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The Story of Korie – An Autobiography

Korie

The Story of Korie

There once was a boy who was born into a family that was somewhere between low and middle class. He was the first born of the family and the family soon grew to have two more brothers and a sister, but not all of the same parents. Some of my earliest memories are of when my mom and dad when they were arguing. I remember being a seven-year-old boy and being torn from my dad’s car by my mother and her best friend during my little brother’s birthday party. The dilemma was all because of a custody disagreement. My family was getting separated. “While we might not remember more total details about a bad event we experience the details you remember about a negative event are more likely to be accurate” (Thompson, 2007). While that was a defining moment that would have a ripple effect on my childhood psyche and life growing up, there were many other events that shaped me into who I am today. My name is Korie Gaumer and this is my story.

Living and School

Due to our family separation, my mother was raising my brother, Kyle, and I as a single mother. She worked many odd jobs to cover the bills and we moved often. We never moved far but that was so that we could remain in the same school district during our critical developmental years. My mother was a very proud woman and we never applied for any government aid such as Women, Infants and Children (WIC) or food stamps. “With 42.2 million people participating in the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), one might think Americans would have a more welcoming stance towards their usage” (Cutter, 2018). There was always a negative stigma in our area growing up about the people who utilize those sorts of programs. They were seen as extremely poor people who did not even use them for the right purposes. However, our family from time to time has purchased food stamps off of people when we were really hurting. It was a cheaper and better option socially for us as a family to buy our groceries in this manner.

In school, my brother and I noticed very different cultures. The schools that my brother and I attended during our primary and middle school years were very close to a county line. Due to the constant moving to different addresses, I had to transfer school districts during my changeover from middle school to high school. This means that I had to say goodbye to all of my friends and start fresh with a new batch of miscreants. There was a very well-known rumor that went around my town that the good kids went to the district I was from and the bad kids went to the district I was going. I was already going into making friends with the forethought that these kids were all going to be bad people. The population at my new school was very diverse and had many more minorities as compared to my previous school. Many of the kids that attended this school lived in the poorer parts of town and made me realize that my city was more segregated than I previously thought. The town was not always segregated though.

Easton used to be a vibrant, culturally and racially diverse town in the 1800’s to the mid-1940’s consisting mostly of Lebanese, Jewish, and African American citizens. Easton fell victim to the Housing Act of 1949 that gave local funding and power to eradicate ghettos and slums. In turn these cleared areas of land were sold to private developers that were encouraged to rebuild. “Especially in the early years, cities practiced “bulldozer” renewal, eradicating whole neighborhoods. Programs sometimes eliminated not “slums,” but “low-rent” neighborhoods” (Smith, 2010). “Local redevelopment organizations did not always comply with federal requirements to replace demolished housing with additional housing units, exacerbating existing housing shortages for lower-income families” (Smith, 2010).

Marriage and Family

I grew up without seeing much success in marriage or relationships. My family was much more likely to sign a contract for a joint bank account with their significant other than they were to get formally bonded forever with marriage. My mother did get married once when I was around ten years old but that did not last more than about two years. Technically speaking, they are still married by law although they have been separated for almost two decades now. This complicated my meaning of relationships growing up as I began to think that relationships were not something that were built to last.

I did find myself thinking about what kind of family I would like to have going into adulthood. I knew that I would want to be married to a woman and that she was more than likely going to enjoy all the things that I liked. My life would be just like all the other nuclear families that I had seen on the television growing up. I would work my rewarding job while my wife stayed at home with our large number of kids and our one Golden Retriever. When I got home, I would be greeted and adored by my loving family and we would all sit around the table for dinner.

As I grew older, I knew that this was not only something that I did not want, but something that is unrealistic for today’s society. I am now married to the love of my life, Amanda, who made me realize that relationships can last. We have a beautiful boy, Lucas, who really lights up my world and makes me want to give him all the things I didn’t having in my youth. I’m proud to say Amanda works a very difficult job in insurance and makes more money than I bring home annually, although this does hurt my pride as a man. “From infancy on, we are socialized by family, educators, religious leaders, peer groups, and the wider community, who teach us what is expected from us in terms of appearance and behavior based on whether they code us as a boy or a girl. Media and popular culture play important roles in teaching us gender too” (Crossman, 2019). Amanda and I are working on having more children but it has been difficult due to medical issues and other life stressors that cause hypertension. In fact, there was only one thing I kept sort of the same from my childhood thoughts on marriage and family. We have two small Pomeranians, Roxie and Gizmo who love to bark and jump all over us when we come in the door after a long day of working jobs we tolerate.

Conclusion

Although my life is not perfect, I still would not change anything about that life. If I can offer any advice for people in my similar situation it would be to forgive people even if you feel they do not deserve it or want that forgiveness. I did not have much of a relationship with my father growing up and it hurt for many years. I did get to see him but only once or twice a month if that was feasible. I did not know why he did not want to see me more often or why he could not reach out more often at least. I did not have a phone. I was always out riding my bike. I was always making excuses. It was not until I decided to forgive myself for his absence and decide for myself that I was worth love that I truly started to develop as an adult. Pain does not leave overnight from emotional scars, but pain does get better. I have many events planned in the future for myself and my family and that will keep me young at least for the next few years. Thank you for listening to my story.

References

Crossman, A. (2019, May 25). ThoughtCo. Retrieved from The Sociology of Gender: https://www.thoughtco.com/sociology-of-gender-3026282

Cutter, E. (2018, September 28). Food Stamps program creates stigma amongst students. Retrieved from The Pacific Index: https://www.pacindex.com/opinion/2018/09/28/food-stamps-program-creates-stigma-amongst-students/

Smith, A. (2010). The Language of “Blight” and Easton’s “Lebanese Town”: Understanding a Neighborhood’s Loss to Urban Renewal. PENNSYLVANIA MAGAZINE OF HISTORY AND BIOGRAPHY, 128.

Thompson, A. (2007, September 5). Bad Memories Stick Better Than Good. Retrieved from LiveScience: https://www.livescience.com/1827-bad-memories-stick-good.html