solutions (Feldman & Gowen, 1998 ). The reported use of compromising strategies increases with age. Somewhat less often, adolescents report using distraction to avoid addressing the problem altogether, employ- ing such tactics as telling jokes, or engag- ing in a different activity. Other romantic conflict strategies include seeking support from friends and using overt expressions of anger, although these are less often reported by adolescent romantic couples (Feldman & Gowen, 1998 ).
Boys and girls report similar rates of con- flict with their romantic partners (Furman & Buhrmester, 1992 ). That being said, there are quite clear gender differences in the most frequent type of conflict strategy utilized, with girls reporting more compromise and boys reporting more distraction (Feldman & Gowen, 1998 ). There is also some data to sug- gest that, in their romantic partner interactions, boys and girls are inclined to adopt a conflict approach that is characteristic of the other gen- der. In particular, Shute and Charlton ( 2006 ) found that adolescent boys and girls report conflict strategies with a romantic partner that are somewhat similar to the strategies used by
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130 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
the other gender in their conflicts with a same - sex best friend. Relative to their peer disagree- ments, with their romantic partners, girls are more likely to report the use of overt anger and boys are more likely to report the use of compromise. Shute and Charlton ’ s ( 2006 ) data thus lend support to Maccoby ’ s ( 1998 ) view that the imitation of opposite - gender interaction styles may be an attempt by ado- lescent dating partners to accommodate to the novel behaviors of the other, as well as their willingness to engage in unfamiliar strategies for the sake of relationship maintenance.
Observations of adolescents ’ conflict pro- cesses paint a somewhat different picture than the one based on self - reports. In contrast to the self - reported use of compromise, the most commonly observed strategy employed by adolescents is actually to disown the conflict by downplaying its significance or impact on the relationship (Tuval - Mashiach & Shulman, 2006 ).
While not generally viewed as relation- ship enhancing, downplaying may nonethe- less serve a useful function to adolescents in that relationships that are characterized by this style are quite enduring, at least over a 1 - year period (Shulman, Tuval - Mashiach, Levran, & Anbar, 2006 ). Far less often than downplay- ing, adolescents use an integrative strategy in which they sincerely engage with the con- flict and try to negotiate a solution that will enhance mutual understanding in the relation- ship (Shulman et al., 2006 ). The integrative style only emerges as typical in the young adult years and the relative maturity of this style is evident in its link with relationship durations of 2 years or more (Shulman et al., 2006 ). In contrast to these more adaptive techniques, a minority of adolescents approach disagree- ment in a coercive manner, using conflictive strategies that escalate the interaction into a negative confrontation which fails to resolve the issue. Unsurprisingly, conflictive strategies do not resolve the disagreement, but rather, they contribute to the further destabilization of the couple, leading to the rapid termination
of the relationship (Shulman et al., 2006 ). Conflictive strategies also have the potential to escalate the argument to the point of physical aggression (Capaldi & Gorman - Smith, 2003 ; Connolly & Josephson, 2007 ; O ’ Leary & Slep, 2003 ). Adolescent dating violence is an important issue however, further discussion of the theory and evidence for this phenomenon is beyond the scope of this chapter.
Observations of romantic conflict suggest that, in real life, adolescents are less able to use the compromising and collaborative strat- egies that they indicate in their own reports. It is likely that adolescents ’ desire to com- promise with their partners is not matched by their actual negotiation skills in the emergent context of a romantic relationship. Boys, in particular, rarely acknowledge the use of any negative conflict resolution strategies with their girlfriends (Feldman & Gowen, 1998 ). Girls, however, seem more able to acknowl- edge their use of angry or coercive strate- gies from time to time. It cannot presently be determined whether there are consistent dif- ferences in the observed strategies of boys and girls because the majority of observational studies position the couple as the unit of the analysis, rather than the individual partners (e.g., Tuval - Mashiach & Shulman, 2006 ). Given the small number of observational stud- ies of conflict resolution, further work on the gendered ways of negotiating a disagreement is clearly in order.
Conflict Processes and Developmental Tasks
Researchers have considered whether the pro- cess of resolving a conflict is linked to the attainment of developmental tasks. Autonomy has been a particular focus because successful negotiation of a conflict necessitates behav- iors that aid the establishment of a sense of independence in the relationship, such as the expression of individual opinions and points of view (Collins et al., 1997 ). This connection was examined in a recent observational study of conflict management and autonomy in
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Romantic Relationship Processes 131
adolescent romantic couples (McIsaac et al., 2008). Data obtained from this study suggest that when adolescents enable the negotiation of conflict by using compromise, active listen- ing, and reciprocal turn taking, both boys and girls show more autonomy. Conversely, when adolescents obstruct the negotiation process by refusing to talk about the problem, using dis- traction or verbally attacking the other, lower levels of autonomy are expressed. McIsaac and colleagues (2008) thus support the notion that conflict is complex and its function in supporting developmental tasks is dependent on the strategies adopted by the adolescents. This study also uncovered an interesting pat- tern of gender dynamics. Girls who employed enabling conflict management styles enhanced the autonomous functioning of their boyfriends, as well as themselves. However, similarly skilled boys did not influence their girlfriends ’ auton- omy. As we have previously discussed, girls appear to take on a “ managerial ” role in their interactions with a boyfriend, echoing their interpersonal strengths in the dyadic context (Leaper & Anderson, 1997 ; Maccoby, 1998 ; Underwood, 2007 ).
Similar to autonomy, the links between conflict processes and attachment representa- tions have a clear conceptual base (Creasey, Kershaw, & Boston, 1999 ). Because conflict threatens the stability of a relationship, argu- ments are thought to provide a salient context for the activation of attachment representations. Romantic conflicts may be particularly chal- lenging for adolescents with anxious attach- ments because they tap into their fears about relationship loss and rejection. The fragility of anxious youth has been documented by Creasey and his colleagues (Creasey & Hesson - McInnis, 2001 ; Creasey et al., 1999 ). Relative to late adolescents who are securely oriented toward their close relationships, anxious youth report lower confidence in their ability to man- age negative affect during a conflict situation. Creasey and Ladd ( 2004 ) recently suggested that high negative mood expectancy under- lies the perception of escalating conflict for
anxiously attached youth. Yet this expectation seems to primarily color their internal expe- rience of the conflict, rather than their actual negotiation, as Creasey and Ladd ( 2004 ) did not observe any strategy differences between anxiously attached and securely attached youth during a romantic conflict interaction task. In support of the notion of an “ inner struggle, ” Campbell and colleagues ( 2005 ) found that anxious adolescents describe their roman- tic relationships as conflictual, even though these high ratings are not corroborated by their partners. Yet, in contrast to Creasey and Ladd ( 2004 ), Campbell and colleagues ( 2005 ) also observed anxious youth to escalate their con- flicts by overreacting to their romantic partner, as well as by being unresponsive to their part- ner ’ s attempts to calm and refocus the discus- sion. The somewhat different picture painted by these two studies may reflect the locus of attachment that was measured, with Creasey and Ladd ( 2004 ) tapping into late adolescents ’ general representations of close relationships and Campbell and colleagues ( 2005 ) tapping into specific attachment to a romantic partner. As such, the latter study may have been better positioned to reveal links between attachment representations and adolescents ’ actual nego- tiation of the romantic conflict. Although most attachment - based studies of conflict negotia- tion have focused on anxious youth, there is some data to suggest that avoidant youth are also ineffective managers of their romantic conflicts. Avoidant youth are more likely than anxious or secure youth to use such strategies as withdrawal, inattention, and defensiveness during a conflict (Creasey et al., 1999 ; Creasey & Ladd, 2004 ), behaviors which highlight their disconnectedness from the emotional needs of their partners. The theoretically intriguing links that we have presented between conflict pro- cesses and attachment representations await repli- cation in samples of early and middle adolescents.
Conflict processes have also been linked to the achievement of romantic intimacy (Collins & Laursen, 1994 ; Shulman, 2003 ). Late adolescents, in particular, seem to recognize
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132 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
that some level of conflict is not only expect- able in their relationships, but also valuable in terms of improving communication and understanding between the partners (Simon, Kobielski, & Martin, 2008 ). Such construc- tive beliefs about the utility of conflict have been associated with the self - reported level of emotional intimacy in the romantic relation- ship. Adolescent boys and girls who believe that conflict can be a healthy way of resolving differences report more positive conflict nego- tiation strategies and more intimacy in their romantic relationships than youth who believe that conflicts should be avoided because of the threats they pose to couple stability (Simon et al., 2008 ). Complementary findings about the intimacy functions of conflict have been found using video - recall methods of late ado- lescents ’ couple interactions (Galliher, Welsh, Rostosky, & Kawaguchi, 2004 ). Adolescent girls who rated their boyfriends as less angry in their interactions also reported more closeness in the relationship. Boys, in contrast, were less affected by the presence of frustration as their satisfaction with the relationship was unlinked to conflict, even though they reported that it occurred at the same level as did their girl friends’. Rather than attending to the more neg- ative aspects of the conflict, boys ’ satisfaction with the relationship was linked to their beliefs about their own ability to incorporate their girl friends ’ points of view into decisions about the relationship. These observational findings suggest intriguing gendered links between inti- macy and conflict such that boys and girls may be sensitive to different aspects of the conflict dynamic in their close romantic partnerships.
In the same way that adaptive methods of solving a conflict can support emotional forms of intimacy, one might argue that such conflict processes would also support the expression of healthy sexuality between romantic part- ners. At present, there is little data available to assess the links between conflict negotia- tion strategies and sexual development. Data obtained in a study of late adolescent couples (Rostosky et al., 2000 ), however, support
the idea that conflict dynamics and sexuality are connected. Boys and girls who describe their romantic interactions as highly argu- mentative report having more frequent sexual intercourse than couples who do not regularly engage with their partner in conflict. The authors suggest that this counterintuitive find- ing may be explained by positioning sexual intercourse as a proxy for the stability of the couples ’ investment in the relationship, which in turn creates a safe atmosphere for them to air their grievances with each other. However, because conflictual processes were not simul- taneously associated with more affectionate forms of sexual behaviour, such as hand hold- ing or kissing, it may also be that high levels of conflict impede normative trajectories of sex- ual development by launching adolescents into sexually intense relationships before they are able to manage these dynamics. Further work on the links between conflict and sexuality are needed to clarify these, and other, possibilities.
Imbalance of Power
The Western notion of romantic love embraces the concept of equity between partners because of the high value placed on individual choice in this cultural context (Chung, 2005 ; Felmlee, 1994 ). Despite this cultural norm, studies of young adults show that women generally do not perceive their relationships to be balanced in decision making, emotional investment, or the amount of personal resources committed to the relationship (Felmlee, 1994 ). Unlike adults, it could be argued that adolescents should not experience power imbalance in their romantic relationships because developmentally, these unions are lower in the emotional, financial, and day - to - day commitments that often spark perceptions of inequity. Consistent with this, many adolescents report that power in their romantic relationships is shared (Furman & Buhrmester, 1992 ). This finding is stable across the adolescent years and does not differ between boys and girls. It may be premature, however, to conclude that power dynamics are not present in adolescent couples ’ interactions
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Links with Parent and Friend Relationships 133
with each other. In contrast to self - report find- ings, interviews with youth and observational studies of couple interactions suggest that power imbalances are a central theme in adoles- cents ’ romantic relationships. Adolescent girls ’ discussions about their dating relationships highlight problems with equity and suggest that they perceive themselves to hold inferior power relative to their boyfriends (Banister & Jakubec 2004 ; Chung, 2005 ). Girls nonethe- less want to believe that their relationships conform to the romantic ideal of equity and so to accomplish this, they take charge of the “ emotional work ” of the relationship (Chung, 2005 ). By casting their boyfriends as emo- tionally incompetent, girls use their interper- sonal strengths to reclaim a sense of power. This way of framing power is also evident in a recent study of adolescent girls and their boyfriends (Bentley, Galliher, & Fergusen, 2007 ). Girlfriends who acknowledge a power imbalance in decision making are nonetheless satisfied with their romantic relationship as long as they feel in control of the discussion that led to the decision.
Power and Developmental Tasks
Negotiating power in a relationship would appear to be central to the developmental tasks of independence. In theory, the achievement of equity would necessitate the kind of self - expression and active listening skills that are compatible with a strong sense of self, and an ability to maintain this separateness while interacting with romantic partners instead of suppressing one ’ s perspective. However, the links between power, identity, and autonomy have not yet been explored in the context of adolescent romance. Intimacy, in contrast, has been connected to power processes. Adams, Laursen, and Wilder ( 2001 ) found that inti- macy in a romantic relationship was associ- ated with reciprocal interactions in which both adolescents perceived the authority to be shared between themselves and their partner. Although not yet explored, other develop- mental tasks may also be influenced by power
dynamics in the relationship. Adolescents with anxious attachments, for example, may be particularly vulnerable to feelings of power- lessness because it may affirm their own inse- curities about their worthiness as a romantic equal. Power imbalances in a romantic rela- tionship may also encourage some girls to use their sexuality as a means to regain a sense of control, much as they are thought to seek control by managing the emotional tone of the interaction (e.g., Chung, 2005 ). Taken as a whole, studies of romantic power suggest that this dynamic is more central to the adolescent period than originally thought. Rather than a pattern of discontinuity with the romantic relationships of adults, issues of power imbal- ance are evident in adolescent relationships and are not dependent on high levels of emo- tional or financial commitment for their surfac- ing. Moreover, there is emerging evidence that power processes are linked to the manner in which developmental tasks are resolved, rein- forcing the relevance of a better understanding of this relationship dimension in adolescence.
LINKS WITH PARENT AND FRIEND RELATIONSHIPS
Romantic relationships do not occur in iso- lation but are connected to adolescents ’ relationships with their families and their friends. Having reviewed the processes of romantic relationships and the developmental tasks that they facilitate, a key question is how other relationships contribute to romantic functioning. Both attachment and developmental - contextual perspectives have guided researchers ’ efforts to address this question. Attachment theory is fundamentally concerned with the continuity of working mod- els and relationship processes from parents to other close relationships. As previously noted, adolescence is a key transitional period when attachments migrate from parents to friends and then to romantic partners (Collins & Sroufe, 1999 ; Collins & van Dulmen, 2006 ; Furman & Simon, 2006 ; Furman & Wehner,
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134 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
1994 ; Hazan & Shaver, 1987 ). The develop- mental - contextual approach focuses more on the patterns of influence that exist within the nested contexts of parents, peers, and romantic partners (Conger, Cui, Bryant, & Elder, 2000 ; Connolly & Goldberg, 1999 ; Ford & Lerner, 1992 ; Gray & Steinberg, 1999 ). Within this perspective, parents and friends are thought to create overlapping social contexts within which adolescents develop the skills and per- sonal attributes that are then directed toward their romantic relationships. Both the attach- ment and developmental - contextual traditions examine outcomes that bear on negative and positive transmission. Drawing on these per- spectives, we summarize what is known about the independent and joint contributions of par- ents and friends to romantic relationships.
Continuity with Parental Relationships
Consistent with both attachment and developmental - contextual views, there is evidence of a significant overlap in posi- tive processes between parental and romantic relationships. Emotional closeness and sup- port with a parent are predictive of similar expressions of these processes in adolescents ’ romantic relationships, both concurrently and over time (Laursen, Furman, & Mooney, 2006 ; Seiffge - Krenke et al., 2001 ; Smetana & Gettman, 2006 ). Processes that promote independence in relationships also are con- nected. Adolescents who openly express their opinions with their parents are similarly comfortable having open discussions with their boyfriends and girlfriends (Taradash et al., 2001 ). These linkages may be due to the positive views of relationships engendered by secure attachment to parents. Indeed, two lon- gitudinal studies examining romantic develop- ment find that secure parental attachment in late adolescence is predictive of mutual car- ing, emotional investment, trust, and intimacy with a romantic partner in emerging adulthood (Mayseless & Scharf, 2007 ; Roisman, Madsen, Hennighausen, Sroufe, & Collins, 2001 ).
Romantic conflict processes also reflect parental interactions. Several studies have shown that adolescents tend to use the same strategies that they employ in their paren- tal conflicts, be they integrative, avoidant, or coercive, to manage the disagreements that they have with their romantic partners (Martin, 1990 ; Reese - Weber & Bartle - Haring, 1998 ; Reese - Weber & Khan, 2005 ). The overlap of conflict processes can also be seen at the level of the marital interaction. When parents experience antagonistic relationships with each other, the romantic relationships of their children are often marked by similar levels of hostility (Scharf & Mayseless, 2001 ; Stocker & Richmond, 2007 ). Research conducted by Steinberg, Davila, and Fincham ( 2006 ) sug- gests that an important mediator of the con- nection between interparental conflict and adolescent romantic outcomes is the working model of close relationships held by the young person. In their study of early adolescent girls, these authors found that girls who were sen- sitive to themes of hostility and rejection in their parents ’ arguments with each other also tended to have insecure working models of relationships — a style of attachment that in turn set the stage for their participation in risky romantic and sexual activities. Reese - Weber and colleagues ( 1998, 2005 ) have also highlighted the importance of the parent – adolescent dynamic to account for the link between marital discord and adolescent romantic behavior. These researchers have shown that parent – adolescent conflict medi- ates the link between adolescents ’ perceptions of interparental friction and the strategies that they themselves use when arguing with their romantic partners. The same indirect path held for adolescents from divorced as well as intact families (Reese - Weber & Khan, 2005 ). Although family structure does not appear to shape conflict negotiation in the romantic domain, family dissolutions have been shown to cast a shadow on other aspects of adoles- cent romance. Adolescents from divorced families hold less favorable views about
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Links with Parent and Friend Relationships 135
committed romantic relationships and marriage than do youth whose families are still intact, and they also experience lower levels of intimacy with their romantic partners (Guiliani, Lafrate & Rosnati, 1998; van Schaick & Stolberg, 2001 ).
Identifying the parenting practices that lead to healthy romantic relationships is a matter of importance for researchers and parents alike. An important debate concerns whether parents should encourage the romantic involvements of their teenagers, restrict their cross - sex interac- tions, or find some middle ground of encour- agement with careful monitoring. Studies are beginning to address this particular question. Examining family decision making and con- flict among dating and nondating adolescents, Dowdy and Kliewer ( 1998 ) found that frequent dating was associated with teens ’ perceptions of greater autonomy in making decisions about their social and romantic activities. This level of autonomy seemed to come at a cost, however, as the frequent daters also reported conflictual interactions with their parents. However, having too little input into family decision making may also be problematic for romantic development. Youth in more restrictive family environments report negative interactions with their romantic partners, even when this high level of restraint is tempered by family warmth (Smetana & Gettman, 2006 ). It is likely that moderate levels of adolescent autonomy are optimal, especially when embedded in supportive family dynam- ics. This balanced line of thinking is affirmed in a recent longitudinal study of parents ’ concerns and practices around the romantic activities of their children (Kan, McHale, & Crouter, 2008 ). The results of this study demonstrate that when active monitoring is imbedded in positive paren- tal relationships, adolescents are particularly likely to experience high - quality interactions with their romantic partner and to have a strong sense of their romantic competence.
Continuity with Friendships
In light of the substantial role that peers have in shaping adolescent romantic involve- ment, it is not surprising that considerable
overlap between friend and romantic quality has been found. Adolescents ’ closeness, trust, and openness with their friends are all mir- rored by comparable qualities in their roman- tic relationships (Connolly & Johnson, 1996 ; Kuttler & Greca, 2004 ; Laursen et al., 2006 ; Seiffge - Krenke, 2000 ; Shulman & Sharf, 2000 ). Autonomy with friends also generalizes as ado- lescents who feel confident expressing their dif- fering views with their friends do this with their romantic partner as well (Taradash et al., 2001 ).
A similar pattern of continuity is apparent for the more negative aspects of friendships and romantic relationships. Levels of argu- mentativeness, hostility, and annoyance are all correlated between friends and romantic part- ners (Furman et al., 2002 ; Kuttler & LaGreca, 2004 ; Stocker & Richmond, 2007 ). For some youth, these negative peer tendencies may crystallize into stable patterns of bullying and this too can be carried over into their roman- tic relationships (Connolly, Pepler, Craig, & Taradash, 2000 ). Consistent with this, a study of young adolescents found that the romantic relationships of youth who bully are characterized by little affection and support, as well as gross imbalances of power, favor- ing themselves. Negative feelings may also be engendered between friends when they begin to participate romantic relationships. Roth and Parker ( 2001 ) studied the reactions of adoles- cents to the romantic involvement of their best friends. Their results suggest that when ado- lescents start to date, their friends may feel excluded from the new relationship and this may lead to feelings of jealousy. Clearly, an important task for adolescents is learning to balance the competing demands of friends and romantic partners in ways that promote har- mony and agreement in the two social contexts.
Joint Contributions of Parents, Friends, and Romantic Partners
Although parent and peer influences can be studied independently, from a developmental - contextual view, these relational contexts are thought to be both linked and mutually
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136 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
influential on romantic development. In essence, independent consideration of the con- tributions of parents and friends to romantic quality belies the more accurate reality that these relationships create overlapping contexts of social experience within which romantic development occurs. Two such patterns of over- lapping influence are apparent in the literature, namely conjoint effects and primacy effects, and we will consider how both of these patterns in turn create an interface between the worlds of families, peers, and romantic partners.
Conjoint effects on romantic processes are obtained via the shared contribution of parents and friends. In essence, these effects suggest that both families and peers com- pliment the influence of the other, thereby enhancing the overall outcome. An example of conjoint effects can be found in Laursen and colleagues ’ ( 2006 ) study of romantic self - con- cept in middle adolescence. These researchers found that adolescents could be clustered into groups based on the level of support that they experienced in their mother, best - friend, and romantic relationships. The adolescents who indicated high support in all three domains saw themselves as highly competent in their roman- tic relationships. Highlighting the importance of nested contexts in development, conjoint effects have also been noted for the relation- ship process of romantic autonomy. Taradash and colleagues ( 2001 ) found that autonomy with mothers and best friends was conjointly associated with this attribute in romantic part- nerships. As with positive processes, conjoint negative influences can also be seen. Hostility with family members and with friends has been shown to jointly contribute to patterns of conflict that exist between adolescent couples (Stocker & Richmond, 2007 ).
By primacy effects, we are referring to those that showcase the supremacy of one relationship context over that of the other, such that the presence of the more dominant agent overshadows any direct links attributed to the other party. In terms of adolescent romance, peers and friends may hold a position of
primary influence relative to parents. Such an effect is evident in a recent study conducted by Furman and his colleagues ( 2002 ). These authors examined the links among working models of parent, best friend, and romantic attachments in middle adolescence. Supporting the primacy of the friend – romantic link, parent attachments were unrelated to working models of romantic relationships once peer connec- tions were considered. That being said, their data did show strong connections between friend and parent attachment, thus supporting the notion that adolescent friends function as transitional attachment figures between parents and romantic partners (Hazan & Shaver, 1987; Furman & Wehner, 1994 ). Similar primacy effects can be seen in romantic intimacy pro- cesses, for which all available evidence sug- gests that support from friends overrides the contribution of parental support in predicting the level of closeness between boyfriends and girlfriends (Shulman & Scharf, 2000 ; Taradash et al., 2001 ). The primacy of friends ’ influence on adolescent romance should be placed in a developmental context, however, and tempered by the likelihood that parental attachments are more primary at other points in develop- ment. Supporting the long - term importance of parents on romantic functioning, secure attachment in infancy has been shown to carry forward into positive romantic interactions in the late adolescent years (Simpson, Collins, Tran, & Haydon, 2007 ). Yet, also reinforcing the role of friends, the parent – romantic associ- ation reported in this study was partially medi- ated by the quality of attachments to friends in middle adolescence. One may speculate that, in the early years of adulthood when young people may no longer require the transitional attachment functions of friends, the link between parent and romantic attachment may once again become more direct.
ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS AND PSYCHOSOCIAL ADJUSTMENT
Intense feelings of love uniquely character- ize romantic relationships. This state of high
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Romantic Relationships and Psychosocial Adjustment 137
arousal elicits strong physiological, cognitive, and emotional responses from adolescents. Young people in love report frequent mood swings, sleep loss, and an inability to concen- trate on day - to - day tasks because of obses- sive thoughts of their beloved (Brand et al., 2007 ). Dealing with these strong reactions can be challenging, not only because of the nov- elty of this relational context, but also because adolescents are less likely to have developed the skills that are necessary to cope with these new romantic situations (Larson et al., 1999 ). Although romantic relationships are norma- tive and developmentally beneficial, from the point of view of the adolescent, they can also be a significant source of stress (Grover & Nangle, 2003 ; Nieder & Seiffge - Krenke, 2001 ; Seiffge - Krenke, 2003 ; Steinberg & Morris, 2001 ). Theories of adolescent coping indicate that when stress levels move beyond the psy- chosocial resources that are available to the adolescent, his or her adjustment is likely to suffer (Compas, 1998 ). Indeed, it appears that romantic relationships may at times overwhelm adolescents ’ coping resources as roman- tic involvement has been linked to depres- sion (Davila, 2008 ), anxiety (e.g., LaGreca & Mackey, 2007), poor academic perfor- mance (e.g., Doyle, Brendgen, Markiewicz, & Kamkar, 2003 ), and delinquency (e.g., Davies & Windle, 2000 ). A review of the findings linking romantic relationships to mental health prob- lems suggests that this overlap may be viewed as operating at three levels. At the level of the individual, we argue that deviations from nor- mative romantic trajectories and negative cog- nitions about relationships both contribute to poor adjustment with romantic stress. At the level of the dyad, we note that poor - quality romantic processes can compromise a young person ’ s adjustment. Finally, at the contextual level, we consider how romantic stress can be amplified by unsupportive peer and family connections. Both internalizing and external- izing symptoms may result from dysfunction at each of these levels and so we organize our discussion of romantic relationships and
adjustment to account for these differing pat- terns of symptoms.
Individual Factors and Adjustment
Timing of Relationships
Returning to the issue of individual differ- ences in romantic timing, there is a substantial literature attesting to the psychosocial risks of being an “ early starter ” on the romantic trajec- tory. According to the developmental appropri- ateness hypothesis (Graber & Brooks - Gunn, 1996 ; Welsh et al., 2003; Williams, Connolly & Cribbie, 2008 ), adolescents who experience transitions at an earlier age than their peers are less likely to have acquired the skills neces- sary to successfully navigate these changing social contexts, thereby conferring risk for maladjustment. Because early starters are also out of step with the romantic progress of their age - mates, they may look to older peers for romantic companionship. However, their younger age makes them less likely to be accepted by a normative group of older peers, resulting in their romantic socialization with more deviant youth (Stattin & Magnusson, 1990 ; Young & d ’ Arcy, 2005 ). If involvement with marginalized older peers does occur, the stage is set for the development of anti- social behaviors and externalizing problems. Although the mediating role of older peers has not been fully supported (Friedlander et al., 2007 ), there is substantial evidence connect- ing early romantic relationships to external- izing problems. Higher rates of delinquency, aggression, bullying, school problems, risky sexual behavior, alcohol use, and substance abuse have all been associated with precoc- ity in the romantic domain (Brendgen, Vitaro, Doyle, Markiewicz, & Bukowski, 2002 ; Connolly, Pepler, et al., 2000 ; Friedlander et al., 2007 ; Neeman, Hubbard, & Masten, 1995 ; Tubman, Windle, & Windle, 1996 ; Zimmer - Gembeck et al., 2001 2004 ). These externalizing problems are more pro- nounced among girls, although the patterns do generalize to boys as well. Early - starting
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138 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
girls have also been noted to experience body dissatisfaction, dieting, and prob- lematic eating behaviors (Cauffman & Steinberg, 1996 ; Compian, Gowen & Hayward, 2004 ). Internalizing symptoms are also common for early - starting girls, most notably depression and lower self - esteem (Compian, et al., 2004 ; Doyle et al., 2003 ; McDonald & McKinney, 1994 ; Zimmer - Gembeck et al., 2001 ). The problems associ- ated with early starting may place youth on developmental trajectories that continue to have adverse effects over the course of adoles- cence, ultimately setting the stage for a trou- bled transition to young adulthood (Rutter, 1996; Zimmer - Gembeck & Collins, 2008 ). Yet whether these psychological problems are due only to the early timing of their roman- tic trajectory is not entirely clear. Other pre- disposing factors located in the family, peer group, or community may well be implicated in channeling the adjustment consequences of early dating. We report on what is known of these moderating factors in subsequent sec- tions of this discussion.
A different nonnormative trajectory, which we have previously labeled as “ late bloomers, ” might also be associated with adjustment dif- ficulties. Adolescents who encounter social transitions at older ages than their peers are thought to have significantly less experience in the very contexts that support the mastery of critical skills (Sullivan, 1953 ). Underdeveloped proficiency in age - related tasks, such as the for- mation of intimate bonds with persons outside the family, may place these late - developing youth at risk for psychological distress (Allen et al., 2006 ; Sullivan, 1953 ). There is virtually no research directed to this question. However, a recent study by La Greca and Mackey ( 2007 ) found that older adolescents who had never had a romantic relationship reported higher levels of dating anxiety than their more roman- tically experienced age - mates. From these findings we may infer that, at some point in adolescence, the absence of dating cre- ates anxiety for young people who may see
themselves as less competent or attractive than their peers. La Greca and Mackey ’ s ( 2007 ) data also raises the possibility that preexist- ing emotional symptoms, personality traits, or cognitive biases may inhibit some adolescents from forming age - appropriate relationships with peers and romantic partners. Likely, pre- existing factors and a lack of peer experience combine to set adolescents on a course of later maturity in the romantic domain, however, how these interactive effects might unfold is not currently known.
Relationship Cognitions
A controversial finding from the Add Health data set, published by Joyner and Udry ( 2000 ), indicates that having a romantic partner in the last 18 months is associated with depressive symptoms. Because this finding runs counter to the idealized notion that romantic love makes people happy, developmental researchers have been motivated to search for an explanation to this link (Davila, 2008 ). A major focus of this research has been to identify the relationship cognitions that underlie depression in the face of romantic involvement. From an attachment perspective, insecure working models have been hypothesized to be one such relationship cognition. The thought is that insecure attach- ment styles color adolescents ’ interpretations of their romantic interactions in negative and stress - inducing ways, thereby leading to adjustment problems (Cooper, Shaver, & Collins, 1998 ). In support of this claim, inse- cure romantic attachment has been linked to depressive symptoms in early and late adoles- cent girls, especially for those with a preoccu- pied style (Davila, Steinberg, Kachadourian, Cobb, & Fincham, 2004 ). Relative to other forms of insecurity, preoccupied attachments are thought to be especially risky as youth with this style of attachment are intensely drawn to relationships, but soon after they enter into them, experience significant dis- tress because they are unable to fully trust their partners or view themselves as worthy of love (Davila et al., 2004 ). The repercussions of
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Romantic Relationships and Psychosocial Adjustment 139
anxious attachments appear to go beyond depressive symptoms as romantically involved boys and girls with these working models report substance abuse, delinquency, truancy, hostil- ity, and risky sexuality (Cooper et al., 1998 ; Margolese, Markiewicz, & Doyle, 2005 ).
Rejection sensitivity is another relation- ship cognition that puts adolescents at risk for maladjustment when they begin dating. The construct of rejection sensitivity refers to the anxious expectation of rejection in close relationships, which, in turn, causes adoles- cents who are high on this attribute to emo- tionally overreact when instances of rejection are experienced (Downey, Bonica, & Rinc ó n, 1999 ). Rejection sensitivity develops early in life by way of negative messages about accep- tance and rejection communicated by parents or other significant figures. Youth who receive such messages are thought to become hyper- sensitive to rejection, a state that ironically makes them behave in ways that increase the likelihood that rejection will actually occur. Evidence suggests that adolescents who are rejection sensitive experience challenges in their romantic relationships. These youth do not trust their romantic partners and are hostile towards them, yet are willing to engage in anti- social or self - silencing behaviors to maintain the relationship (Harper, Dickson & Welsh, 2006 ; Purdie & Downey, 2000 ). In terms of adjustment, being overly sensitive to romantic rejection has been linked to depression for both adolescent boys and girls (Harper et al., 2006 ), reinforcing the value of this cognitive bias for understanding the link between romantic rela- tionships and psychological symptomatology.
Dyadic Factors and Adjustment
Couple Processes
Shifting focus from the individual to the dyad, negative romantic interactions are also thought to underlie the psychosocial difficulties of ado- lescent partners (Tabares & Gottman, 2003 ). Similar to adult romantic relationships, it has been suggested that adolescent couples can
develop repetitive patterns of criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and withdrawal in their interac- tions with each other. These coercive patterns stifle communication and create distress for both partners. Although less studied than individual factors, there is evidence that relationship dynam- ics are linked to adjustment. Reflecting the ideas of Tabares and Gottman ( 2003 ), depression, anx- iety, and low self - esteem have been reported by adolescents whose relationships are characterized by high levels of conflict and criticism, low levels of support, and an imbalance of power between the partners (Galliher et al., 1999 ; La Greca & Harrison, 2005 ; La Greca & Mackey, 2007 ; Reese - Weber & Marchand, 2002 ; Rizzo Daley, & Gunderson, 2006 ; Welsh et al., 1999 ; Williams, Connolly & Segal, 2001 ). The volatile and unstable nature of these relationships likely pushes them toward dissolution, which in and of itself, can compound the effects of negative processes.
Dissolutions
Romantic relationship dissolutions are con- sidered to be highly stressful by researchers, clinicians, and adolescents alike. Relationship endings can constitute a significant inter- personal loss for young people, engendering feelings of worthlessness, abandonment, and despair about their romantic future (Weber, 1998 ). When such negative feelings persist, romantic loss may go beyond adolescents ’ ability to cope, resulting in significant men- tal health problems, and in particular, depres- sion (Hankin & Abramson, 2001 ; Joyner & Udry, 2000 ). A large - scale, prospective study of adolescent depressive disorders affirms this connection (Monroe, Rohde, Seeley, & Lewinsohn, 1999 ). Of the adolescent boys and girls who developed a major depressive disorder over the course of the study, half of them reported having had a romantic breakup in the preceding 12 months. Given that this severe outcome did not befall all of the youth who experienced a breakup, it stands to rea- son that individual differences may moder- ate the impact of romantic loss on adolescent
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140 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
adjustment. Although work on this topic is at an early stage, some important moderators have already been noted. Individual differ- ences in interpersonal sensitivity to rejection have been shown to be important. Rizzo and colleagues ( 2006 ) found that highly sensitive girls were most likely to report clinical depres- sion following the experience of a romantic dissolution. The number of breakups that an adolescent has experienced may be another important moderator of psychological distress. Youth who report a large number of relation- ship turnovers likely experience accumulat- ing feelings of loss that eventually overwhelm their coping resources. Consistent with this, youth identified as having a persistent pattern of multiple relationship start - ups and termina- tions report more depression than other ado- lescents, as well as other problem behaviors such as binge drinking and minor delinquency (Barber, 2006 ; Davies & Windle, 2000 ). Moderators of the negative consequences of romantic dissolutions have also been identi- fied at the level of the dyad. In particular, it is important to know which partner initiated the demise of the relationship. Adolescents who ascribe the breakup to their partner ’ s dis- satisfaction report more depressive symptoms than those who indicate that they initiated the breakup themselves (McIsaac & Connolly, 2004 ). These initial studies are useful in iden- tifying individuals who are at risk for serious problems following a romantic dissolution, yet further work in this area is warranted to better understand when a normative event, such as a breakup, can become a precipitant for depres- sion and other mental health concerns.
Contextual Factors and Adjustment
Peers
We have previously discussed the important role of peers in creating a context for find- ing romantic partners, transmitting romantic norms, facilitating relationship activities, and modeling social skills. Extending this per- spective to adolescents ’ adjustment, we might
expect that peer networks and close friends will help adolescents manage the stresses that are inherent to the emergent character of their romantic relationships. By the same token, we might expect that adolescents who move into romantic activities in the absence of a supportive peer context will be vulnerable to adjustment problems. Evidence to support this association can be found in La Greca and Mackey ’ s ( 2007 ) study of dating anxiety in adolescence. Young people who do not belong to a cross - gender peer network, or who have conflictual relationships with their same - sex best friends, are more likely than other youth to report dating anxiety. The moderating effects of peer context can also be seen in a recent investigation of early - dating adolescents (Brendgen et al., 2002 ). In this study, early dyadic dating was linked to lower self - esteem, antisocial behaviors, and academic problems, but only for adolescents who were unpopular with their same - sex peers. Thus, it appears that a positive peer group can reverse the impact of otherwise negative events.
The links between peer groups, romantic relationships, and adjustment are, perhaps, not as straightforward as the previous set of findings would suggest. This is because peer groups have many overlapping functions that at times, may seem to work at cross - purposes. For instance, although frequent contact with peers can facilitate romantic development, it can also influence youth to engage in minor deviancy or health risk behaviors (Dishion & Piehler, 2007 ). When these two functions converge, adolescents ’ romantic activities are likely to include group - based deviant or risky behaviors. In support of these dual functions, adolescents with multiple or steady romantic partners report more alcohol use and minor deviancy than other youth (Davies & Windle, 2000 ). These romantically involved youth also report belonging to peer groups that are composed of heavy drinkers. The processes that connect these converging peer functions may relate to how social status is defined. Many adolescent groups endorse alcohol use
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Summary and Future Directions 141
and minor misbehavior, as well as confer high status to those who participate in romantic relationships (Brown, 1999 , 2004 ; Prinstein, 2008 ). Adolescents, on the whole, may be prone to conforming to these norms in order to fit in with their peers, and so they engage in dating and delinquency to achieve status on both fronts. That being said, these dual pres- sures may be more salient for some peer groups than others (Allen, 2008; Prinstein, 2008 ). Adolescents who are in status - focused groups may be influenced by the overlapping norms of dating and deviancy more so than adoles- cents who are in groups with less stringent rules about peer popularity. Understanding these co - occurring peer influences on adoles- cents ’ romantic development is an important task for future research.
Parents
Very little is known about how specific family processes may moderate the adjustment implications of adolescent dating. Rather, fam- ily effects have typically been conceptualized as distal influences that impact adjustment by shaping adolescents ’ internal views of rela- tionships, as discussed earlier in this section (e.g., Davila et al., 2004 ). It is possible, how- ever, that family processes play a role in ado- lescents ’ responses to romantic involvement. Some evidence suggests that such moderating effects may indeed be present, especially when adolescents make the transition to romantic relationships. In particular, marital conflict has been shown to moderate the link between early dating and adjustment in girls (Doyle et al., 2003 ). Early - dating girls in families with high marital conflict report low self - esteem, whereas in families with low conflict, early daters do not differ from nondaters. As with positive peer associations (i.e., Brendgen et al., 2002 ), it appears that family dynamics can also minimize the risk associated with early dyadic dating. Whether other family practices, such as high parental monitoring in the face of young adolescent dating, mitigate the risks of early involvement awaits future study.
SUMMARY AND FUTURE DIRECTIONS
Developmental research on adolescent roman- tic relationships has come a long way. From a rather uninformed starting point a decade ago, a substantial literature on this topic has emerged. Spurred by the seminal publication of Furman, Brown and Feiring, ( 1999 ), and the ground- breaking Society for Research on Adolescence (SRA) presidential address of Collins ( 2003 ), we now have compelling theoretical frameworks that help us understand the developmental sig- nificance of this relationship. Our understanding of adolescent romance has improved in several key areas. These include defining the unique attributes of this relationship; mapping patterns and prevalence in multiple contexts; charting developmental progressions in structure and quality; describing normative pressures; link- ing relationship processes and developmental tasks; connecting romance with other key rela- tionships; and exploring the ramifications for psychosocial adjustment. These many advances lead us to better appreciate adolescents ’ roman- tic relationships as a pivotal bridge between the relationship contexts of childhood and those of the adult years. A foundation is now in place for further meaningful examination of adoles- cent romantic relationships. We outline sev- eral directions for future research that would expand current knowledge and fill gaps in our developmental understanding of romantic rela- tionships. We organize our discussion of these future directions around the organizational themes of this chapter.
Definitions and Patterns of Relationships
As researchers, we often impose definitions and boundaries on adolescents ’ romantic rela- tionships, but these may not always fit well with their lived experiences. Adolescents ’ relationships are very much “ in progress ” and the fuzzy boundaries that separate one type of cross - gender relationship from another may be difficult to document with the romantic
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142 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
status – oriented questions that are in com- mon use. This fluidity in adolescents ’ minds about different relationships may introduce an element of error into traditional self - report methodologies as researchers may not be con- sistently capturing the same group of daters from one study to another. One useful direction to redress this issue would be to use qualitative methodologies to gain a richer understanding of relationship boundaries and validate our defini- tions of the romantic landscape. In elaborating our definitions of romantic relationships, we note that there is an equally urgent need to use categories that reflect the experiences of youth in a broader social context than is currently the case. Our present knowledge is highly confined to the experiences of Western youth in White, middle - class families. Whether youth in dif- ferent neighborhoods, communities, cultures, and countries live with similarly fluid boundar- ies in their romantic experiences is unknown. Addressing these issues will be central to mov- ing forward an agenda of more inclusive and ecologically valid research.
Stages of Romantic Development
The definitional restrictions noted above reflect, at least in part, the silence of our cur- rent theories to adequately address diversity of developmental experiences in romance. Our theories need to be broadened to account for varying trajectories of development that come from different baseline experiences. A partic- ular issue that comes to mind is the fact that mixed - gender peer experiences are the starting points of all contemporary romantic theories. Yet these peer experiences can have very dif- ferent meanings for some of our youth, sug- gesting that peer groups may not operate in the same way for all individuals. Sexual - minority adolescents surely have romantic relation- ships, but it is doubtful that their mixed - gender peer experiences play the same role as they do for heterosexual youth. Sexual - minority youth are, in general, understudied from a roman- tic perspective. While we might believe that patterns of development are invariant across
sexual orientation, it could well be that these youth follow different pathways and timeta- bles to healthy and harmonious relationships. Returning to the role of mixed - gender peer groups as romantic catalysts, our theories also do not speak to those youth who lack cross - gender friendships, whether due to social rejection, poor mental or physical health, or cultural prohibitions. How such youth initiate relationships outside of natural peer contexts needs to be incorporated into our theories. Perhaps to commence our charting of trajecto- ries that do not begin with typical peer experi- ences, we need to devote more consideration to passionate attraction as the primary root for relationship formation and study what alterna- tive behavioral strategies these feelings may lead to when peer groups are absent.
Turning to another gap in the literature, the- orized romantic pathways have been tested in segmented ways, focusing on either the early or later years of adolescence. Longitudinally study- ing romantic pathways across the full course of adolescence would allow us to better understand the links between romantic stages, especially the period of exploratory romantic relationships in the middle adolescent years. This stage of romantic activity is rather understudied, in com- parison to the formation and dyadic stages of a relationship, and a trajectory approach would address this gap. Such an approach would also bring to light nonnormative romantic pathways, in addition to that of early starters. Late bloom- ers have largely been ignored in the current literature and the conditions that set them on this pathway are unknown. As we have already noted, later involvement might pose a long - term challenge to youth as they have not had the opportunity to acquire or practice necessary romantic skills. However, delaying romantic entry until the emerging adult years may be beneficial to some youth who choose to focus their energies on school, elite sports, or volun- teer activities. There may also be alternative routes to mature and fulfilling romantic rela- tionships, which are not described in our current theories or empirical studies.
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Summary and Future Directions 143
Romantic Norms and Cultural Variation
Romantic norms are critical to examine cross - culturally if we are to appreciate which aspects of the human need for love and belonging are expressed universally and which are unique to specific ecological contexts. Although research- ers in many different countries are studying adolescent romantic relationships, a direct comparison of the norms and values of youth in different cultures has yet to be made. Yet such work is essential if we are to understand romantic values and ideals that differ from Western ones, and also, how such norms shape romantic behavior in these different cultural contexts. A related issue to consider is the impact of Western media images on the norms and values of youth who live in other coun- tries. The idealization of passionate love that is popularized in the Western media is now avail- able to a diverse audience of youth by way of the Internet. This romantic norm may conflict with the expectations of kin - based cultures and how adolescents resolve this clash of values in their romantic and family relationships would be valuable to learn.
A related issue concerns the ways in which adolescents interpret the norms within their own cultures and how they integrate this understanding into their own behavior. Here, we are thinking especially about adolescent boys in Western cultures. We have noted what we are beginning to learn about how boys interpret the norms of masculinity and how they integrate these status - oriented values into their search for romantic intimacy and companionship. We know more about these issues with girls, and the information that we have acquired about the ways in which they resolve competing tensions between idealized relationships, peer norms, and personal desires has lead to innovative approaches to help them successfully navigate romantic relationships (e.g., Banister & Begoray, 2004 ; Banister & Jakubec, 2004 ). Comparable efforts directed to boys would likely lead to similarly fruitful outcomes.
Romantic Processes
Broadening our views of trajectories, it would be important to consider relationship processes within the developmental cycle of an individual relationship. Currently, researchers are inclined to study romantic relationship processes at one point in the cycle, either at formation or later, once the couple has been established. A much neglected point in the life cycle of a relation- ship is its termination. Romantic dissolutions can have a powerful impact on adolescents and understanding how this event connects to earlier points in the relationship trajectory needs to be better understood. Extending this dyadic focus, mapping the course of a rela- tionship from its formation to its conclusion would allow for a better understanding of how the processes of support, conflict, and power evolve, and how these transformations may either further the growth of the individual partners and strengthen the relationship, or conversely, lead to its termination. A relation- ship cycle approach would also focus research attention on the dyadic level and push us to explore more carefully how couple processes may deepen or change as partners adjust to the needs and cues of each other. This might be especially important for our understand- ing of conflict processes and of how particu- lar negotiation strategies may be most useful at different points in the relationship. Another consequence of this approach would be to bring to the forefront the question of recipro- cal influence. Current studies most typically focus on one member of the couple relation- ship. Learning more about the partner and how that person ’ s attitudes and behaviors influence the individual adolescent is a critical issue for future research. And, finally, we note that this approach will help to address how gender dif- ferentially shapes these partner effects. As we have discussed, gendered socialization patterns create challenges for adolescents when they start to connect with opposite - sex partners. Yet these connections also create opportunities for learning new skills and ways of relating for both boys and girls. A vital task for researchers is
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144 Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
to articulate more clearly how adolescents of each gender confront the challenges of adapt- ing to the new interaction cues of their roman- tic partners.
To date, adolescent romantic relationships have largely been framed as a context for inti- macy and later attachments. Far less atten- tion has been paid to their role in facilitating other developmental landmarks. To advance our thinking about how romantic relationships promote identity, autonomy, or sexuality, there is a need to better conceptualize these devel- opmental tasks within a romantic framework. For example, autonomy with a romantic part- ner is likely different from its expression with parents or peers. A clear conceptualization of romantic autonomy would also contribute to a better understanding of the optimal bal- ance between this task and romantic intimacy. Balancing relatedness with autonomy is a key marker of healthy adult relationships and so it is incumbent upon researchers to start to explore the trajectory of this dynamic in the adolescent years. Similar arguments can be made for the tasks of sexuality and identity. As we have noted in this chapter, refinement of the meaning of these tasks in the romantic con- text is essential if we are to advance our under- standing of the connections between romance and sexuality, as well as with the many facets of identity formation.
Peer and Family Links
Implicit in the developmental contextual view that romantic relationships are embedded in a broader set of peer and family connections is the notion of reciprocal and bidirectional influences. At present, most research has examined the influence of families, peers, and friends on romantic development. Yet how an adolescent ’ s romantic experiences might influ- ence other relational contexts warrants further consideration. For example, how do romantic relationships alter the nature of the parent – child interaction, especially around issues of autonomy and independence? Likewise, we need to examine the renegotiations that occur
in a close friendship once one friend enters into a serious romantic partnership. Although there is some evidence that this transition can be negative, creating jealousies and feelings of exclusion, the potential for positive outcomes should also be explored. Having a romantic relationship might assist friendships in many ways, including for example, enabling a socially excluded youth to find his or her way into a group of peers that he or she would not otherwise have access to.
Romantic Relationships and Adjustment
Current research makes clear that romantic relationships are problematic for some youth, contributing to symptoms of anxiety and depression, or alternatively, encouraging vari- ous forms of misbehavior. Clinical implica- tions of these findings suggest that it would be important to incorporate some aspects of romantic relationship functioning into the clinical assessments of young people present- ing with mental health issues. This domain of adolescents ’ lives is frequently overlooked in clinical contexts, yet our data suggest that romantic stresses are quite significant in pre- cipitating their visits to mental health treat- ment centers. Incorporating healthy romantic functioning into interventions for anxiety, depression, and problem behaviors would also be an important direction to pursue. Currently, the dialogue between researchers and clini- cians on this front is minimal. Yet adolescents would no doubt benefit from the combined efforts of researchers and clinicians in design- ing interventions that would take them off of at - risk romantic trajectories and put them on a path toward healthy romantic involvement.
Despite their possible challenges to adjust- ment, we conclude by commenting that we think of romantic relationships as a develop- mental asset. When romantic experiences are paced with the competencies of the adolescent, and embedded in a social context that both supports and regulates appropriate involve- ment, romantic relationships are healthy and
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References 145
beneficial. This view is consistent with current interest in positive youth development. As we move away from a “ deficits ” view of adoles- cence, it is critical for researchers to share what we know about positive romantic development with the youth themselves and, also, with the adults who support them in multiple contexts. Translating research findings into policy and practice would contribute to positive youth development on a broader scale and in a way that is most beneficial to the social and roman- tic functioning of adolescents.
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