Complete Test on Metaphysical Psychology in 2 hours

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Thomas Francis University • Course A50 • Segment 1

—Douglas R. Kelley, PhD, CH, CSL

Upon Completion of this Segment, You Will Know:

 Why it is important to choose happiness over misery.

 The importance of respecting all living things.

 How to appreciate the “Delightful Things” of life.

 How to find peace in your life.

 How to view worry.

 Why life is much fairer than we think.

 How to have fewer problems.

May you live all the days of your life.

—Jonathan Swift

f I were able to tell you what will happen one hour from now, would that be of value to you?

If I were able to tell you what's going to happen tomorrow, would you be interested? If I could

say with accuracy what will occur in one week, one month, or one year, how much would that

be worth to you right now? You may think these questions are pointless, because I obviously can't

tell the future. But consider this further.

Imagine taking a time machine back to Tuesday, October 17, 1989. It is 4:06 p.m. local time—

just one hour before an earthquake measuring 6.9 on the Richter scale will rock the San Francisco

Bay area. Portions of Interstate 880 as well as portions of the Oakland Bay Bridge will collapse, in

addition to several apartment buildings. Among the 67 people who will die, is a man named Buck

Helm. He will be trapped for 89 hours in a car under the collapsed interstate. He will be pulled out

alive, but sadly, will die in a few days from his injuries.

Now, let's return to the present for some questions: How much would it have been worth to Buck

Helm to know the future just one hour in advance? What would each of the other 66 people who

died have traded to know the future just 60 short minutes beforehand? What would their families

have traded? Oh, not to be on those freeways; not to be in those apartment buildings! Really, they

would have traded anything they owned, short of life itself!

Segment 1: The Art of Living

So what is the point of this true story? Well, for one thing, it proves that we never know if or

when death and tragedy will visit us. We never know from moment to moment what will happen in

our lives. In reality, this very moment could be our last. As motivational speaker Zig Ziglar has stat-

ed, nobody has a contract with life that guarantees he or she will be alive one hour from now, let

alone a month or a year from now. We never know what the future holds so it is important to cher-

ish the life that we have now.

If you knew you only had a short time to live, what things would you do differently? What wrongs

would you right? Which people would you contact? What would be important? If you resolved to im-

plement these changes now, do you think the quality of your life just might improve?

THE CHOICE IS OURS

Many folks never seem to learn that life is to be lived to the full—and never to be taken for

granted. To really live life means to live with passion, conviction, strength, and honor. Life is far

too short not to enjoy it to the full, and far too long to condemn ourselves to a life of needless

trouble, anxiety, and pessimism. It is crucial that we strive to be positive and cheerful and find

happiness in our gift of life.

My wife, Tracy, is a big believer in being positive. She has encouraged me many times saying,

"Wake up in the morning and ask, 'What can I bring to this day?'" One of her favorite fictional char-

acters is L. M. Montgomery's Ann of Green Gables.1 Tracy quotes Ann as saying, "Marilla, isn't it nice

to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?" What a fresh concept! As with most

else in life, it really boils down to the attitude that we choose to maintain regarding our lives. We

can choose to wake up happy or miserable.

The story is told that once upon a time, there was a wise man who lived in a village. All the peo-

ple would go to him with problems and he would help them. Then one day, a young man came to

the village. He had degrees in psychology and philosophy, and some of the people started to go to

him for solutions to their problems. However, the inexperienced young man just couldn't help them

like the old wise man could, for the old man had a life time of experience behind him. So the young

man figured if he could prove wiser than the old man, the people would come to him instead. He

thought and thought, and finally came up with an idea. He would catch a small bird and hide it be-

hind his back. Then he would go to the old wise man and, in front of all the people, ask him wheth-

er the bird was alive or dead. If the old man said "alive," he would simply squeeze the tiny bird be-

hind his back, bring it out dead, and thereby prove the old man wrong. If the old man said "dead,"

he would bring out the bird alive and prove him wrong that way. So, he went up the hill to where

the old man was and said, "I have a bird behind my back. Is it alive or is it dead?" Without a mo-

ment's hesitation, the old wise man replied, "Whether the bird lives or dies is in your hand."

Yes, indeed, the choice is in our hand as to whether or not we will make the most of our lives

during the short time that we are here. If the choice is in our hand, why not choose to live our life

to the full? If we make the right choice, then we retain control of our life. How unpleasant life can

be when we don't exercise any input or control over it. It is like a raft drifting on the waves with no

means of power or control, and at the mercy of the vast and intemperate sea.

1 Bantam, 1992

Segment 1: The Art of Living

SHOW RESPECT FOR LIFE

I learned a great lesson about the value of life when I was about 10 years old. I was very proud

of a slingshot that I had fashioned from a tree branch and was anxious to use it. So, one day a cou-

ple of neighborhood kids and I were out looking for targets to shoot. The other boys started to shoot

at flying birds, so I thought I would try it too. I sighted a sparrow flying about 200 feet straight up

and shot. The stone came within a foot or two of hitting the poor bird. I was very excited that I had

come so close to hitting it and ran home to tell my dad. My enthusiasm soon evaporated for he told

me that I should never ever hurt another living thing for any reason, especially not for sport. Both

of my parents impressed upon me a high regard for all creation and taught me to respect life. I

have never forgotten that lesson. So much did that lesson stick with me, that it is difficult for me to

kill even the smallest spider, because after all, it has a right to live too.

All we need to do is observe nature around us to appreciate how valuable life is. The odds of us

individually being born are astronomical—so many things had to happen just right! If just one of our

ancestors had a freak accident and died before having children, we would not be here. If our par-

ents had not met each other—for a host of possible reasons—we would not be here either. Indeed, if

we factor in the barbarity of ages past, it is a miracle that we are even here at all! If we really

think about it, we can come up with countless events that had to occur at just the right time and in

the perfect order for us to live. This in itself should give us pause for serious thought.

This matter of the value of life goes much deeper than simple creatures, especially when we

consider the human-right to life. Aside from the justice system, does any human have the moral

right to choose whether another human will live or die? Once we factor in the Law of Free Will, the

answer is that every human has the right to exist, as long as he or she does not cause harm to his or

her fellow human. That is indeed the only conclusion we can arrive at and still show honor and re-

spect for free will and human life.1

A problem arises when we do not allow others the privilege of free will that we desire ourselves.

So many on this planet need to learn respect for life—yes, respect for living. Too many people only

add chaos to theirs and others' lives by being controlling or taking themselves too seriously and in-

sisting on their own way of doing things.

On this planet, ecosystems depend on one another for survival. In turn, humans depend on these

same ecosystems, as well as one another, for survival. If we as a species continue to show hostility

toward each other and to our planet instead of loving kindness and respect, we may all pay the

price—extinction.

THE DELIGHTFUL THINGS OF LIFE

Several years ago, I heard a tender story about a father who punished his little three year-old

daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and he became upset when

the little girl tried to decorate a box. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the

next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but

he got upset again when he found that the box was empty. Irritated, he said to her, "Don't you know

that when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside of it?" The little girl

1 This discussion is not aimed toward abortion issues. While I personally believe in the right to life with very few excep-

tions, I do not consider myself qualified to make other people's decisions for them.

Segment 1: The Art of Living

looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into the

box, all for you, Daddy." The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and begged

her forgiveness. The father kept that gold box by his bed for many years. Whenever he was discour-

aged, he would take out an imaginary "butterfly kiss" from the box and remember the love of the

child who had put them there.

This touching story illustrates many things, most importantly, it is easy to take life for granted

and overlook the delightful things of life. The majority of the time, life's delightful things are quite

simple. What could be more precious than "butterfly kisses" from a little girl to her father?

How many things can we count as the "delightful things" in our life? These are the little treasures

of life that probably have little or no monetary value. It can be as simple as the sight of a pretty

flower; or the song of a favorite bird; or the exhilarating scent of the forest. It can be a memory or

a memento. For example, many years ago when my son was in pre-school, he made me a pen holder

for my desk out of a soup can—and it’s been on my desk to this day. It has his picture on it and it is

special to me only. It would mean nothing to anyone else. Many are the things that we each can

cherish in a private way that bring us delight.

Why not take an inventory of the delightful things in your life? Then review the list often, espe-

cially when you are discouraged. Consider sharing your list with someone who will appreciate it,

like a good friend, partner, or spouse.

Allow gratitude and thankfulness for these delightful things to be reflected in your mind and at-

titude at all times.

Never forget, life is about the precious and "delightful things." It's about treasuring the small and

pretty things around us, as well as the bigger things.

FINDING PEACE

When we look at the core value of our existence and appreciate the simple and delightful things

in life, it adds to life's meaning and ultimately, to finding fulfillment.

This fulfillment then engenders peace in our lives. This peace in our lives and homes is to be

prized almost more than anything else. Without peace, life offers precious little fulfillment or

meaning. By taking a serious interest in making our lives as problem-free as possible, we make our

own peace and find life worth living.

Many things can rob us of our peace. Two examples to consider are worry, and an attitude that

life is not fair.

Worry.

I once heard former Congressman and motivational speaker Ed Foreman define worry in a

thought-provoking way. He said, "Worry is the misuse of the imagination." Most of the time when we

worry, we are imagining the worst possible scenario. Since nobody can tell the future, no one can

possibly know what it holds. Therefore, the future will happen regardless of whether we worry

about it or not.

Segment 1: The Art of Living

When you think about it, worry is simply another control issue. We worry because we cannot

control the future or other people or certain circumstances. Since we cannot control these things,

what sense is there in needlessly worrying about it?

In this same vein, Mark Twain wrote, "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles,

but most of them never happened." When we worry, we borrow imagined pain from the future to

languish over today. In all reality, what we imagine may never happen at all. Since we have plenty

to concern ourselves about today, why make our lives harder by imagining the worst that could

happen tomorrow?

We all have times when we borrow imagined problems from the future to stress over today. Case

in point, some years ago, my car began to overheat. After checking that the radiator was full of wa-

ter, I checked for bad hoses, but found none. Having had experience in the past with a blown head

gasket that required over a thousand dollars for repairs, I began to worry that my only car needed

expensive service, but I had no way to pay for it. I continued to check for possible solutions, but

also continued to fret over the possibility of it needing expensive repairs. The more I stressed, the

less clear was my thinking. However, in researching possible explanations as well as drawing on past

experience with repairing other cars I once owned, I was able to figure out the problem and repair

my problem for $30 and an hour of my time by replacing the thermostat. What’s the point? The

point is that I had a huge problem—in my imagination. The reality of the matter was quite simple

and not worthy of any stress at all. In other words, I got stressed out for nothing. I began to stress

before I got all the facts. How about you? Do you get stressed over imagined problems due to insuf-

ficient data?

Pessimism is also a big part of worry. Again, the future will happen, good or bad, right or wrong,

positively or negatively—and no one alive can predict it with any real accuracy, and we often can-

not control it. What is, is, and we cannot change what is unless it has to do with us individually.

Since we have yet another choice to make, why not choose to remain positive and not allow our im-

aginations to trek down the dark path of pessimism?

Worry can also lead to health problems. When we are worried about something which we cannot

control, it consumes and depletes us. It drains the life right out of us and we begin to die like a

flower without water. Our countenance reflects this condition in the worry lines that form on our

face. But we must regain control over ourselves, and not allow anything to rob us of our precious

peace of mind. When we worry, we only hurt ourselves, and if we are a chronic worrier, then we

hurt those around us as well.

Occasionally, we may feel that we have good cause for concern and worry. What can we do to

soften the agony of worry? Dale Carnegie in his book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,1

talked about a system devised by Willis H. Carrier, (of Carrier air-conditioning fame) for dealing

with insurmountable circumstances. Mr. Carrier suggested three steps to manage our worry: 1) De-

termine the worst possible outcome; 2) Unconditionally accept the worst possible outcome; and 3)

Calmly try to improve on the worst possible outcome.

Why does this method work so well? Because, as one unknown writer expressed, "Nothing is so

powerful as the condition of having nothing to lose. If you've got no downside, why not give it a

try?" If our problems are as bad as they can get, then the only way left to go is up. When we adopt

Willis Carrier's advice, we may find that our worries evaporate back into the nothingness from 1 Simon and Schuster, 1948

Segment 1: The Art of Living

which they came, and are replaced by a positive and peaceful feeling of acceptance and determi-

nation for improvement.

Life is just not fair!

How many times we have uttered those words! And they sound so good! They seem to console us

or serve as an excuse when something seemingly unfair happens to us.

But is it really true that life is unfair? A couple of arguments bear on this question. First, the

Cosmic Law of Cause and Effect states that we will reap what we sow. This is a principle truth in

our universe. If we were to plant rose bushes, would it be reasonable to think that tulips would

grow? Are we surprised when we enjoy the good things of life that come because of working dili-

gently? We shouldn’t be.

Sir Isaac Newton's Third Law of Motion states that for every action there is an equal and opposite

reaction. Therefore, it is not difficult to conclude that the Universe (or life) gives back to us exact-

ly 100% of what we give it. I’m often mystified when someone complains about their job, relation-

ships, or something else such as an association or gym membership saying they don’t get anything

out of it. Actually they are both right and wrong. They got out of it exactly what they put into it, in

this case, nothing.

Using this principle as a basis, can we say that life is really unfair? When we honestly and care-

fully consider it, we may find that life treats us exactly like we treat it. If something "undeserved"

has happened to us, consider how it came about rather than quickly conclude that we did nothing

to cause it. For example, many have felt that life is not fair due to the breakup of an intimate rela-

tionship. While this is a very difficult challenge to undergo, can we honestly say that we did nothing

to bring it about? Technically, even if we did nothing to deserve this, we still got into a relationship

with this person and perhaps, due to inexperience, did not make a good choice at the time. If we

had made a better choice, this situation may never have happened at all. So can we say that life is

not fair because we ourselves or someone else made poor choices? A better life means making bet-

ter choices.

In the end, life may be fairer than we give it credit for. Again, the Universe (life) always gives

back to us exactly what we give it, even though it may take some time to come about. This is the

key. My father always told me that "there is a lag time between planting and harvest." We must be

patient.

Even if something unfortunate has happened to us that occurred as a result of a freak accident

or the like, we can still learn the lessons contained, although we may never understand the "Why?"

question.

By understanding Cosmic Laws of Truth such as cause and effect, we add meaning and peace to

our lives. However, a higher quality of life does not come without effort on our part. But it will be

well worth it due to the benefits of an improved existence and better self-concept, not to mention

making the world a better place. All it takes is for people to refine themselves one by one, and

eventually, humankind as a whole will advance to the next level of kindness toward and respect for

one another. Holocaust survivor and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Elie Wiesel, said it well, "Mankind

must remember that peace is not God's gift to his creatures; peace is our gift to each other."

Segment 1: The Art of Living

RESOLVE TO REALLY LIVE!

Even though we don't have a time machine that will allow us to change

the future or the past, we can nevertheless acquire certain knowledge of

the future by using common sense. For example, think about a time that

you drove down a winding road. You have no-doubt noticed that when there

is a turn in the road, the highway department places yellow signs to warn

of an upcoming curve and the suggested speed to safely negotiate the turn.

If we choose to ignore the safe speed, it is entirely possible to end up off

the road, and maybe down the side of a steep ravine. Couldn't we say that

those yellow warning signs actually represent knowledge of the future?

Likewise, if we use our common sense and intuition, and pay attention, we

can usually get down the road of life safely. If we choose to ignore life's little warning signs, then

we don't fare as well. It is a matter of common sense, listening to your Higher Self, and choosing

well.

In addition to heeding life's warning signs, we must also make the conscious decision to take con-

trol of our lives and live with power and forward motion. Would we rather be a ship floating on the

sea or one driven by a powerful engine that takes us where we want to go?

Jonathan Swift said it quite succinctly in the segment quote above, "May you live all the days of

your life." What wonderful advice for us! At some point in our lives, we must wake up from our life-

stupor and really begin to live our lives to the full. We must assume complete responsibility for who

we are and live with passion!

Why not do that right now? Why not resolve right now to see the world in a better light and work

toward making it a better place for ourselves and those around us? Happiness is where you see it.