Business
Adaptive Selling
Personality and Communication Personality is the sum of your traits, attitudes and habits. You can use your personality to facilitate communication, simplify information processing and assist in training. Think about some of the meetings you’ve had with people you didn’t know. With most people you’ve met, you’ve gotten along okay with. Now and then, you meet someone who instantly turned off, or you met someone with whom you instantly clicked. Most of the time when you click with someone or are immediately turned off by someone, it’s because of a match or mismatch with your communication styles. Everyone has a communication style, a behavior for communicating that is observable. It is a way of thinking and behaving. It’s your operating system for understanding the world around you. Your communication style tends to be pretty stable; however, as you go on in life you learn to adapt or flex with different communication styles. Adaptive selling is altering your communication style to improve communication with your listener. In effect, it’s adjusting how you, question them about their needs and respond to their needs, so you can help them understand more easily. Though this may seem difficult, it’s quite easy to do once you understand your own communication style. This chapter will help you to identify your communication style, learn the different types of communication styles, and how to flex your style to communicate persuasively with other people who have different styles.
The Communication Grid The communication grid contains four different communication styles based on two dimensions: sociability and dominance. The continuum of sociability measures how we control our emotional expression. Those who are high in sociability give free rein to the expression of emotion whereas those low in sociability tend to rein it in. People with high sociability seek lots of interaction with others. Those low in sociability prefer to work alone. The second continuum is dominance.
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Dominance measures how much a person tends to want to control situations or have their way. People with high dominance are often seen as outspoken, decisive, and competitive. Those low in dominance tend to be easy-going, cooperative, and reserved in their opinions. The next step is to determine your preferred communication style by identifying your position of the sociability and dominance scale. You will find a worksheet in the appendix of this book. Fill out the questionnaires and follow along in the text.
The four communication styles We can combine the two continua to form the communication grid. Sociability forms the vertical axis, and dominance forms the horizontal axis. The axes divide the four communication styles into a grid. The four styles are as follows:
Feeler-- high in sociability and high in dominance Sensor--low in sociability and high in dominance Thinker--Low in sociability and low in dominance Intuitor--High in sociability and low in dominance
(The back of the worksheet in the appendix has a copy of the of the communication grid for notes.) In the following pages, we will describe each one of the communication styles, illustrate cues for identifying the person’s communication style, describe the weaknesses for each of the communication styles, and outline how to persuade each type.
Low Sociability
High Sociability
High Dominance
Low Dominance
Sensor
Feeler
Thinker
Intuitor
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The Sensor A sensor exhibits low sociability and high dominance. Sensors have a lot of good qualities. Sensors like to be in charge and are very serious about their business. They like to get to the point and can be aggressive competitors. Sensors love a challenge. They are entrepreneurial, see the big picture, and high-speed problem solvers. These risk-takers are an independent bunch with strong wills and a need to control situations. Other descriptors include aggressive, decisive, serious, determined, and intense. What Sensors Look Like
It’s hard to miss a sensor. They exude a lot of focused energy--always on the go. They appear to be quite busy and don’t like their time wasted. They are serious about business, and often have a just- the-facts kind of attitude. They feel comfortable talking and giving orders, so sometimes when you are talking they appear not to be interested. They contain their facial expressions and often appear quite formal. They can be very verbal and tend to be fast and active in their speech. Their speech contains many statements and they are prone to express strong opinions. Their bodies tend to lean forward (remember they are on the go). They tend to move quickly and stiffly. They use few gestures. They have a lot of direct eye contact. If you can get into a sensor’s office, you’ll see lots of clues. A sensor’s desk usually blocks the approach of other people. Their desk is in a power position, so people must sit on the other side of the desk from the sensor. If the sensor has anything on his walls, it will be achievement awards and a prominent calendar. If he or she has mementos from pastimes, they will be for group activities such as team sports or politics. The Dark Side of Sensors
When sensors get stressed, they get pushy and impatient with others. Sometimes in their rush to push ahead, they can be so tough as to border on harsh. Being so goal-oriented can cause them to be tactless and hurt others’ feelings. They can be egotistical and domineering. The fear that drives these negative behaviors is being taken advantage of or losing. Selling to Sensors
Because sensors are all about the business, you don’t need to develop a deep friendship with them. They prefer to keeps the relationships business-like. Remember, they are trying to develop/grow a business, so they want someone who can deliver what they need. They don’t want a pal or a friend. They want someone they can depend on. Because sensors are always on their schedule, we must respect their time more so than with most other peoples. Sensors want meetings and presentations to be well-organized and time-efficient. The worst thing you can do to a sensor is waste their time. Because they are so goal oriented, the information you want to provide should support and help them reach their goals. You should provide the appropriate facts and figures. They also like to have an idea of the percentage of success with each solution. Do not force them into a corner with one solution. Instead give them various solutions with the appropriate facts and figures. Then let them decide. That’s what sensors do, decide. So let them know that you can appreciate what she or she does best.
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The Thinker A thinker exhibits low sociability and low dominance. A thinker has a lot of good qualities. They are critical thinkers and precise problem-solvers. They like procedures and guidelines. When they are going to make a decision, they gather a lot of information and seek as much detail as possible about the information they need. They tend to be cautious individuals who check and weigh all the facts before making a decision. They have high standards. They value accuracy and efficiency. Their caution causes them to be somewhat reserved and introspective. They like structure and are quite orderly. They are deliberate and slow paced which makes them calculated risk takers. They are task-oriented and driven to get the job done. Some other descriptors of thinkers are precise, scientific, questioning, persistent, and disciplined. What Thinkers Look Like
The thinker appears respectful and somewhat reserved. Though they care, they are less apt to display warmth. Their emotional expression tends to be controlled. When they express their opinion it’s measured. They are low key and not dramatic. Their actions are measured and businesslike. They may appear aloof and somewhat hard to get to know. Their love for orderliness is apparent in their dress and surroundings. Their environment is highly structured. Thinkers can appear cool and aloof. Their clothing is conservative and tidy. Their emotions are well-controlled and appear serious. Their eye contact is often indirect. Their voice is slower and softer. Their body may lean slightly backward. Their movements are deliberate and economical. If you see their office, you’ll find a lot of clues. Many thinkers have a technical background. Their office is work oriented and appears active and efficient. You will note a certain orderliness and structure in the way things are laid out on desks and table. You may find achievement awards on their walls. If he or she has mementos on the desk or walls, they will be for solitary activities or sports. The Dark Side of Thinkers
When thinkers get stressed they stop displaying any type of emotion. They withdraw emotionally and become very stiff and formal. They begin to focus too much on details and are often unwilling to make a decision and keep looking for more information. They can begin to quibble over insignificant details and become overly critical and judgmental. The fear that drives this negative behavior in thinkers is criticism that they do not want, criticism that says they are not good enough. Selling to Thinkers
Because thinkers are critical thinkers who are task oriented and low on sociability, they like a direct, business-like approach. Arrive on time and be well prepared. Relationships building should not require an excessive amount of time. They are fact oriented people. They like a well-organized approach with lots of detail. Present everything in an orderly fashion moving slowly and deliberately. Be unemotional in your presentation: it’s just the facts. When you are proposing a solution, do so in a deliberate and slow manner. Do not hurry the close until you have laid out all of the solution. Never pressure them for a quick decision. They think slowly and deliberately so they don’t make mistakes. They will not appreciate the pressure and may become critical and more formal.
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The Feeler A feeler exhibits high sociability and high dominance. Feelers appear very active and tend to appear spontaneous and uninhibited. They like people and seem to always take the social initiative. They initiate and maintain contact. Their style is open and direct. They exude a lot of warmth, and they encourage informality. When they express themselves they do so with dramatic emotion. They often act impulsively. They maintain a large number of friendships with many different types of people. Some other descriptors of feelers are personable, persuasive, dynamic, stimulating, and passionate. What Feelers Look Like
The feeler is people-oriented, empathetic, and responsive to others. They are spontaneous, fun- loving, and inspirational. They need open communication with others and form mutually supportive relationships with them. They are motivated by recognition and can be self-promoting. A feeler shows emotion and is often friendly and playful. They appear warm and approachable. Their body movements are free and quick with many frequent gestures. They have direct and engaging eye contact. Their facial expressions are highly animated. Their speech is quick and intense. It carries many inflections. Their body tends to lean forward. Compared to other business people, the feeler tends to dress either in a more casual manner or a more ostentatious manner. If you get to see their office, you’ll find it open and inviting. The desk will be positioned to let the Feeler have physical contact with visitors. The desk will be cluttered and disorganized. You may find plaques with motivational slogans or posters on the walls. If the feeler has mementos on the desk or walls, they will be for group activities such as group sports or politics. The Dark Side of Feelers
When feelers get stressed, they may often exaggerate or talk too much. They stop listening to others and begin to overly promote their own agenda. Sometimes they become so outspoken and emotional that they can be offensive or patronizing. They have a hard time staying focused on the task at hand. They can become undisciplined, disorganized, and ignore profitability. They will often avoid confrontation. The fear behind these negative behaviors is that others may reject them and they may lose approval. Selling to Feelers
Because feelers are so people oriented and fast paced, you need to establish a rapport quickly and build a relationship. Make them the center of attention. They appreciate enthusiasm and expect good eye contact. Mirror their informality and avoid stiffness and formality. Appreciate their spontaneity. Your presentation of their solution should focus on how the solution fits their dreams, ideas and opinions. You must demonstrate how your solution will give them the status and prestige they crave. Listen carefully and keep them on track. You don’t want your sales call to turn into a visit. Do not push details and facts on them in the oral presentation, but make sure to have these on paper to help him or her follow along.
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The Intuitor An intuitor exhibits high sociability and low dominance. Intuitors are good listeners who are very quiet and unassuming. They have very low visibility because they are quiet and reserved. Though they have and display feelings, they do so without a lot of force. Rather than relying on power, the intuitor uses friendly persuasion. It takes them a long time to make a decision because they are thoughtful and deliberate. They tend to see everyone’s position in a situation. Some other descriptors of intuitors are passive, warm, docile, sensitive and compliant. What Intuitors Look Like
The intuitor is service oriented, dependable, group-oriented and nurturing. They are receptive and gentle. They like to help others and want everyone to get along. They like systems that keep things running smoothly but when things don’t work out, they go with the flow and gets things done. They expect everyone to do their share. They appear calm and relaxed and are not overly demonstrative. They often appear content. They are practical, predictable, and slow to change. They do not give up easily. They are risk averse. The quiet introspective manner of the intuitor cloaks a dreamer and a visionary who can see things form many angles. They can conjure ideas and options out of thin air. The intuitor appears warm and approachable. They care about others but they are more reserved in their expression of emotion or opinion. Their body movements are slow and deliberate. They have indirect eye contact. Their facial expressions are highly animated. Their speech is slow and soft. Their body tends to lean back. Compared to others, intuitors tend to express moderate opinions if they express any. Intuitors tend to dress casually or ostentatiously. If you get to see their office, you’ll find it open and friendly. The desk will be positioned to let the Feeler have physical contact with visitors. You will find lots of pictures of family and personal mementos on the desk and walls. Intuitors like solitary activities and individual sports. The Dark Side of Intuitors
When intuitors get stressed, they are unable to make a strong stand and will agree with everyone. They may become anxious to win the approval of others, so they will conform. They may become overly self-sacrificing. In some cases, stressed intuitors may appear to be wimpy, insecure doormat. The fear behind these negative behaviors is that things will change. Selling to Intuitors
Because intuitors are people oriented you must build a social relationship with them before proceeding. This is critical. Without a personal relationship, they will not move forward. Let them direct the conversation. Because they don’t express much, you should listen carefully to their feelings and opinions. Study their feelings and opinions along with their technical needs. You should be professional but friendly. You can connect easily with them by giving them time to dream and not crowding their personal space. Make sure to support their views and provide personal assurances. Remember they do not like change and risk averse. Move slowly and with patience. Don’t rush them. It takes them longer to comprehend the proposal. If you have to disagree with something they say remember that they do not like conflict, so be gentle and respectful.
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Communication Bias Communication bias is seeking to communicate only in the style in which you’re comfortable: your own style. Let’s face it, it’s comfortable. We’ve been communicating a certain way our whole lives. Communication bias can cause tremendous problems for people engaged in professional persuasion. Another problem for professional persuaders is that most salespeople focus on the content of their communication and the technical specifications of their solutions rather than on how they deliver the information. While it might be nice to speak only to feelers if you’re an feeler, in sales you can’t pick the communication style of your clients. You have to work with the communication style of your clients.
Stress and Communication Styles When people are relaxed, they tend to communicate in a more or less centered style that does not favor any one of the four communication styles. Psychologically healthy people tend to use a little bit of all four styles all the time. They tend to be balanced when they are relaxed. Let’s use the analogy of a wheel spinning on its axis. If the wheel is pretty well balanced, it turns smoothly and evenly. A relaxed mood, lets you work from the close to the axis. Stress makes a person revert to their favored communication style. The more stressed a person becomes, the further they move away from the center. When a person reaches the furthest reaches of their communication style, they enter the dark side. For example, sensors, who are generally take charge kind of people, may become tactless, harsh and abrasive in their drive to reach their goals.
Low Sociability
High Sociability
High Dominance
Low Dominance
Sensor
Feeler
Thinker
Intuitor
Relaxed & centered
Stressed & unbalanced
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Stressed intuitors who would normally be nurturing and receptive people suddenly become wishy- washy doormats who try to please everyone. The issue that drives people to the outer edge of the communication style circle is fear. Every communication style has a different fear.
Feelers fear rejection and loss of approval. Sensors fear losing or being taken advantage of. Thinkers fear unwanted criticism or criticism that they are not good enough. Intuitors fear change and the loss of the status quo.
To best communicate with people when they are stressed, we should keep in mind what fear is driving their behavior and work with their communication style.
Style Flexing The best way to work with someone’s communication style is to adapt your own style to theirs. This is the essence of style flexing. You change the way you present the information so your prospective client can more easily understand and act on the information you are providing. For example when communicating with a thinker, you have to consider how a thinker operates. A thinker is cool and controlled. They gather lots of information which they cautiously check and weigh. They make decisions deliberately and calculate the odds of success. They like order. Then you present your information in the way they want to hear it. Because they are cool, you keep the presentation businesslike and unemotional. Because they like order and detail, you present information in a well-organized manner with more detail than you would normally use. You move slowly and methodically.