Exemplification needs to be fixed

i need this essay fixed it has a lot of mistakes and misunderstanding of the prompt i got 60% :(

i will attach the essay just needs to be fixed

please read the prompt carfully

This is my last chance to fix it but i have to follow this:

Revision Rubric and Points Possible

Receive an addition of:

0 points : Superficial changes or no changes of improvement

2 points : Mere corrections in response to some or all of instructor’s notations

7 points : Meaningful revision in addition to corrections made according to instructor’s notations.

*Structure improved

*Thesis improved

*Examples improved

*Title finessed

Amended Grade not to exceed a B

2 letter grades : Significant revision that demonstrates effort to do more than correct, but also develops ideas

*Structure improved

*Thesis improved

*Examples improved

*Title finessed

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This the prompt for the essay:

Exemplification is the use of concrete examples, details, and observations to illustrate a point. You interviewed two people 8 questions for each person about your chosen topic and those interviews are your primary sources. In response to one of the following prompts, form an assertive argument. Using the Exemplification Mode, provide specific examples with concrete details to illustrate your thesis statement. Remember to be aware of your audience and to write for academic purpose. Use transition words as one way to ensure your essay is cohesive, and put sources in context for your readers. The essay must include the use of two DIRECT QUOTES; two uses of PARAPHRASE; and two uses of SUMMARY each. The essay should be 3 to 4 pages in MLA style plus a Works Cited page. In other words, you should turn in a final essay and Works Cited page for a total of 4 to 5 pages. 

Submit the 8 questions with the essay

No web cited

Choose one of the following prompts:

1. Like much of the world, residents of Southwest Louisiana are surrounded by social media. There are social media sites for virtually every interest that can connect us to others across the world, alienate us from others, or have an effect somewhere in between. Form an argument as to whether the use of social media sites generally have a positive or negative impact. Use concrete examples and details to support your argument.

1. Consider our class discussion about workplace stress, its negative effects, possible positive effects, and situations that encompass a mixture of both. Then form your argument about the effects of workplace stress. Make sure you use concrete examples to support your thesis.

1. A teacher or coach can have a significant impact on a student’s life. Keeping in mind our class discussion about different impacts possible, form an argument about the effect and role of a teacher or coach. As always, use concrete examples to support your claim.