Adolescence Parenting Styles

Adolescence Parenting Styles

Leila Bazzi

University of Michigan Dearborn

Adolescence Parenting Styles

How would you categorize the parenting style of your parents when you were in adolescence? What parenting characteristics were present that you are basing your categorization on?

I would categorize the parenting styles of my parents in the period when I was an adolescent as authoritative. There are many parenting characteristics that pointed towards this specific parenting style, but the ultimate one is the fact that they made it clear to me all through my adolescence that they were the individuals in charge. At the same time, they assured me that they would never neglect my opinions and emotions (Larzelere, Morris & Harrist, 2013). They served as the ultimate decision-makers in the family, but before any decision was made, they consulted me to make sure that my needs were also considered in the situation. For example: when there was something being planned such as a family outing or vacation, my parents would always check to make sure that I was available that day, but at the end of the day, the final decision is my parents’.

The second reason I categorize my parents’ style as authoritative is because they were helicopter parents.

The third parenting characteristic was rulemaking. The rulemaking process was highly collaborative. My parents ultimately decided which rules they wanted to enforce in our home, but they made an effort to help me understand why they were enforcing certain rules and why they were important. This made it easier for me to comply because I was not being forced to obey the rules, but, rather, I understood the reason why they wanted to raise me a ceratin way.

Further, my parents even consulted me in some of the rules to find out how I felt about it. They gave me a chance to renegotiate some of the terms of the rules and if it was reasonable they would accommodate and if it was not possible they would explain why. They did this to make sure that the rules were not just dictated on me but they were also considerate of my opinion, emotions and needs and it was something I was willing to follow. Compliance to rules as an adolescent for me was very easy as a result.

Finally, my parents were proactive in disciplining rather than reactive. They focused more on guidance to make sure I did not make mistakes or as many mistakes rather than punishing me after the mistake was done. They encouraged dialogue for me to express my opinions and emotions and they respected them. They also greatly acknowledged good behaviour and rewarded it as an incentive for it to continue.

To what extent did you evoke certain parenting behaviours from them?

I was able to very greatly evoke my parents parenting behaviour. This is because the parenting behaviour that my parents exercised on me was not just coincidental. They make very conscious decisions to parent the way they did and also made very intentional effort to live up to this style of parenting. With this, it was very easy to notice what they were doing and this is the reason why it was easy to recall their behaviour. Further, they made me consciously see their parenting behaviour not only by being intentional about what they were doing but also by explaining to me on several occasions why they raise me the way they do.

How did their parenting influence your development?

I believe that the manner in which I was parented has everything to do with whom I have become. The influence in my case was definitely positive. First, their parenting made me an emotionally stable adolescent and adult as well. It was validating to see my parents acknowledge and consider my emotions in many ways and this brought out more positive emotions such as happiness. By creating a positive environment, I further felt a great sense of safety at home and I knew I could go to my parent for anything and this further enhanced emotional stability for me growing up. As I have learned later in life when a child has a good attachment to at least one of the primary caregivers they become more emotionally stable and this is what having such a positive relationship and environment did for me (Dunning & Dunning, 2014).

Second, their style of parenting made social development a lot easier for me as well in several ways. First and foremost it helped me grow up valuing healthy and positive relationships and this is something that I translated even in my other relationships outside my home. Further, there is a lot of good that came from me being encouraged to raise my opinion on things and to weigh in on decisions that were being made. This helped me learn how to express myself and this helped me to relate well with others as well. Finally through their effort to guide and by creating a positive and safe environment where I could easily talk to my parents I was able to make better decisions and make fewer mistakes or fall into traps such as peer pressure.

References

Dunning, L. & Dunning, B. (2014). Good parents, bad parenting: how to parent together when your parenting styles are worlds apart. Morrisville, NC: Lulu.

Gur, C. (2011). A guide for developing parenting styles: if you were s/he, what would you do? Bloomington, IN: Trafford Pub.

Larzelere, R., Morris, A. & Harrist, A. (2013). Authoritative parenting: synthesizing nurturance and discipline for optimal child development. Washington, D.C: American Psychological Association.