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Provide a response to two peers in my class. See case study and their Discussion Response below

Case Study

Case Study #1 – Missions Committee Meltdown

Imagine that you receive the following email (or letter or phone message) from a Christian friend.

Help! I wish I had never agreed to serve on our church missions committee! One of the other committee members is so irritating! Pat delights in using cutting humor and seems to look for ways to ridicule others’ ideas and suggestions, especially mine.

When Pat disagreed with me on a financial issue during last night’s meeting, I finally lost my patience. Knowing that he is self-conscious about not going to college, I said something like, “I can see why these figures are hard for you to understand, Pat, but if you had just a little more education, it would all add up.” He just sat there stunned, and the rest of the group moved on with the discussion. It was awkward. I felt sort of sorry about saying what I did, but I also think he had it coming.

This morning I found a letter from Pat under my door––he must have delivered it late last night. The letter goes on for two pages, harshly accusing me of all sorts of wrongs. I can see why he is angry with me belittling him in front of others, but he has made all sorts of other accusations that are exaggerated or completely untrue. He concludes by saying I am unfit to serve on the missions committee. And he had the nerve to send a copy to the committee chairman!

I’m torn between writing him a letter pointing out how he brought this on himself, or discussing it on the phone. What do you think I should do?

Although you would normally try to talk in person or by phone about such a delicate issue, your schedule won’t allow that in this case. So you decide to mail your friend a copy of the Peacemaker Brochure, along with a personal letter explaining how he (or she) might apply the basic principles of peacemaking in this situation. What would you write? (Assume that your friend is the type of person who would appreciate as much detailed advice as you can possibly provide, so suggest specific wording on how to confess, correct, forgive, or negotiate.)

Peer Reponse

My friend, working with a committee, many have great ideas in mind on how the mission should be accomplished. Often, we feel our way is the correct way and then only way to see the outcome be a success.

When we agree to serve, we need to understand the work we are doing is not for us but for the Glory of God.

I have attached a brochure that address peacemaking principles. I want to implore you to review these carefully and use it to address the conflict at hand.

First I want to review with you is know that everything we do is for the Glory of God. You should not feel any regret for serving on this committee due to the conflict you are having with Pat. Could it be that God has placed you on this committee to help Pat with the deficiencies he has with his education? With your great finance skills, you can help Pat properly interpret the information, gaining a greater knowledge base a comfortability overcoming his weakness. Where is where we need to not see ourselves so highly and take the log out of our own eye and be a true servant. It is not wise to belittle any of God’s children but to see how we can be a true servant and aid them along the way.

I advise you to first step back and repent. Repent for your wrong doing of not seeing the reason God has placed you on this committee and then repent for not recognizing where your Christian brother was weak and needed your support. When individuals have a deficiency, unfortunately they will mask that deficiency with the spirit of pride. “Pride goes before destruction.” (Proverbs 16:18 NASB) Ask yourself, does Pat has an issue with a prideful spirit or do you and Pat have an issue with a prideful spirit? “Pride will have a fall. Those that are of a haughty spirit, that think of themselves above what is meet, and look with contempt upon others, that with their pride affront God and disquiet others, will be brought down, either by repentance or by ruin. It is the honor of God to humble the proud.”[1] My friend, the wonderful thing overall is that God is a merciful God who forgives when we repent and we can be restored as well as reconciled to Him and our Christian brothers and sisters.

Seek brother Pat in peace and work through the conflict first with asking for his forgiveness. Pray with Pat and pray together that God will guide you both through the work He has for you too contributing to this committee. Remember my friend, it is all for the Glory of God.

Case Study # 1 - Missions Committee Meltdown

Peace be with you dear friend,

Thank you for sharing your conflict with me. Forgive me for not taking time to speak with you in person or over the phone. My current schedule does not allow for such conversation. I hope that my writing may enlighten the challenges of your experience and offer a few words of advise on resolving this conflict. I would like to begin this letter by reminding you of your mission on the committee team. This service is for the glory of God and I pray that you may honor him in this situation with your teammate Pat.

As I understand your situation, Pat seemingly takes delight in cynical humor and looks for opportunity to ridicule and criticize suggestions made during your meetings. You are under the impression that his comments are especially directed towards you. However, knowing that he is self-conscious about his lack of education, you took the opportunity to shame him in public. You have received two page letter addressing your wrong doings during last night's meeting. Pat believes you are unfit to serve the missions committee and send a copy to the chairman. You are now torn between pointing the finger or discussing the conflict over the phone. What a dilemma! I hope that God gives you the wisdom and understanding to

I have attached a copy of the Peacemaker Boucher as a resources for you to begin to resolve this conflict. A basic principal of this situation, and any that involves conflict is to use the opportunity to glorify God who is perfect. We are called to model his perfection through the same mercy, forgiveness and love he's shown us through Jesus Christ. Furthermore, it gives us the opportunity to serve the other, even if it means we are humiliated during the process. Keep this in mind as you read and think of ways to approach this situation. Second, recognize your part in the conflict. That is to ask, what contributions did you play both positive and negative for this problem to arise. Consider the fact that before last nights encounter with Pat, he may not have known how much his comments during the meetings bothered you deeply. The scriptures tells us "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over"( Matthew 18:15). Begin by asking Pat to meet with you, just the two of you.Perhaps lunch or coffee, your treat. Ask him "why do you think that I have reacted in that way?" The best way to try and understand Pat's behaviors towards you is to also ask him for forgiveness. Forgiveness for killing him your heart throughout your meetings. Although you may not have addressed this with him directly, he should know where your frustrations stem from. You can say "Pat, forgive me for judging you, your cutting humor and criticism have hurt me. I have killed you in my heart and further experienced death in my own heart as a result". Begin by confessing your faults, while also addressing his sin against you may begin to restore brotherhood in Christ.

I believe that both you and Pat have an extraordinary mission on the committee! "It's no wonder that Satan makes every attempt to keeps us out of harmony. He knows that our unity will thwart his progress"( Pegues,15). You are serving a greater purpose on the team and it is imperative for you to reconcile with Pat immediately. Our sins and unresolved not only block progress but effect others around us. Although, I cannot guarantee that Pat will accept your willingness to reconcile, I am confident that God will defend you and bring peace to you. Remember that unresolved conflicts can bring such consequences as the ones your are experiencing. Be consoled and confident that God will defend you through your attempt to resolve the conflict if you are able to see that you are no better than Pat and have also hurt him. Scriptures says, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others sins your father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15.

My dear friend, I pray that God gives you the humility to confront Pat with love, recognizing that you are no better than he. Further more that this experience may bring you divine peace and spirit to continue your mission on the committee.

Courage and peace be with you,

Cristiana Wilson-King

References:

Pegues, D. S. (2009). Confronting without offending. Eugene: Harvest House

New Jerusalem Bible

Sande, K. (2004). The peace maker. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.