HW6

Avoiding Redundancies Dire c t e d L e arning Ac t iv it y — St y le 09

Essential Question What are redundancies and how do I eliminate them from my writing?

Purpose Upon completion of this activity, students will be able to define the term “redundancies” as it relates to

writing and correct redundancies to make a passage clearer and more direct.

This DLA should take approximately 1 hour to complete.

Before You Begin To complete this DLA, you will need to view the video “Stop Using that Horrid Grammar: Redundancies”

by TopSkills Auditing. Then respond to these questions:

1) What is a redundancy?

2) Give one example of a needless modifier.

3) Give one example of a redundant acronym.

4) Why should writers avoid redundancies?

Exercise Revise the passage below, eliminating the redundancies.

Walmart is well known in the North American continent and U.S. for being the nation’s

largest food retailer (Supermarket News). Since it is the nation’s largest food retailer, its plan for

promoting healthy diets would turn out to be very effective in fighting diseases such as obesity.

Walmart is well known through the nation. That is simply because it is known for having

cheap prices and a wide range of choices for all goods. These goods do not just include foods,

but it also has consumer goods such as clothing, pharmaceutical products, and finally

electronics. Another factor that really assisted Walmart in getting where it is right now is the

services it offers. These services include tire changing, photo help center, and the banking

services that are placed in the Walmart store. These services make it easier for the consumer to

shop at Walmart and make this store the one destination they always want to go for almost

every necessity they need in life.

Statistics have proven that Walmart is the largest food retailer of the whole North

American region (Supermarket News). Even though Walmart started in the U.S., soon

afterwards it became a multinational firm that is now placed in more than 15 countries. Not

only have talks that have been on TV stated that Walmart is the world’s largest food retailer, but

statistics have proved these statements. The statistics state and prove that Walmart is the

world’s biggest retailer with revenue of 405 billion dollars, followed by Carrefour with 124

billion dollars revenue. Walmart has 2737 stores in the U.S. and a total of 8100 placed in 15

different countries. There are 7.2 billion transactions per year in which Americans spent 36

million dollars in Walmart per hour, with a ratio of 8 cents Americans spent in U.S. stores is

spent in this particular store. It is also for being the biggest company by number of employees,

which sums up to a total of 2,100,000 workers consisting of both males and females. Since it

contains this big amount of workers, then surely it owns a lot of assets. These assets consist of

147 distribution centers, 53,000 trailers, 7200 tractors and finally 7950 drivers. These facts are

good enough to prove that Walmart is definitely the world’s largest food supplier, including the

U.S.

Excerpt taken from UC Denver’s website.

Review your answers with an instructor or tutor in the Virtual Writing & Reading Center. Be sure you can

answer the essential question above.