Writing essay revision

jon371449
annotated-Semi-final.doc.pdf

Yue Huang 02/23 LLD 100A Cristin Boyd

RHETORICAL ANALYSIS OF A PROFESSIONAL DOCUMENT

INTRODUCTION

The article I am analyzing is Careers for Numbers People, Stem, Silicon Valley & Beyond by

Bob Morand. This is a good text for me to analyze because this text can make my future

planning clearer. The text shows a lot of information about math-related jobs including salary

range and top employers. Most importantly, the text explains what each job needs to do with

many details. Therefore, I can plan my learning direction by understanding of the information.

The author met many people who enjoy math but are unsure what they want to do and have no

idea about their careers like me. Hence, in order to achieve his purpose of helping such people

find a future path, he wrote this paper and posted it on the Internet. Therefore, the intended

audience for the text is the people who are not sure about the future but want to find a job. I

consider that he wants the reader to think what they are interested in around those fields he

mentioned in the paper and start learning other specialties depending on which career they are

going to do after they read this article. I will elaborate on my analysis of this paper about the

rhetorical strategies which are ethos, logos, exemplification, definition and comparison.

Cristin Boyd
120000003909867
people who like math? numbers?
Yue Huang

2

ANALYSIS OF RHETORICAL STRATEGIES

Rhetorical Appeals

Ethos

In this article, Ethos is used to convince audiences of the author’s credibility or character as I

learned in class. According to the introduction about the author on the website, we can know that

the author is president and managing partner DW Simpson, an executive recruiting firm

specializing in the placement of Actuaries and Analytics professionals, and he frequently speaks

at actuarial clubs/affiliations throughout the United States and Europe on the subject of actuarial

employment trends, sharing how employees can attract actuarial talent to their companies. As a

math major student, I know that a lot of people who are mathematics major choose to make

actuaries as their own career after graduation, among all mathematics-related careers. In this

case, the author used ethos by introducing his background and experience to make him credible.

Logos

The rhetorical appeal the author used is logos. From the Reading Packet, “Logos, the appeal to

logic, means to convince by use of logic or reason”. To use logos would be to cite facts and

statistics, and there are a lot of statistics about median salaries for different careers like

accountant or median starting salaries of bachelor’s and master’s for various careers like

Computer Engineering/Information. Therefore, the connection between example and strategy is

that the existence of such examples demonstrates the use of the logos strategy. Due to the

Cristin Boyd
120000003909867
need quote marks for any of this? " "

3

application of logos, the author is able to convince the audiences who are numbers people and

unsure what they want to do. And in this case, the strategy can contribute to accomplishment of

the author’s purpose of convincing the reader.

Development of Ideas

Exemplification

First of all, the author often use exemplification as a method to gain credibility in his article. It

can show the details of a complex problem in a way that’s easy for readers to understand. As we

can see from the paragraph, “Stacking Numbers Careers Against Others”, the author gives us a

lot of information about careers with their typical degree and median salary to explain his

opinion, “Graduates with STEM-related degrees are in high demand today and there are a lot of

jobs available that pay well. For example, for accountant, the typical degree is bachelor’s degree

in accounting and the median salary is $63550.” Similarly, in another paragraph, “Top Paying

Numbers Jobs in Silicon Valley”, the author also shows a few high-paying numbers jobs that can

be found in Silicon Valley such as algorithms engineer, data scientist and so on. Through these

examples, he provides a few paths for the readers to choose. When faced with specific options,

the people who do not know what to do can pick one according to their interests. So, in this case,

they would be clearer about their future than before.

Cristin Boyd
120000003909867
pg number?
Cristin Boyd
120000003909867
clearer about their future or about possible future pay for particular examples of jobs?
Cristin Boyd
120000003909867
nice, clear explanations so far.
Cristin Boyd
120000003909867
about what? connect to MI of article

4

Definition

Secondly, the author tells us what the “certain commonalities” of people who work with numbers

may possess are by definition. Definition can deeply examine a word or a concept as we actually

use and understand it. In the first paragraph of this paper, “Is a Career in Numbers Right for

You?”, the author defines the certain commonalities as many traits including a facility for

reasoning and reverse reasoning, “an understanding of spatial, quantitative and abstract

relationships and an ability to employ numbers and mathematics with confidence.” The author

explained the commonalities to the reader and makes them know more about themselves if their

lives are related to number or mathematics. The definition makes the audience easier to figure

out their abilities and strengthen their confidence to continue learning based on what they know

about themselves.

Comparison

Last but not least, comparison is also an important rhetorical strategy for this paper. The author

makes use of comparison to illustrate, “the people who work with numbers translates to higher

salaries and earning a graduate degree usually means higher salaries and more upward mobility.”

In the paragraph, “Stacking Numbers Careers Against Others”, the author compares careers that

require a math or a math-related degree with those that do not such as actuary and emergency

medical technician, computer scientist and human resources specialist. By the chart comparing

numbers careers and other careers, it is easy to know what the point the author wants to express

is that the people who work with number have higher salaries. And in another paragraph, “Does

A Master’s Degree Pay Off?”, there is a list of numbers-related careers where a master’s degree

is most likely to have a positive impact at the beginning of a career. As we can see, the salary of

Cristin Boyd
120000003909867
Cristin Boyd
120000003909867
Cristin Boyd
120000003909867
is this the only definition? how do definitions help readers read?? add at least one more example please.
Cristin Boyd
120000003909867
second to what?
Cristin Boyd
120000003909867
Cristin Boyd
120000003909867

5

master’s at the beginning is higher than the salary of bachelor’s among these careers like

accounting/computer and electronics manufacturing. But it depends on the specific profession

rather than overall. The author’s purpose is that we need to determine what career we want to

pursue before considering whether to gain a master’s degree. In summary, comparison can make

drawing a conclusion from data easier, meanwhile, it also makes the conclusion more convincing

basing on the data used for comparison.

CONCLUSION

To sum up, I analyzed this article rhetorical appeals and the strategies. For the appeals, logos is

used since the author displays much data about careers such as median salary. For the strategies,

exemplification, definition and comparison are applied to assist the author in explaining his

opinions about the numbers people and are helpful to the reader to understand the point of view

from the author. I think the most successful strategy for the author’s intended audience and

purpose is the comparison because the author compares the median salaries of numbers careers

and the median salaries of other careers. The intended audience can understand the author’s

opinion that the salary of numbers careers is usually higher. Finally, the change I would

recommend to better achieve his purpose is using more comparison. Because I think comparison

is pretty straightforward to show the difference between two things, and it can make the reader

easier to understand that there are a lot of careers in numbers and the careers are usually well

paid.

6

Yue Huang
120000003909867
Yue, WoW! This is a great revision! The analysis is very clear. The essay is still a little short and is missing works cited. You could add one more strategy to help. Grammar is much much better. Nice Work! CB